Category Archives: Fun? Maybe? Fun?

More Idiocy from the Deer Lady

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Kathleen O'Brien WilhelmI’ve been away visiting family, so it has been hard keeping up with my usual reading. And now I feel really behind. I started to panic, “What am I going to write about?” And then I had a thought, “What about the deer lady?” By that, I mean, Kathleen O’Brien Wilhelm, the woman who thought that deer signs were a waste of money for the obvious reasons that (1) deer can’t read and (2) deer have no inclination to follow the law. Now, the tea party idiot has her very own blog over at the Avon-AvonLake Post. And truly: Wilhelm is the gift that keeps on giving.

Her most recent blog post (almost a month old, because gems like “deer can’t read” don’t grow on trees) is about… I don’t know! It has no title. And it really isn’t about anything except her contention that all Democrats are liars. Her ignorance is staggering. It reminds me of when I was a kid. My father would tell me things. I would repeat them to my friends, only to find out that what he told me was either a huge exaggeration or far more complicated than I had been led to believe. Over time, this caused me to be cautious—especially about things that seem outrageous. Wilhelm never learned that lession.

As usual, she starts out with her contention that America has gone crazy:

What’s happening to America? It was bad enough we had a US President Clinton who lied about having sex with an intern, and VP Al Gore who lied about global warming. Gore made billions off of the stupidity of others.

Delicious, right? I’ll grant that Clinton lied about his creepy sex life. I don’t see what this has to do with with America. But okay. Then she says without the slightest of evidence that Gore lied about global warming. And that he made billions?! Al Gore’s net worth is only $300 million. So clearly, he has not made “billions.” This goes right along with an argument I have heard a frustrating number of times from conservatives: Al Gore invented global warming so he could make money. Not only do these people think that this is all about Al Gore, they seem to forget that in 2011 alone, ExxonMobile made a net profit of $41 billion. That’s one company. Yet people like Wilhelm think the oil companies are the honest brokers when it comes to global warming; scientists making $50,000 per year are just doing it for the money.

But she’s just getting started:

Now, we have Obama who continues to lie and work to tear our US Constitution into bits and pieces.

I don’t doubt that Obama lies and craps all over the Constitution as much as any president. But it isn’t clear what she’s talking about. Of course, it never is. Wilhelm basically just structures conservative talking points in paragraph form. But notice the switch: She goes from Clinton to Gore to Obama. What’s missing? Oh! That’s right: that paragon of truthfulness George W. Bush!

It’s amazing how Obama focuses on convenient details, but denies focus on murders and gun running/Fast and Furious, murders in Benghazi, bullying taxpayers by the Internal Revenue Service/IRS and picking on the news media.

Again: I don’t know what details she’s talking about. Clearly, she is referring to the recent scandals. But other than listing them, she adds absolutely nothing. But she does muddy the waters. What “Fast and Furious” murders? No one says Obama was responsible for the murders in Benghazi. The IRS scandal, even in late May was clearly not about Obama. And the NSA scandal is not really about the media, and regardless, she would have been fine with it under Bush. (Just saying.)

Why isn’t America screaming? Isn’t anyone paying attention to the lies, thugs, thieves that is government?

Government is beating America to a bloody pulp and it appears there are only a few fighting

A lot of us are screaming about the NSA scandal. But Wilhelm seems only interested in that scandal in as far as it affects Fox News reporter James Rosen. There is nothing to the other scandals, which she would know if she got her news from anything but the most partisan sources.

Kathleen O’Brien Wilhelm is a good example of what is wrong with our political system. Most of those who are interested in politics get their information from the conservative media freak show. At one time, the left had the same thing, but those days are all over. Now, it is pretty much only on the right. And things are so screwed up that people like Wilhelm think that they are safe publicly spouting their shockingly ignorant opinions. And it is done on a very popular website.

In Which I Stare at a Woman’s Breasts

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Sonoma County Democratic PartySo I decided to finally get off my duff and go check out the local Democratic Party that meets just around the corner from me. And they were a nice group—lively and friendly. Afterwards, I was talking to a guy and he explained how it all worked. I told him that I wasn’t very interested in voting inside the party apparatus and all that stuff; I just wanted to help out. I mentioned that I was a copy editor and that I thought my skills might be helpful to people in the group. He directed me to a woman who was something like the head of communications.

I went up to her and told her my sad tale: I was not really the representative kind of person but that I was a copy editor and maybe I could help out. Now, this was a pretty young woman who was clearly smart and also friendly. You know: exactly the kind of woman who drives me crazy. It isn’t sexual. I’m old. But old habits die hard and I immediately lapsed into my best impression of myself at 17. So I wanted to get out of there. I was a nervous wreck anyway. If I can avoid it, I don’t leave the house. I don’t like wide open spaces with people I don’t know. And I sure don’t like big meetings with people in close contact. Thus, almost from the first sentence, I was fighting my very strong and rational desire to run away.

As usual when I’m insecure, I look at a persons eyes for a while and then I look at the ground. Wash, rinse, repeat. But in this case, every time I looked down, I was looking directly at her breasts. And they were fine breasts. And that did not make things better! “Oh my God,” I thought. “I’m staring at her breasts!” So I looked at her eyes. And they too were very fine. But it was too intense, so I looked down. Again at her breasts!

This repeated itself four times at least. Finally, I excused myself and headed for the car. My heart was pounding. I was sweating. I felt like I’d just made it through my first day of kindergarten. The only difference was, I held it together better in kindergarten. I think I will limit my communications with the Democratic Party to email. It’s so much less embarrassing!

Democratic Party: 1; Frank: 0.

Missing Cat/Dog/People Signs

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Lost CatI rarely torture you all with my own poetry but this rhymes! And yes, I know what you’ll say, “It’s bad enough that this is all about death; do you really have to end it by saying that death is a good thing?” Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do. I’m no fan of death, but there are a great many things that are worse than death. For example (and I hate to bring this up because it really bothers me), I would rather die than have my toes cut off one by one with a pair of cutter pliers. The same thing goes for my fingers now that I think about it. And now that you have that image, enjoy the poem!

Hopefully perky
Each sign I saw said
Please bring back my Muffin
But Muffin is dead.

Not all the king’s horses
Nor pharmacy meds
Will bring back poor Muffin
Cause Muffin is dead.

Maybe on a highway
Or under a bed
There aren’t happy endings
Cause Muffin is dead.

Kristin can tell you
When her Muffin fled
And stayed gone for two weeks
Muffin was not dead.

But that’s the exception
Of which you have read
Cause generally speaking
Muffin is dead.

I know that I’m dreary
And filled up with dread
But ration’ly speaking
Poor Muffin is dead.

She could be in much pain
Tortured in a shed
Then isn’t it better
If Muffin is dead?

Ayman al-Zawahiri at TED

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Ayman al-ZawahiriLast week, al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahiri gave a thought provoking talk at TED (sorry, no video yet) about the changing face of global terrorism. In the talk titled “Terror At A Crossroads,” al-Zawahiri discussed how terrorists can remain relevant in an increasingly globalized world. It isn’t hard to see the problem—especially in the United States. When any kid can grab a gun with a pile of high capacity magazines and kill 26 people in five minutes, you have to ask: what is happening to the al-Qaeda brand?

There is also a more fundamental, ontological question: how can the group terrorize if terror becomes the status quo? With daily drone strikes, how are well-planned and executed al-Qaeda attacks going to rise above the background noise of murder and mayhem that is daily life thanks to America’s domestic and international policies? These are all important questions that al-Zawahiri is grappling with.

According to an article in The Onion, al-Zawahiri told the captivated TED audience, “We find ourselves in an ever-evolving, globally connected community that is confronted with numerous societal and economic obstacles every day. The question is, and it’s a difficult one, how can we, as terrorist cells, overcome these roadblocks while staying true to our vision? How do we adapt?”

I for one am glad that the terror community is taking these questions seriously. And I’m not the only one; after the talk, the TED audience gave al-Zawahiri a standing ovation.

Afterword

Last year on this day, many people were confused about my article on the word Seagullible. So I feel the need to ask you a question, “What is the date?!”

The President of Vice

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The President of ViceOne of my very favorite features of The Onion is its portrayal of Joe Biden as a kind of working class lady’s man who has made it big but who still holds on to his working class roots. It’s kind of a high class version of Ronnie Dobbs, the regular character on the Cops like show “Fuzz” on Mr. Show. And I can see how it ought to appeal to both people who love and hate the real Joe Biden. Those who hate him will see it as belittling him. But those like me will see it as an homage: the man really is cool.

Who can’t but love articles like, Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial. Or Biden Receives Lifetime Ban From Dave & Buster’s. Or Biden To Cool His Heels In Mexico For A While.

And you must remember this story from last September, Joe Biden Hitchhikes To Democratic National Convention:

The New York Times reported Monday, Biden Getting an Autobiography From The Onion (Whether He Wants It or Not). It seems that the staff of The Onion are as in love with this Biden character as all of us readers. So they’ve created an e-book, The President of Vice. The foreword of the book apparently opens:

Hombre, you’ve just done Uncle Joe a real solid buying this book. I ain’t the kind of guy who forgets his debts. Next time we meet there’s a tallboy of ice cold Beast on me. And if you’re a lady, I know a few tricks to repay you with interest, if you catch my drift.

At just $2.99, how can you resist? As for me, I was going to buy it, but I decided to pick up A Tale of Two Cities. But let me know if you read it.

Afterword

And here is some of the coolness of the real Joe Biden:

Help Bobby Jindal!

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Bobby JindalBobby Jindal has published an OpEd in Politico today, Cliff Diving. In it, he says, “Today it’s the fiscal cliff, but that surely will not be the end of it; next year it will be the fiscal mountain, after that the fiscal black hole, and after that fiscal Armageddon.” The politics don’t really matter; Jindal is an evil little man—you know, a shining light of the Republican Party! But I don’t know what to make of that jumble of metaphors; it goes way beyond a simple mixed metaphor.

Let’s see now. You fall off a cliff. You climb a mountain. You are pulled into a black hole. And lots of stuff happens to you during Armageddon, but none of them have to do with falling off anything. I admit, the cliff and the black hole are technically the same from a physics standpoint: gravity. But given that Jindal seems to get his science from the Bible I won’t cut him any slack. What’s more, when used as metaphor, they are not the same.

Perhaps we can help out Mr. Jindal. Here are a few alternatives:

  • Today it’s the fiscal Cliff; next year it will be the fiscal Diane, after that the fiscal Sam, and after that fiscal Norm.
  • Today it’s the fiscal cliff; next year it will be the fiscal barranca, after that the fiscal precipice, and after that fiscal scarp.
  • Today it’s the fiscal cliff; next year it will be the fiscal cliff only higher, after that the fiscal cliff even higher than that last one that was higher than the first, and after that fiscal highest cliff—the one that is even higher than the first three hence it being called “highest.”
  • Today it’s the fiscal Cliff Watson; next year it will be the fiscal Cliff Burton, after that the fiscal Cliff Richard, and after that fiscal Jimmy Cliff, which is particularly bad because there are apparently more than one.

I hope that my readers can come up with more metaphors to help out Bobby Jindal. He really needs the help.

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This

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Stop Me If You've Heard ThisI just read a fun little book, Stop Me If You’ve Heard This by Jim Holt. It is subtitled “A history and philosophy of jokes” but I don’t know how accurate that is. It does have some history and philosophy, but it is more like a personal essay about jokes. It is really good: you can ask my friends who had to put up with me texting them jokes all day yesterday.

Stop me if you’ve heard this: What does a snail say when riding on the back of a turtle? “Whee!” (This joke is listed in the index under, “Snails, relative excitability of.”)

That’s probably the sweetest joke I’ve ever heard. I went to lunch with my brother yesterday and I was looking through the book for jokes. That was about the only one I could find that wasn’t offensive in one way or another. Holt says that the majority of all jokes are sexual or scatalogical. Thankfully, he sticks mostly to the sexual.

Here is an example of a joke that dates back to the 1890s, was popularly told about Clinton, but is here about Richard Nixon:

Nixon’s taking a walk around the White House grounds one winter day when he comes across the words, “I hate Tricky Dick” written in urine in the snow. He tells the Secret Service to investigate. A week later, they come back to him and say, “Well, My. President, we’ve analyzed the urine, and it turns out to be Secretary Kissinger’s. But we’ve also analyzed the handwriting, and it’s the First Lady’s.”

Actually, I had to think about that for moment. And this isn’t that surprising. Consider a time last week when I met some friends at a bar.

I told them that during the VP debate, what I really wanted to see was a street fight. One of my friends said, “My dad always said that in a street fight with a black guy, you should kick ’em in the shins because their skulls are so think.” Understandably, this statement made me uncomfortable. So as is my nature, I tried to relieve the tension. And I said, “Yeah, kick ’em in the shin, ’cause that’s where their dicks are.” They burst out laughing. I immediately figured out that I had not made the joke I had thought—I made a much stronger joke. All I meant to say was that his father’s advice was stupid; kicking someone in the balls in a better idea. Thus, I was making a simple sarcastic statement. And in doing so, I was taking the heat off the racial aspect of the statement. The joke that was heard, of course, just perpetuated yet another racial stereotype. It did work to move the conversation on.

The most interesting thing about the history of jokes is how they come and go. It seems that the ancient Greeks perfected the joke, but during the Dark Ages, the art was lost. It was mostly reinvented (if that’s the word) by the Italian humanist Paggio Bracciolini, in the mid-15th century. But he hardly perfected it. Check out the following joke for an example of beating an idea to death:

The abbot of Septimo, an extremely corpulent man, was traveling toward Florence one evening. On the road he asked a peasant, “Do you think I’ll be able to make it through the city gate?” He was talking about whether he would be able to make it to the city before the gates were closed. The peasant, jesting on the abbot’s fatness, said, “Why, if a cart of hay can make it through, you can, too!”

This is kind of like, “Take my wife, as in ‘consider my wife’… Please! In the different sense of ‘take’ you see. I was implying that you should consider my wife but I was really just saying that you should take her off my hands! This is because I don’t like my wife very much.” That Henny Youngman really could have taken some lessons from Bracciolini.

There is much more in Stop Me If You’ve Heard This. And it is a quick read—an hour or two. ($15.95 for 20,000 words!) It is a good starting point to learning more about the subject.

By the way, here’s my favorite joke (which is not in the book): How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish!

“Know Your States” Brought to You by Twitter

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TwitterI’ve long thought that Twitter was one of the stupidest ideas in the world. But I had never tried it. I am, after all, not a 160 character kind of guy. But I finally got an account, and it is great.

What I didn’t understand is that twitter is not just a bunch of inane narcissists sending out tweets about what they had for lunch. It is also a bunch of smart narcissists sending out tweets about what they just read. Thus, it makes it much easier for people like me to keep up on what’s happening in the commentariat. It also provides links to some very cool stuff.

Take, for example, this great Know Your States game at Jim’s Pages. In it, you are asked to drag a state onto its correct place on a blank map of America. It’s actually a lot easier than you would think, as you can see from my first score:

Know Your States

The reason it is relatively easy is that you get the outlines of the states. So Maryland is really easy. But Colorado is not. Even still, I think this is an excellent game for learning American geography. It forced me to think through some things. For example, I knew that Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida form a line along the Gulf Coast. But I didn’t know that I knew it until having to think about it for the test. Similarly, this kind of thinking works for the Canadian boarder, the southern east coast, and many other less clearly named regions.

I highly recommend taking the test. In fact, it bears repeated games. After several attempts, I am starting to get a handle on American geography that American elementary school never did.

Update (1 October 2012 12:37 pm)

Brad Plumer claims the game is harder than it looks. He’s wrong.

New York 1938

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This is via someone named Spocko (If this proves how unhip I am: you’re surprised?!) via the always wonderful digby. It is the funniest thing I’ve seen since last night when I was gorging on Firesign Theater. But still: this is very funny. This shows how Scientology and Objectivism were born. And the actors look a fair amount like those fucktards (except Ayn Rand was never this pretty):

Ayn Rand: This is aimed at the people who want to feel smarter than religious people. No, no, no. The goal here is to take those with a religious zealot’s sense of superiority but without the forced, obligitory compassion. If done right, we can take the most wealthy, powerful, and privileged people and get them to talk like they’re the poor persecuted minority. They will become the most slappable people on earth!

L. Ron Hubbard: That’s almost too evil. You can’t!

Ayn Rand: Oh, I’m doing it. I’m going to write a book and soon rich white males will be gathering en masse to congratulate themselves on how awesome they are for doing exactly what they already wanted to do anyway.

Gekko-Galt 2012!

Update (12 August 2012 11:09 pm)

I found this video is based upon an article from Goblin Books:

I Was Shitting You People – A Message From Ayn Rand

The author has several other adventures of Ayn and L. Ron. Very funny stuff. Such as:

If you are reading this it means that Tom Cruise has already killed me—possibly with the aid of John Stossel. Stossel will be coming for you next, and there is probably nothing you can do. My dear friend, I am so sorry to have brought this darkness into your life. I wish I’d never found the Ayn Rand documents. I wish I’d never stumbled onto the secret. Because it goes further than either of us ever could have imagined…

Is Bugs Bunny a Rabbit or Hare?

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Bugs BunnyBefore getting to the burning question of whether Bugs Bunny is a rabbit or a hare, let’s take a step back and take a look at this colorful character.

A Brief History of Bugs Bunny

On 30 April, all the way back in 1938, Bugs’ Bunny was born. Well, sorta.

Note that I used an apostrophe after what has become his first name. It is in reference to the director of the first cartoon to feature the character, Ben Hardaway, whose nickname was Bugs. Thus, animators started referring to the nameless character as “Bugs’ bunny” (and later “Bugs’s bunny”) — not a name, a description. But the name stuck, even if the apostrophe didn’t.

Skip right to the answer!

The cartoon in question is Porky’s Hare Hunt. But the bunny in that film is not much like the Bugs Bunny we have grown to love.

For one thing, he sounds like Woody Woodpecker — literally. In 1940, Mel Blanc moved the voice from the one character to the other.

Also, this early character doesn’t have the intellectual sophistication that he will eventually develop. (Although he’s still way smarter than Porky Pig and most humans I know.) He’s mostly just a spaz, like Daffy Duck in his early versions. (He was first introduced in the similarly titled, Porky’s Duck Hunt.)

In addition to this, Bugs doesn’t look the same. He’s quite short — again, like the early Daffy Duck. And he is all one color. But there is a continuity. It’s kind of like the ship of Theseus: if all parts of a ship are gradually replaced, is it still the same ship? There isn’t one answer to that; it is just a way of thinking about what is is.

But in the case of Bugs Bunny, I think we can say that this little Woody Woodpecker laughing bunny is indeed a form of the iconic character.

This is not the consensus view, however.

Porky’s Hare Hunt was from the Looney Tunes series, and Bugs Bunny really is a Merrie Melodies character. Thus, most people consider the first appearance to be in the 27 July 1940 film A Wild Hare:

And he evolved from there. Frankly, I believe at some point he crossed a line and became uninteresting. It’s hard to set a precise moment, because there is no such moment. But it was when Warner Bros Cartoons went postmodern. That’s when there was Bugs Bunny the actor and Bugs Bunny the part he played.

Not that good postmodern cartoons weren’t made. Duck Amuck is one of the best things Warner Bros Cartoons ever did.

It’s more that Bugs Bunny became so sophisticated and so in control that he lost his zany. But there’s a lot more great Bugs Bunny than meh.

Is This a Question Worth Asking?

As far as I know, I was the first person on the internet to ask and fully answer the question, “Is Bugs Bunny a rabbit or a hare”? People go their whole lives without asking the really important questions.

It was a question that had burned in my mind since I was a child. Rabbits and hares look similar, but they are very different animals.

But I was surprised that almost to a person, my friends found the “rabbit or hare” question absurd — just Frank being Frank. However, since I published this article back in 2012, it has been one of the most popular pages on this site of 8,000 pages.

Clearly: a lot of people had the same question.

And several years after this article was first published, a number of other people published similar articles. There’s even a video that deals with the issue, although in a roundabout way.

Bugs Bunny: Rabbit or Hare?

So let’s get to the question: is Warner Bros Cartoons’ most famous character a rabbit or a hare? The question must be answered!

Is a Bunny a Rabbit?

I know what you’re thinking: his name is Bugs Bunny, so he must be a rabbit. And yet, most of the cartoons have titles like Hare Brush and Fallin’ Hare and Bill of Hare.

What’s more, just look at the titles of the two films that people argue about being the first to feature Bugs Bunny: Porky’s Hare Hunt and A Wild Hare (both embedded above).

An Ill-Defined Term

And the truth is that “bunny” is an ill-defined term. But not because it isn’t defined as (generally a young) rabbit. Rather, because most people lump rabbits and hares together.

So the situation is far from clear.

A Little Biology: Rabbit vs Hare

Before we get into this, I should tell you a little bit about rabbits and hares.

Despite the fact that they look quite similar, they are, in fact, not just different species, but different Genera.

In fact, rabbits (and I always kind of knew this because you just can’t trust rabbits) are in 8 different Genera.

This depends on the exact kind of rabbit. Most Americans will know the rabbits in the Sylvilagus Genus, which includes the cottontail rabbit.

Hares are all in one genus: Lepus.

Rabbits have 44 chromosomes, while hares have 48. So they really are fundamentally different.

So rabbits and hares are only in the same family: Leporidae. So they are as related as humans are to gorillas — very related, but far from being the same.

Two Cottontail Rabbits
Two cottontails (rabbit)

What’s In a Name?

Part of the problem is that five of the 32 types of hare are called jackrabbits. (Five different kinds of rabbits are called hares.)

This reminds me of all the confusion about the dormouse. The dormouse is not a mouse. In fact, they aren’t even the same Family; you have to go up to the Order (Rodentia), which they share.

When I was younger, I wondered why the jackrabbits I see everywhere here in Northern California seemed so different than domesticated rabbits. It is because they are only distantly related. And personally, I find hares much more interesting, even if I’m personally more like a rabbit.

Black-Tailed Jackrabbit in Tall Dry Grass
Black-tailed Jackrabbit (hare)

What Does This All Have to Do With Bugs Bunny?

Perhaps the most obvious difference between hares and rabbits is how they are born. Hares are born with hair (Ha!) and are fairly independent. Rabbits are born blind and hairless.

Unfortunately, his does us no good in our search for the truth about Bugs Bunny, because no film survives from his early days. But all hope is not lost.

Because of the fragility of young rabbits, they are forced to live underground in burrows. And Bugs Bunny lives in a hole. This almost seems like a smoking gun. See this Pete Puma cartoon:

We have seen that Bugs lives in a hole in many other episodes. This does suggest that Bugs is a rabbit. It is about the only thing that does, however. And The Flintstones live in houses, not caves. The hole seems clearly designed to give Bugs Bunny a sense of place, and in later episodes a sense of his being human-like (note that neither hares nor rabbits easily outwit humans).

Bugs is gray, and hares tend to be grayish. Bugs has long ears, and hares have longer ears. Bugs is fast, and hares are very fast (jackrabbits can run up to 40 miles per hour). Bugs is quick witted, and so are hares — they have to be given they live out in the open. But by far, the most compelling evidence that Bugs Bunny is a hare is that hares do not live in groups — they are loners.

The argument for Shorty is perhaps better. For one thing, he looks like a rabbit. And he doesn’t speak English like hares normally do.

Conclusion: Is Bugs Bunny a Hare or a Rabbit?

In the end, I suppose we shouldn’t depend upon cartoons for our biology education. Bugs seems to be both a rabbit and a hare. But the evidence points more toward him being a hare.

What is clear is that the crew at Merrie Melodies saw hares and rabbits as interchangeable. Given that Warner Bros Cartoons was based in Los Angeles, California, the main experience of the people working there was likely the jackrabbit — a hare that is called a rabbit.

And obviously, given that Bugs Bunny was first paired with Elmer Fudd, and Elmer Fudd was first paired with the proto-Bugs Bunny (Elmer’s Candid Camera), of course they would use “rabbit” to make fun of Fudd’s speech impediment (it was 1940).

I think Bugs Bunny looks and acts more like a hare than a rabbit. But what he really looks and acts like is a cartoon character. One of the very best.

Now all I have to do is get the scoop on that Trix “rabbit.”

Image of Bugs Bunny taken from Wikipedia and licensed under Fair Use. The wildlife images are both in the public domain via pxhere and PIXNIO.

The 3 (or 7) Houses of Parliament

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Arrested Development Season 3I tried to upload a video from Arrested Development to You Tube. It was 22.8 seconds long and it was bookmarked between a screen that read, “Sometimes satire just makes things worse.” And “Now millions of ‘hip’ Americans think Parliament has 3 houses. Maybe it’s because Congress has three houses.”

The scene I took was from the episode “The Ocean Walker.” In it, Michael asks Rita, who is mentally challenged, how many houses are in the British Parliament. She replies, “Seven!” And Michael says, “That does sound about right.” Meanwhile, the narrator claims that the number is three. When I first saw this episode, I didn’t get the joke. Instead, I thought, “Wow, I’m stupid! I thought there were only two.” So I looked it up, and sure enough, I am stupid—not because I was wrong but because I’m so gullible; I’ll believe anything Ron Howard says.

It occurs to me that many people watching the show went away thinking that the British Parliament has three houses. Not only did the narrator say it twice, George Michael, the most earnest character ever created, says it as well.

But that 22.8 seconds of Arrested Development violated Fox’s copyright claim and the video was blocked instantly. (Ever notice how when uploading videos to YouTube, most of the time is spent “analyzing”? I believe that is just checking the video against such claims.) I am certain that what I’ve created falls under fair use. It is an outrage that such a tiny section of video is automatically discounted without thought by YouTube. What’s more, such a policy is bad for Arrested Development itself. Little snippets like this are nothing if not commercials.

So until I get a letter from Fox, the video is provided here. If I can figure out how to embed it directly here I will.

Update

I’ve filed a dispute claiming fair use. Our society is screwed up when the onus of fair use is on the user, but so be it. Temporarily, the video is on YouTube. I am not hopeful for my claim—not because it is invalid but because the copyright law is now so skewed that it is hopeless. I’m looking forward to copyright being expanded another 15 years for the sake of Disney.

For the time:

Update (7 June 2014 11:00 pm)

I should have done this update a long time ago. Fox agreed with my claim and it is up for good, I guess. You could help me a little. The video currently has 7 thumbs up and 6 thumbs down. All of those 6 thumbs down came at the beginning. I think this is because they thought I was criticizing the show, which I’m not. I think this is one of the most brilliant jokes ever. So you could give the video a thumbs up.