DNC on Donald Trump 2016 Announcement

Donald TrumpWith Donald Trump’s announcement that he is running for president, DNC National Press Secretary Holly Shulman released the following statement:

“Today, Donald Trump became the second major Republican candidate to announce for president in two days. He adds some much-needed seriousness that has previously been lacking from the GOP field, and we look forward [to] hearing more about his ideas for the nation.”

—Democratic National Committee
DNC: Donald Trump “Adds Some Much-Needed Seriousness … Lacking From the GOP Field”

Brilliant Onion Video Explains Copyright Dysfunction

CopyrightI think people are often confused as to exactly what I am talking about with regard to intellectual property (IP) laws and how they are out of control. They also often think that it is strange that someone who actually makes (very little) money from royalties would feel this way. On a personal level, it is just because the IP laws are not set up for creative workers; they are set up to ensure corporate profits. And there are far better ways to encourage creative work besides copyrights and patents. One is Dean Baker’s idea for Artist Freedom Vouchers.

But rather than get into such details, I’d like to share with you a two and a half minute video. The Onion produced it, How To Successfully Sue Other Moms Who Steal Your Parenting Tricks. It is part of a series by a character, Grace Manning-Devlin. She is a vblogger who produces a show called, “Mothers Should.” In it, she provides parenting advice to other upper class mothers. Perhaps the best is, Baby-Naming Tips For New Moms. In it, she explains that the hottest trend in baby naming is, “Naming your baby after jobs that no longer exist.” For boys, these include names like, “Cooper, Tanner, Milkman, Serf…” And for girls, “Lector, Bluestocking, and Town-Hag.” She also recommends names from the Bible, like “Daniel” and “Shan’t.”

The video on copyright and patents gets the tone completely right. Check it out:

I’m not a parent, so I probably don’t get all the jokes here. But the main thing seems to be that she is copyrighting trivial things. But even more than that, she’s copyrighting things that clearly didn’t originate with her like the smiley face bubble bath. This is quite common. The most infamous example is the song, Happy Birthday to You. The song dates back to the mid-19th century. But some company got the idea of copyrighting it in 1935, and people have been paying for it ever since.

The video also highlights the use of legal harassment by copyright holders. That gets back to “Happy Birthday to You.” In most cases, it isn’t worth the expense to to fight against frivolous IP claims; it’s cheaper just to pay. So when Manning-Devlin was in Whole Foods (Of course!) and saw another woman using the copyrighted “craisens tip,” she gets her lawyer to send out a cease and desist letter. This is standard behavior in the corporate world. Apple computer has been doing this with “look and feel” lawsuits for 25 years, despite the fact that Apple also “stole” the same ideas from people before them.

Also really interesting is how parents are supposed to gain access to all these exciting parenting tips. For $24.99 per month, mothers can use up to 20 of Manning-Devlin’s “hottest tips.” This is similar to software and videos, which are never sold but rather licensed. (It makes you wonder: how did she know the Whole Foods woman wasn’t a subscriber?) But even more funny is “Grace’s Public Domain Tricks,” which are, like all of her ideas, things that were already around, but have clearly been around a lot longer. For example, there is the “Easy Couch Fort.” I’m sure these public domain ideas she’s claimed and “given back” are being written off as lost revenue.

The argument in favor of IP laws has always been that it encourages creative work. But it is clear at this point that they do just the opposite. No one, for example, can write a Harry Potter novel without licensing it (which means no one will be allowed to except for JK Rowling). But if that weren’t the case, I’m sure that other people would have written Harry Potter novels that were as good or better than the original ones. I don’t begrudge Rowling her money — in fact, she seems like a thoroughly decent person. But she didn’t write those books because she thought she would become a billionaire. I have little doubt she would have been thrilled with the thought of simply making a living as a writer.

So none of this stuff is about what creative workers do. What’s funny about The Onion video is that the (supposed) creative worker is acting the way that the corporatocracy does. Remember: “An idea is like a seed: it can only turn into a tree if you kill all the birds trying to eat it.”

Afterword

One thing that I really liked in the video was the use of jump cuts which are so vblog. I find it annoying. These people can buy nice cameras, lighting, and editing software. But to shoot with an extra camera or otherwise provide cutaways is asking too much. But note: I’m not against jump cuts. But if someone is going to the trouble of making something look professional, why not do that? It’s all about time, of course. It is easy to automate all the rest. Proper editing takes time. And talent.


See also: Copyright: Forever Less One Day.

Rosencrantz on Life and Death in a Box

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are DeadDo you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it? … It’s silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box, one keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead… which should make all the difference… shouldn’t it? I mean, you’d never know you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I’d like to sleep in a box, mind you, not without any air — you’d wake up dead, for a start, and then where would you be? Apart from inside a box. That’s why I don’t think of it… Because you’d be helpless, wouldn’t you? Stuffed in a box like that, I mean you’d be in there forever. Even taking into account the fact that you’re dead, it isn’t a pleasant thought. Especially if you’re dead, really… ask yourself, if I asked you straight off — I’m going to stuff you in this box now, would you rather be alive or dead? Naturally, you’d prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all. I expect. You’d have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking — well, at least I’m not dead! In a minute someone’s going to bang on the lid and tell me to come out. “Hey you, whatsyername! Come out of there!” … I wouldn’t think about it, if I were you. You’d only get depressed. Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where’s it going to end?

—Tom Stoppard
Rosencrantz in Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead

Matryoshka Doll Ultrasound

Matryoshka Doll Ultrasound

I found this cartoon over at The Incidental Economist, Matryoshka Ultrasound. Austin Frakt over there loves this kind of thing. He has a good sense of humor. And this is clever. We have a Matryoshka — Russian nesting doll — getting an ultrasound and it is creating an infinite regression. It’s charming. But it bugs me.

Unlike most people, I’ve had a lot of ultrasounds. I wasn’t pregnant. They were of my heart. And they were painful, because for whatever reason, the tech seemed to think that it was necessary to push down with all her strength — despite the fact that I weighted just 100 pounds and there was basically no flesh to push through. So I’ve been in the position of that doll — looking at the screen and seeing what was bouncing off my innards.

Given this experience, perhaps you can forgive my pedantry. Or just cluelessness. I don’t really know. Maybe I’m missing something. But I think it is more likely that I’m over-thinking it. So here goes: there would not be an infinite regression. There is no doctor doing an ultrasound on the doll inside her. And even if there were, he wouldn’t be in that position, because there isn’t enough space!

Yes, yes, yes: pedant! But I could go further. I could note that an ultrasound does not provide a picture of your entire insides. Look at the size of that device! And we are talking about the entire inside of her. That’s the thing about the Matryoshka doll: they fit tightly together. If they didn’t, then it would be just a doll with a bunch of crap in it. Also: isn’t this very wasteful in a world of limited healthcare resources? Couldn’t the doctor just have asked any 5-year-old girl what was inside of this doll? Also: Matryoshka dolls are generally the same shape but not the same decorations. Ha! Answer that, cartoonist! (It’s by the brilliant cartoonist at The New Yorker Paul Noth.)

But here’s what I think is really interesting: if the cartoon were done “right,” it would still be funny. It would consist of only the doll on the screen. But that’s still funny. What does she have inside of her? A smaller version of herself. I get that the cartoonist wants to get across the idea that there are many versions of her inside her. But it just doesn’t seem worth the bother of putting a doctor outside ever doll. Yeah, yeah, yeah: universes inside universes — that pug in Men in Black. But that’s not what Matryoshka dolls are!

Afterword

It bothered me when I was a kid that the Matryoshka dolls didn’t regress forever. My mathematical sensibilities made me want to see an endless number of dolls. I wasn’t happy with the practical limits of the toy.

Warning America: Cubist Boobs! Cubist Boobs!

Les Femmes d'Alger (Version 'O') - Pablo Picasso - Blurred

When WNYW, the New York Fox (Not Fox News, people!) affiliate did a story on the ridiculous $179.4 million auction price for Pablo Picasso’s Les Femmes d’Alger (Version “O”), they blurred out the breasts. It makes sense. Those cubist breasts might poison the minds of cubist children living in the greater New York area.

For the record: Pablo Picasso was a horrible human being and likely the most overrated artist of all time. And I am especially underwhelmed by this painting. So the fact that some rich idiot paid that much for the painting really says something. Imagine how many truly great pieces of art this idiot could have bought for this amount of money. But I’m sure that the purchaser (who is unknown) cares more about the price paid than the art acquired.

Les Femmes d’Alger was a series of fifteen paintings that Picasso did in the mid-1950s — long after his best days. The series is based upon a painting by the great French master Eugène Delacroix’s Femmes d’Alger Dans Leur Appartement. It is a fantastic work. Now it should maybe be blurred out. It features concubines with a hookah — most likely used for opium to make life bearable. But more than that, just check out the beautiful design elements of the piece:

Femmes d'Alger Dans Leur Appartement - Eugène Delacroix

This masterpiece is currently at the Louvre. But I assume that if it came up at auction, it would not fetch anything close to $180 million. All the most expensive paintings are modern or post-impressionist (except for Salvator Mundi, which might have been painted by Leonardo da Vinci). There’s a reason why we call them the useless rich. What wastes of space they are! How entirely predictable and banal.

But I’m sure you want to see Picasso’s cubist breasts, so here they are:

Les Femmes d'Alger (Version 'O') - Pablo Picasso

Meh.

Anniversary Post: State of Minnesota

Minnesota SealOn this day in 1858, Minnesota became the 32nd state in the Union — squeezed right between two of my favorite states: California and Oregon. The Dakotas would not become states until much later — largely owing to the fact that no one wanted them. Even today, the official motto of North Dakota is, “Keep the hydrocarbons, leave the land.” But we don’t feel this way about Minnesota. Minnesota is an official Good State™ right up there with the good parts of California (northern) and Oregon (Portland). So rather than provide a history of the state and explain why it is surrounded by the wackos in the Dakotas on the west and Scott Walker on the east and yet doesn’t stink, I will just provide a random list of good things about Minnesota.

  • Unemployment Rate: 3.7%
  • World’s largest zombie walk
  • Al Franken
  • Scotch Tape / Post-It Notes
  • F Scott Fitzgerald
  • Hamm’s Brewery
  • Hubert Humphrey
  • Bob Dylan
  • Garrison Keillor
  • Anne Tyler
  • Walker Art Center
  • Izzy’s Ice Cream
  • Lipps Inc. I think this song is about Saint Paul:
  • Robert Bly
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000
  • Alec Soth
  • Mall of America as ultimate terrorist target
  • Prince
  • Walter Mondale
  • Coen Brothers
  • Mayo Clinic
  • Old Log Theater
  • Judy Garland

Happy birthday Minnesota!

Happy Mother’s Day

Weirdo at CemeteryST. MARYS, OH—Apparently content to hang around dead people rather than celebrate like a normal person, area weirdo John Mills spent most of Mother’s Day at a local cemetery, creeped-out sources confirmed. “This is your mom’s special day, and you’re supposed to be taking her to brunch or a spa, not staring at some tombstone,” reported the sources, adding that lurking in a graveyard like some sort of ghoul may in fact be the very worst way to honor the woman who gave you life. “Is it too hard to do something nice for your mother just once a year? Then again, with that miserable look on his face, I bet his mom’s happy he forgot all about her.” At press time, sources reported that the freak had tossed some flowers on the ground that would’ve looked so much nicer in a vase in his mother’s home.

The Onion Staff
Total Weirdo Spends Mother’s Day at Cemetery

Accidental Scientific Discoveries

Monty Python's Flying Circus Disc 12Penguins. Yes, penguins. What relevance do penguins have to the furtherance of medical science? Well, strangely enough, quite a lot — a major breakthrough maybe. It was from such an unlikely beginning as an unwanted fungus accidentally growing on a sterile plate that Sir Alexander Fleming gave the world penicillin. James Watt watched an ordinary household kettle boiling and conceived the potentiality of steam power. Would Albert Einstein ever have hit upon the theory of relativity if he hadn’t been clever? All of these tremendous leaps forward have been taken in the dark. Would Rutherford ever have split the atom if he hadn’t tried? Could Marconi have invented the radio if he hadn’t, by pure chance, spent years working at the problem? Are these amazing breakthroughs ever achieved except by years and years of unremitting study? Of course not. What I said earlier about accidental discoveries must have been wrong. Nevertheless, scientists believe that these penguins — these comic, flightless, web-footed little bastards — may finally, unwittingly help man to fathom the uncharted depths of the human mind.

Monty Python’s Flying Circus
“A Book at Bedtime”

Apology for Portrayal of Politicians

Monty Python's Flying Circus - DVD 10We would like to apologize for the way in which politicians are represented in this program. It was never our intention to imply that politicians are weak-kneed political time-servers who are concerned more with their personal vendettas and private power struggles than the problems of government, nor to suggest at any point that they sacrifice their credibility by denying free debate on vital matters in the mistaken impression that party unity comes before the well-being of the people they supposedly represent, nor to imply at any stage that they are squabbling little toadies without an ounce of concern for the vital social problems of today. Nor indeed do we intend viewers should consider them as crabby ulcerous little self seeking vermin with furry legs and an excessive addiction to alcohol and certain explicit sexual practices which some people might find offensive.

We are sorry if this impression has come across.

Monty Python’s Flying Circus
The War Against Pornography

Anniversary Post: Daffy Duck

Daffy DuckOn this day in 1937, the first appearance of Daffy Duck was made in the Looney Tunes short, “Porky’s Duck Hunt.” In those early shorts, Daffy is a much more likable character. He’s kind of like Bugs Bunny, but absolutely insane. He’s also a lot more like a real duck. I find him quite charming. And this sets up a long collaboration with Porky Pig. Although in subsequent shorts they are more friends or, as was more true later on, Daffy was often trying to con the trusting Porky. My favorite is “Fool Coverage” where Daffy sells Porky accident insurance that will pay a million dollars, “Provided the accident occurs as the result of a stampede of wild elephants in your own living room, on the Fourth of July — of any year — between the hours of 3:55 and 4:00 pm, during a hailstorm.” Which of course is exactly what happens.

Anyway, here is the short that started it all:

There is a middle period where Daffy is still kind of duck like, and still mostly insane. “Yankee Doodle Daffy” is a good example of it:

Later, the portrayal of Daffy Duck turned very meta — with Daffy constantly jealous of Bugs Bunny. These are still quite good, but I don’t really like the two characters being pitted against each other. It doesn’t show either of them in the best light. My favorite later Daffy Duck cartoon is “Duck Amuck” where he is all alone. Or is he?

Happy birthday Daffy Duck!

See Also

Joe Miller Joke Book
Bugs: Rabbit or Hare? (One of my favorite articles!)

Is Paul Krugman the Thumb of Bad Economics?

Paul KrugmanThis is funny. Moisés Naím over at The Atlantic wrote, Economists Still Think Economics Is the Best. It is about a new paper in the Journal of Economic Perspectives (JEP), The Superiority of Economists. It seems that economists think very highly of themselves. They think they are the most “scientific” of the social sciences and they tend not to reference other social sciences in their academic work. Even worse, the disciplines that they do tend to align closely with are really not good: finance and business.

None of this should come as a surprise. Dean Baker has spent the last two decades pointing out what gas bags economists are. That’s one of the reasons he’s my favorite economist. But in the Naím article, the picture that went along with it was a smiling Paul Krugman. He was not pleased and responded with a brief post, I Am Not a Generic Economist. He pointed out that he had written favorably about the JEP paper, “I guess I hope that these things are outliers. But if you feel cynical about economics after reading Fourcade, you may be right.” He asked, “So how, exactly, do I become the face of bad economics here?”

Here is the Face of Bad Economics:

Face of Bad Economics: Paul Krugman

Well, I guess someone noticed that Krugman was a bit angry. Or maybe they noticed that Krugman is not even mentioned in the article. So today, they changed the image in a way that will doubtless please the Nobel Prize winning economist. Now the article not only doesn’t have his face — it doesn’t have anyone’s face. Now it has thumbs:

The Thumbs of Bad Economics

That looks like an image taken at the stock exchange. But could one of those thumbs be Paul Krugman’s? We’ll probably never know. I doubt he cares if The Atlantic wants to make him the thumb of bad economics.


Original image taken from Archive.org.

Shocker! Hillary Clinton Is Running for President!

Hillary Clinton LaughingThis morning, The New York Times sent me a news update, Breaking News: Hillary Clinton Will Run for President in 2016, Top Aide Says. This is why I subscribe to their updates. I don’t want to miss out on anything. I would hate to be hanging out in the lunch room at work and muse aloud, “I wonder with Hillary Clinton will run for president.” Only to have a coworker embarrass me, “You haven’t heard? Hillary Clinton is running for president!” Boy would my face be red.

Since I got that update from The New York Times, I’ve been waiting for other breaking news. Really, at this point, it could be anything:

  • Hillary Clinton Married to Former President, Top Aide Says
  • Hillary Clinton Unlikely to Change Hair Color in 2016, Top Aide Says
  • Hillary Clinton Recently Became Grandmother, Top Aide Says
  • Hillary Clinton Will Not Be Contestant on Dancing With the Stars in 2016, Top Aide Says
  • Hillary Clinton Not Controlled by Reptilian Extraterrestrial, Top Aide Says

Actually, that last one might qualify as news. I’ve been intrigued this last week that there was the announcement that Hillary Clinton would announce her candidacy for president. And so there was lots of “news” about her upcoming announcement, as if it were, you know, news. And now that she has officially announced her candidacy, there will be lots of news about that. I know it won’t happen, but it would make sense if next week we got the headline:

Hillary Clinton Still Running for President in 2016, Top Aide Says

I have nothing especially against Hillary Clinton. If it comes to it, I will vote for her. But with Clinton, Cruz, and Paul, this is really not news. They have all been running for president for some time. So a formal announcement ought to be treated as such. This isn’t earth shattering. It is along the lines of a business that has been a sole proprietorship is changing into an S corporation. That’s how big this news is: not big.

Now her campaign put out this very nice video announcing her candidacy. And I am not nearly cynical enough to not like it. It’s good. And it is a hell of a lot better than Ted Cruz’s staged speech where he wanted us to all imagine a world in which fifty years of social progress was washed away.

Just the same, I am cynical enough to think that The Onion nailed her candidacy better than her campaign or the mainstream media ever will:

  • Campaign Slogan: “I deserve this”
  • Campaign Strategy: Overwhelming tide of inevitability
  • Spouse: Former Arkansas attorney general William Jefferson Clinton
  • Wingspan: 7 feet, 6 inches
  • Ideal Running Mate: Primary opponent who knows how to gracefully step aside when the time comes
  • Biggest Scandals: Deaths of four Americans at Benghazi, use of private email account for government messages, choice of Nina McLemore dress at a 1998 presidential function
  • Grandchildren: One, but pushing Chelsea for one more before Iowa caucus
  • Stance On Abortion: Supports a woman’s right to choose for her husband’s mistress
  • Birthplace: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming
  • Number Of Times Teeth Gritted To Date: 489,346
  • Things She Personally Understands As A Grandmother: Hope, faith, future, education, children, all that crap
  • Greatest Fear: Charismatic young senators from the Midwest
  • Number Of Big Macs That Fit In Mouth At One Time: 2
  • Biggest Challenge: Not completely blowing it

My hope is that if she completely blows this, she will do it soon. But if she does, the media will probably miss it because they are busy covering Jeb Bush’s announcement.