Chris Hayes’ Pen

I do a great deal of writing, and I prefer using a pen. In fact, I find it easiest to write fiction when I’m not in front of a computer. And I am very picky about the pens I use. I’ll use anything, but if I’m going to get into the groove, I need a good pen. What does that mean? The pen must posses the following qualities:

  1. Light weight
  2. Free flowing ink
  3. Not prone to smudging

I’m not saying that I would never use a Pilot G-2, but my favorite pen is Precise V5 Rolling Ball Extra Fine. And I’m not alone. Even though I’ve had harsh things to say about him, Chris Hayes is a very smart young man. Need more proof? Check out his pen!

<%image(20120714-chrishayespen.jpg|334|229|Chris Hayes' Pen)%>

America the Out of Tune

Rich Uncle PennybagsIt has been hard to listen to Mitt Romney sing. Certainly, the fact that I am not tone deaf has something to do with this. But this is not the main reason. It is my intense feelings of pena ajena—the Mexican Spanish phrase for the embarrassment you feel watching someone else’s humiliation.

But now I am seeing Mitt Romney’s singing—in fact, his whole campaign—in a whole new light.

I can’t be the only person who has thought that maybe Romney is working for the Obama campaign. A lot of things start making sense under this theory. Why would Romney explicitly run as Rich Uncle Pennybags from the Monopoly game in the middle of a depression caused by evil financiers? Why would his staff repeatedly and publicly explain their disingenuous strategy? Why would he publicly embarrass himself by singing the words of America the Beautiful to the tune of a bad 12 tone composition? Because he’s working for Obama!

Need more evidence? Check out this latest Obama campaign ad:

I can see the memo:

To: Mitt Romney
From: Jim Messina (but not the one who was in Buffalo Springfield)

Mitt-

We have this great idea for an ad, and we need a bit from you. Could you go all over the country singing “America the Beautiful”? We want you to really butcher the song. Dave tells me you’re a horrible singer (something about “Copacabana” karaoke?), so I’m sure you’ll do a good (i.e. bad) job. If you can, do the whole lounge lizard thing of asking the audience to sing along. That’d be a hoot!

Thanks Mitt. You’re a true patriot.

-Jim

And now that song, in the context of that campaign ad, is true art. Sing it, Mitt!

Comcast Update

Yesterday afternoon I sent my letter of complaint (see below) to Brian Roberts, Comcast’s CEO. I was actually a bit surprised to receive the following response that evening:

Good afternoon Ms. English,
Thanks for your email to Brian Roberts regarding your unpleasant experience with us. We sincerely apologize and will gladly assist.
Can you please forward your address, city, state, zip code and a telephone # best to reach you?
We appreciate you taking time to share your experience. We strive to deliver a superior experience to our customers every day.
We look forward to your response and the opportunity to resolve.
Sincerely,

Cynthia Asbury
National Customer Operations
Executive Office
One Comcast Center
1700 JFK Blvd 4th Fl
Phila, Pa. 19103

I did respond and I’m very curious how far they will go to in any attempt to placate me. I hope it’s with cash.

Eat the Bankers

Eat the BankersNaomi Klein’s The Shock Doctrine is one of the most important books I’ve ever read. But at over 700 pages, I have had a hard time convincing many people to read it. So I was pleased to see that Michael Winterbottom and Mat Whitecross had produced a documentary based on the book called (Surprise!) The Shock Doctrine.

Without the book for comparison, the documentary is really good. It reminds me of the many documentaries I saw when I was 17 or 18. Those films opened up my eyes to the way the world really was as opposed to the happy horseshit propaganda that came from the TV and classroom. So for those without the time or inclination to read the book, The Shock Doctrine is really worth watching.

The film of course, is a pale shadow of the book. One of the things that makes the book so great is the detail with which Klein tells the story—especially the story of Chile and Augusto Pinochet. So one more time: you should really read this book if you haven’t. And if you have read it, it is worth reading again, but I give you permission to skip Part 1.

My one criticism of the film is that it manages to have a happy ending, with lots of shots of Obama, since he had just become President when this film was made. Klein encourages people to organize and force Obama to do the right things. But after the OWS movement, I’m not sure I can believe that any amount of arm twisting would make the modern Democratic Party abandon their upper class base. Again, this is not a recommendation of the Republican Party. The Democrats are the party of the upper 10%; the Republicans are the party of the upper 0.01%. But in the long term, we’re going to have to replace the Democratic Party with something better.

Are you still sitting there? Why aren’t you out organizing!? If you need some encouragement, watch The Shock Doctrine.


Here is a lecture about the book by Naomi Klein:

Comcast is My Only Option

I hope that this is the correct email for Comcast CEO, Brian Roberts—if you are simply a person who happens to have the same name, I apologize for the intrusion.

Mr Roberts:

If this is the correct address, and if Mr Roberts actually reads it, I want to let him know that, if I had any other option for an internet and phone provider, I would switch immediately.

My complaints with Comcast?

Exploitive Billing Practices: Charging users outrageously high fees for services that are completely automated is just wrong. We have been paying over $100 a month for phone and internet. Our only landline is for a fax machine that we use about three times a year and, according to the information about my account on the Comcast site, we are using only 7% (!) of our allotted bandwidth. Meanwhile, when the cable is out and we have no internet service, we are not even credited for the interrupted service.

Outsourcing Jobs: Outsourcing “customer care” to India and taking work away from Americans, all the while making it more difficult for customers to get the assistance they need shows an egregious lack of consideration for your customers. The phone bank in India is probably saving you an amazing amount of money, but for the consumer it is beyond frustrating. Between the representatives’ sometimes difficult to understand accents, the background chatter, and the length of time it takes to make one’s situation understood, a mildly irritated customer can easily end up furious.

Making it Right: I called customer service hoping to find out why our bill was so high and fluctuating. Once the woman on the other end understood the issue, she graciously gave us a $10 a month disgruntled customer discount. First, however, she had to read to me an offer that would given us our current services PLUS television—YAY! This was after I had just explained to her that we don’t watch television and don’t even have a TV!

I feel sorry for your customer service reps—they must get screamed at all day. It’s not their fault, it’s yours.

Andrea English
New Jersey, USA

I Remember…

I’m no big fan of the Democratic Party, but this November I don’t see how any thinking person can not support them. And if I were to dream: Obama reelected with a Democratic Congress might do some very good things—things they could have done in 2009 if they hadn’t been too chickenshit to get rid of the filibuster.

This is a fabulous video:

And this is a fabulous bumper sticker:

Republican Bumper Sticker - Designed by A. L. English

Stupid Petulant Schoolgirl

Elisabeth HasselbeckDid you know that on average, blondes are more intelligent than brunettes? And yet, we think of blondes as being stupid. I don’t know how this started, but I know a big factor in perpetuating this myth: blonde conservative female pundits.

Now, I’m not thinking about people like Gretchen Carlson. I don’t know why, but she’s just the wrong type. I’m talking more people like Laura Ingraham and Ann Coulter. But again, that’s not quite right because they are smart, just horribly, horribly (Is two enough?) evil. Really the best example is Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who not only plays the conservative on The View but also the stupid, petulant schoolgirl.

The clip below is not new, even to me. But I just came upon it again and I was blown away. It is an appearance of Bill Maher on The View last November. Almost the entire segment is taken up with Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s insolent questions to and statements toward Maher. It is amusing to watch the other hosts of the show’s embarrassed attempts to get Hasselbeck to stop her clearly unacceptable behavior. Just to be clear: it isn’t her attacks on Maher, it is the childish way that she does it and continues to do it long after the subject has been changed.

I’ve found a lot of people avoid watching the videos that I embed. I understand that it is hard to compete with my brilliant insights, but I only embed things that I think are really worth watching. In most cases I try to only embed short things; one video I posted and embedded was only 7 seconds long! But this one is kind of long: 9:04. Still, it is worth it:

And people say Bill Maher is a dick!

Anyway, if I were a woman or blonde, I would be embarrassed by Hasselbeck. Of course, I’m constantly embarrassed by my own sex. I guess we all just get used to it.

Update (9:54 pm)

YouTube is very addictive. I’ve watched a lot of great stuff, but this one I had to share. The poster titled it “Phil Donahue kicks NAZI Bill O’Reilly’s ass on the Factor” and that does nicely sum it up. What is most interesting about it is that this isn’t like when Jon Stewart is on Billo’s show. It is like a fist fight, but O’Reilly is in a much lighter class than Donahue. By the end it is clear that Billo is scared. And what I most like is at the end, Donahue doesn’t offer some glib, “It was good being on your show.” Donahue clearly hates O’Reilly.

But if you wonder who watches The Factor, copy the following link into your browser:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1489146/posts

You might as well be reading Martian; I don’t have a clue what makes these people tick.

Temp Employment Not Up

Regulatory UncertaintyOn Tuesday, I wrote about how we all are job creators when we buy anything and that because the poor spend all of their money just to get by, they are better job creators than the rich: A Million Poor Job Creators. In that article, I discussed this ridiculous idea that conservatives love to throw around that regulatory uncertainty is what stops companies from hiring: “And it is certainly not the case that an employer worries about the cost of an employee one or two or three years from now. If the employee is no longer a profitable investment, the employer will just lay him off.”

Dean Baker, one of the most astute observers of the economy, wrote an article today about the defense industry’s media lobbying efforts that imply that cuts to military spending will be worse than cuts in other government programs. In fact, they would be better because defense contracting is more capital intensive and thus creates fewer jobs per dollar spent. But he ended the article talking about the uncertainty claim of the free marketeers:

If uncertainty were affecting employment we should expect a sharp rise in the ratio of new temp workers to new workers overall. We don’t see this.

Of course, I’m not suggesting that facts will get in the way of a good business lobby meme. But you might want to remember it the next time some idiot trots out the “Businesses aren’t hiring because of uncertainty!” madness.


Jan Eberly has a really good and thorough discussion of this over at the Department of Treasury. If you are interested in this stuff, I recommend checking it out.

Give a Murderer His Due

The Expert at the Card TableBack in 1902, the most important magic book ever was written. (This is debatable, but it’s what I think.) It was self-published with the title “Artifice, Ruse and Subterfuge At the Card Table” by a man identified as S. W. Erdnase. It is now known as The Expert at the Card Table and is said to have been a bible to many magicians, most notably Dai Vernon. And no one knew who wrote it.

There was, however, a hint in the author’s name. If you reverse it, the name reads E. S. Andrews—a much more recognizable last name than Erdnase. And in the late 1940s, the mathematics writer Martin Gardner determined that the writer was one Milton Franklin Andrews. This man was already quite famous for something else.

Around the turn of the 19th century, Andrews was a globe trotting poker cheat—perhaps the best of his day. In 1905, three years after the publication of his magnum opus, he and his girlfriend tried to kill and rob one of his disreputable colleagues in Berkeley, California. Andrews and the girl fled to San Francisco to hide out. In the mean time, the SFPD determined that Andrews was wanted in the murders of three other people in different cities across America. Eventually, the police located Andrews, who killed his girlfriend and then himself.

Or not. It is possible that Andrews was innocent of these murders. It is even more possible that the police killed Andrews and his girlfriend. But there is no doubt that Andrews was not what we normally consider a “good guy.” But it is ever so much more pleasant to image him as a lovable rogue who was wronged by law enforcement, rather than a serial murderer. One thing cannot be taken away from Andrews, however: his great accomplishment in writing his book. Or so it would seem.

In the foreword to the Dover Edition of The Expert at the Card Table, Martin Gardner tries to take away this accomplishment from Andrews—at least partly. He writes:

Although there no longer is any doubt that Milton Andrews was the author of The Expert at the Card Table, a great mystery still remains. Andrews never went to college, and a lengthy letter he sent to the San Francisco Examiner, offering to surrend to the police if they would meet certain conditions, makes clear that he could not have achieved the polished prose in which this book is written.

I found this paragraph so upsetting that I had to get the book, The Man Who Was Erdnase by Barton Whaley with Gardner and Jeff Busby. I knew that even though I am a decent enough writer, if I were hand scrawling a letter to the police while worried about my life, my skills as a writer might disintegrate.

Yesterday, I got the book. At over 400 pages, is quite an act of research. It is, unfortunately, not well written—ironically, showing all the signs of lacking any editor, much less a good one. And it includes the entire 18 (?) page letter in an Appendix. Here is just a taste of it:

The first crime I am charged with is the murder of Bessie Bouton, with whom I traveled as man and wife. The police said they found that she was a traveling saleslady from Syracuse, N.Y., and her folks told the police she represented J. Parker Pray & Co. of New York. As I had been living with her, they say I am the murderer. Now, to protect myself, I am compelled to give her history.

This is certainly not the writing of an idiot or ignoramus. It is also worth noting that Andrews wrote his book over a couple of years whereas he was only in hiding for a couple of days. But this is not really the case that Whaley makes in the book. Instead, a kind of deconstructed literary theory is used to sell the idea that Andrews was rewritten (or edited):

While we can’t discount the fact that Andrews’ alibi letters were hurriedly written under pressure, as Gardner pointed out, there is a fair incidence of scholarly words, French and Latinate phrases in the book that do not appear in the alibi letters: cognition, minutia, stoic, curriculum, [bete noire], denouement, talismanic, plebians, Beau-monde, entree, patrician, liege, chicanery, [Machiavellian], commensurate, etc.

It is established in The Man Who Was Erdnase that Andrews hired a professional magician, James Harte, to add patter to the card tricks in Expert at the Card Table. Harte was most famous for his excellent, flowery, Victorian patter. Four of these words are taken from the patter of the very first trick that Erdnase explains (The Exclusive Coterie): “Beau-monde,” “patrician,” “plebians,” and “entree.” That’s 4 out of 15! What’s more, it seems unlikely that anyone in Andrews’ business would not know the word “chicanery.” What’s more, we don’t even have to depend upon the alibi letter, because many people who had met Andrews commented on how well spoken he was.

Perhaps most ridiculous of all: no editor or ghostwriter would change a text in this way. When helping a writer, one always wishes to make the author’s intent as clear as possible. Adding high toned words would tend to make the writing less clear. What’s more, it would explicitly change the author’s style.

The argument seems to be that a regular guy couldn’t have written something as polished as The Expert at the Card Table. But this is nonsense. It could be that Gardner, working most of his life with large publishers, understood how much editors had helped his books. He must have seen that The Man Who Was Erdnase was not turning out to have the kind of polished writing of Gardner’s mainstream books. And so it would have been natural to question whether Andrews could have created the fine writing in his book. But as we’ve seen, Andrews was no regular guy.

Update (12 July 2012 8:30 am)

According to Wikipedia:

Others argue against Andrews being Erdnase because the known examples of his writing are very much inferior to the polished writing of The Expert at the Card Table….

There has been newer evidence in the past twelve years that pretty much puts to rest any assumption that Milton Franklin Andrews was Erdnase. It is obvious that Andrews was a card cheat but that is as far as his connection goes.

After reading The Man Who Was Erdnase, this is very hard to believe. There were a number of people interviewed for the book who knew Andrews when he was writing the book. None of these claims on Wikipedia are referenced. And once again we see this argument that Andrews couldn’t have written it because his alibi letter is not as good as his book.

What the Wikipedia Erdnase pages shows, I think, is the ability of one person with an ax to grind to create a very dishonest page as long as the page is not very popular.

Robert Reich Being All Smart and Shit

Robert Reich is at it again being all smart and right and shit. He says that the Progressives want to pull our country into the future whereas the Regressives (represented by a party that starts with “r” but frankly also a lot of the people in a party that starts with “d”) want to drag the country back to the 19th century. The Regressives have a four point plan to sabotage America:

  1. Make the wealthy even wealthier
  2. Turn Americans against each other
  3. Turn attention away from public morality and toward private morality
  4. Make corporations people and money speech

But don’t listen to me, watch his new video:

I don’t always agree with Reich, he tends to be too much an free marketeer. But he is always worth listening to and he’s absolutely right today.

Of Puppets and Marginal Tax Rates

George the PuppetThe puppet on the left is George. He looks friendly, doesn’t he? Well, he’s not. If you close his mouth, you can see him for the grim misanthrope that he is. But angry though he may be, we still love George for all the joy that he, as a puppet, provides for all the world, even if he would prefer it otherwise. And now for the news.

Remember Joe the Plumber? We all know that he was a liar, but even taken at his word, he would have paid almost no more in taxes. If you raise the top tax bracket from 35% to 39.6%, this will only effect the taxes on the money you make over a quarter million dollars. So if you make $250,001, you will owe 5 cents more, not $11,500! This is what we call a marginal tax.

This morning, Jonathan Chait wrote about how no one seems to understand marginal tax rates:

As Intel Dan has noted, pretty much the entire news media has misreported President Obama’s tax plan because reporters don’t understand how tax brackets work. You know who else doesn’t understand that? Democrats in Congress. Apparently Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner had to break out the hand puppets and head up to Capitol Hill for a quick lesson.

All I can say is that if Geithner really did break out the hand puppets, I’d like him a lot more. And God knows that George would have a few well chosen words for those guys.

Update

Robert Reich has an excellent article on this subject. Sorry: no puppets.