America the Out of Tune

Rich Uncle PennybagsIt has been hard to listen to Mitt Romney sing. Certainly, the fact that I am not tone deaf has something to do with this. But this is not the main reason. It is my intense feelings of pena ajena—the Mexican Spanish phrase for the embarrassment you feel watching someone else’s humiliation.

But now I am seeing Mitt Romney’s singing—in fact, his whole campaign—in a whole new light.

I can’t be the only person who has thought that maybe Romney is working for the Obama campaign. A lot of things start making sense under this theory. Why would Romney explicitly run as Rich Uncle Pennybags from the Monopoly game in the middle of a depression caused by evil financiers? Why would his staff repeatedly and publicly explain their disingenuous strategy? Why would he publicly embarrass himself by singing the words of America the Beautiful to the tune of a bad 12 tone composition? Because he’s working for Obama!

Need more evidence? Check out this latest Obama campaign ad:

I can see the memo:

To: Mitt Romney
From: Jim Messina (but not the one who was in Buffalo Springfield)

Mitt-

We have this great idea for an ad, and we need a bit from you. Could you go all over the country singing “America the Beautiful”? We want you to really butcher the song. Dave tells me you’re a horrible singer (something about “Copacabana” karaoke?), so I’m sure you’ll do a good (i.e. bad) job. If you can, do the whole lounge lizard thing of asking the audience to sing along. That’d be a hoot!

Thanks Mitt. You’re a true patriot.

-Jim

And now that song, in the context of that campaign ad, is true art. Sing it, Mitt!

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About Frank Moraes

Frank Moraes is a freelance writer and editor online and in print. He is educated as a scientist with a PhD in Atmospheric Physics. He has worked in climate science, remote sensing, throughout the computer industry, and as a college physics instructor. Find out more at About Frank Moraes.

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