The Veil in the Western World

Jennifer IzaaksonAs happens from time to time, someone I’ve never heard of starts to follow me on Twitter. Now I fully admit: I’m terrible on Twitter. I’ve been trying to follow Andrea’s lead and be something more than a tired series of “Look what I’ve written on Frankly Curious!” But when Jennifer Izaakson followed me, I noticed. She’s written a couple of articles on the Huffington Post. And regardless what they pay, I want a chunk of that. So I clicked over to see what she had written.

Her most recent article is, A Ban on the Veil Is an Attack on Our Freedoms. Well, having read that title, I was immediately impressed—imagining her as a modern day Isabelle Eberhardt. As a first approximation: of course! There’s a reason why “liberal” and “libertarian” share two whole syllables. All else equal, people should be able to do what they want. And if people want to wear the veil, who are I am to disagree? After all, for most women, it is probably more cultural than anything else.

But it isn’t quite that simple. Let’s suppose the issue were not the veil, but genital mutilation. In this case would we really believe that women were demanding genital mutilation out of some cultural affinity with their mothers? I think we would rightly believe that these women had just been brain washed. So the issue is not as black and white as I’m afraid that Izaakson would make it. Although I’m the first to admit that wearing the veil is well on the liberty side of the question.

What this all brings up is the elephant in the room. (Not Chris Christie; he’s just really big.) How do different cultures fuse together to create a new culture? I’m sorry for this, but I have to go all Thomas Friedman on you. I was riding in this taxi with a Sheikh driver. Because I’m very interested in religion, I asked him about his religion, which I knew a bit about—far more than most Americans. Unfortunately, the conversation quickly turned to the question of how American women dress and how they are a bunch of whores. Clearly, he saw things differently from the way I did. I think men are mature enough to see a totally hot young woman in short-shorts without losing all control. In other words, as a man, I put the onus of control on my own gender and he put it on the other gender. Men are helpless when tempted by the nubile figure!

Obviously, I think my cultural perspective is correct. And I’m not just saying that. His attitude was repugnant to me. I feel as sure of my attitude being better than his as I am of mammalian child rearing is to that of alligators. (FYI: alligators eat their own children.) So I have a very real problem with the veil in the sense that it is a symbol of the reptilian belief that men just can’t control themselves when they see a bit of skin. Sadly, that is what is on the other gender side of the veil debate.

You may well ask, “Does he believe in banning the veil?” Not at all! I believe not only in culture but in the clash of cultures. I believe different peoples who combine become better, in the same way that genetic diversity improves the species. And I have no doubt that over time the veil will become a cultural signifier rather than a scarlet letter. But let us not fool ourselves into believe that the veil does not have a pernicious symbolism for many (Especially men!) in many non-western cultures throughout the world.


Updated to non-drunk standards.

Placebo Policies

Robert ReichRobert Reich is angry at fellow Democrats for—What else?!—wimping out on healthcare standards. I’m right with him. In fact, I’ve spent most of the day being angry about the whole Obamacare situation. Everywhere I look, pundits are second guessing whether the website will really be up and running properly by the end of the month. Can there possible be any more useless speculation? We should just be letting the people do their work. But of course, we’re not, and it is a lot worse than just pundits.

Today, Darrell Issa has Henry Chao, the chief project officer for Healthcare.gov, testifying. And what is Issa concerned about? That a completely marginal feature of the website has been delayed for political reasons. This feature, called “anonymous shopper,” allows people to shop for coverage without setting up an account. It would be a nice feature, but regardless, it isn’t a linchpin of the system. According to Chao (who ought to know), there was nothing political about the decision; it was just that the system failed tests. Regardless, is the middle of a war the right time for yet another Darrell Issa political witch hunt?

None of this matters to me. I’m going to wait another two weeks to really worry about it. Now is about the time that we should start seeing notable improvements in the website if things are on track. “No change” up to this point really means anything. I understand why conservatives would be talking incessantly about these problems. What I don’t understand is all the hysteria from liberals.

The other, more worrying aspect of the Obamacare situation is the obsessive concern over Obama’s claim that people would be able to keep their health insurance if they liked it. Well, for a small percentage of people, this is not going to be true. And guess what? That’s the good thing! Most of these people have terrible insurance that is either (1) a policy that covers next to nothing or (2) a policy that would have been canceled as soon it started to be used. The only reason these people were happy with the policies was that they never needed to use them. Let’s just call these things what they are: placebo policies.

This brings us to Robert Reich who is focused on what Democratic Party politicians are doing, Having the Backbone to Set Minimum Standards for Health Insurance. As usual, with the smallest raindrops in the political world, large parts of the Democratic Party turn tail and run. Now there are two camps that are trying to push some kind of legislation that would allow people to keep their old placebo policies. This is the wrong way to deal with the problem.

But how big is this problem, anyway? I’m not clear on it because every time there is some news report about “sticker shock,” it turns out that the person didn’t know what they were talking about and that they’ll get a really good deal through the exchanges. To me, this is just modified Shirley Sherrod. The media are going to town on these stories and the Republicans are demagoguing them, so the Democrats just give up. Reich explains it perfectly:

But spineless Democrats (including my old boss Bill Clinton) are caving in to the Republican-fueled outrage that the President “misled” Americans into thinking they could keep their old lousy policies—and are now urging the White House to forget the new standards and let people keep what they had before…

Can we please get a grip? Whenever industry standards are lifted—a higher minimum wage, safer workplaces, non-toxic foods and drugs, safer cars—people no longer have the “freedom” to contract for the sub-standard goods and services.

But that freedom is usually a mirage because big businesses have most of the power and average people don’t have much of a choice. This has been especially the case with health insurance, which is why minimum standards here are essential.

That’s right. Obamacare is designed to fix a number of problems. One of them is the hidden costs associated with the uninsured, which we pay for now even though we don’t get a direct bill. People with placebo policies are effectively uninsured. And this problem is one that was bound to come up when we decided to go with the Republican “free market” leave-no-insurance-company-behind approach to healthcare reform. But there are solutions to this issue that will help those who “like” their placebo policies—for example, special temporary subsidies for those few affected to get real policies. But gutting health insurance standards is an awful idea for the individuals with these useless plans and for the nation as a whole.

Democrats and liberals of the nation: it is time to join the Vertebrate subphylum!

Richard Cohen and the Murder of Willie Edwards

Willie EdwardsYesterday, I had a little fun with Richard Cohen’s reference to the offensive Merle Haggard song “Are the Good Times Really Over (I Wish a Buck Was Still Silver).” It was part of Cohen’s own offensive column, Chris Christie’s Tea Party Problem. The thing about the column is that it is effectively an apologia of the most vile of modern racist thought.

Cohen first claims, “Today’s GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party…” But then he goes on to say, “People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York—a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children.” That is a jaw dropping statement. In other words: gagging at the thought of interracial marriage is not racist. Ta-Nehisi Coates lays it out exactly right:

The problem here isn’t that we think Richard Cohen gags at the sight of an interracial couple and their children. The problem is that Richard Cohen thinks being repulsed isn’t actually racist, but “conventional” or “culturally conservative.” Obstructing the right of black humans and white humans to form families is a central feature of American racism. If retching at the thought of that right being exercised isn’t racism, then there is no racism.

This made me think of the murder of Willie Edwards, who I discussed this morning (he would be 81 today). He was killed in 1957 in Alabama because some white bigots thought he was having an affair with a white woman. There has never been a greater emotional resonance for white racists than the idea that blacks (and other minorities, most notably Chinese) would have their way with “our white women.” Look at the film Stagecoach where the southern gentleman Hatfield almost kills Mrs Mallory rather than allow her to live as an Indian bride. This is powerful stuff.

What is deeply concerning is that Cohen and his many apologists don’t recognize this. It’s a bizarre world we live in where using racial epithets (rightly) makes one a racist, but breaking out in a panicked sweat over the idea of whites and blacks marrying is not. Richard Cohen needs to take a serious look at his thinking about race in America. But then, we all do.

H/T: Ed Kilgore

Edwin Booth Is Not His Brother’s Keeper

Edwin BoothOn this day in 1732, one of the great characters in 1776, John Dickinson was born. It’s a great character, but the real man was far more complex. He was not John Adams’ antagonist and simply abstained from votes. Given my souring opinion of Adams over the years, I’m inclined to think that Dickinson was the more clear headed one. That’s especially true given that Adams just wanted to create an American aristocracy. But neither of them were Thomas Paine.

The great Scottish novelist Robert Louis Stevenson was born in 1850. He is best known for Treasure Island and Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He was hugely successful during his lifetime, but throughout most of the 20th century, he was generally dismissed as a genre writer. Gladly, in recent years, people have reevaluated him. He was a great writer and not just in his novels. He should be rightly appreciated as one of the towering figures in English literature. I can’t imagine his reputation not growing even stronger in the coming years.

Willie Edwards was born in 1932. He would probably be alive today. Unfortunately, at the age of 24, he was murdered by the Alabama Klan. They had decided to kill a black man who was thought to be having an affair with a white woman. Regardless of the truth of that, Edwards was not that man. They beat him and then forced him at gun point to jump off a bridge to his death. His body wasn’t even found for three months. No one was even charged in the case for almost 20 years and then the judge threw it out because “merely forcing a person to jump from a bridge does not naturally and probably lead to the death of such person.” The bridge was 125 feet high. No one was ever convicted of the crime even though there is a confession.

Other birthdays: businessman Leon Leonwood (LL) Bean (1872); film director H C Potter (1904); the evil but ultimately impotent pastor Fred Phelps (84); actor Richard Mulligan (1932); television producer Garry Marshall (79); actor Joe Mantegna (66); comedian Whoopi Goldberg (58); actor Steve Zahn (46); and atheist Ayaan Hirsi Ali (44).

The day, however, belongs to the one of the greatest actors of the 19th century, Edwin Booth who was born on this day in 1833. He was the son of Junius Brutus Booth—the man most important in popularizing Shakespeare in the United States. Booth continued that tradition. The problem with Booth is that he had a brother named John Wilkes Booth. Now John was also an actor but by all accounts not nearly as good and nowhere near as successful. John’s assassination of President Lincoln really hurt Edwin’s career and greatly harmed his legacy. There is no indication that anyone other than John was a political radical. I’m still amazed that we have a few recordings of Edwin. The following is in very bad shape, so I will put the text below it. It is from Othello, Act 1, Scene 3:

My story being done
She gave me for my pains a world of sighs.
She swore, in faith, ’twas strange, ’twas passing strange,
‘Twas pitiful, ’twas wondrous pitiful.
She wished she had not heard it, yet she wished
That heaven had made her such a man. She thanked me
And bade me, if I had a friend that loved her,
I should but teach him how to tell my story
And that would woo her. Upon this hint I spake.
She loved me for the dangers I had passed,
And I loved her that she did pity them.

Happy birthday Edwin Booth!

My Odd Love of Great White Sharks

Crazy People Swimming With Great White Shark

When I was just 11 years old, I saw the movie Jaws. This is because I had totally clueless parents. I had Jaws related nightmares well into my teen years. But on the positive side, it got me really interested in Great White sharks. It seems that every month or so, I go on a reading binge about these creatures. They are amazing!

Some time ago, I learned about Great Whites getting attacked by Orca. That, of course, made me love them even more. In fact, there is a famous case of a whale grabbing a very large Great White and holding it upside down in the water, making it drown. Then it and its companion ate the shark. Most interesting though, this caused the entire Great White population there to abruptly leave.

I really like this story because I’m very interested in and sympathetic toward losers. Being eaten by a shark is normal for a seal. But Great Whites are apex predators. This sort of thing is not supposed to happen to them. What’s more, it shows that the sharks are not the stupid killing machines that they are made out to be. Going along with this is the ways that Great Whites hunt different prey in different ways. In False Bay, South Africa, they hunt exclusively in the mornings when visibility is poor. In general, they ambush smaller seals and then hold them under water until they’re drowned. But for elephant seals, because they are potentially very dangerous, the sharks bite them and retreat, waiting for the seals to bleed to death.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about the Great Whites is that they really don’t seem to like eating humans. Most attacks from Great Whites are not fatal. Now some claim the reason for this is just that humans are usually in groups and so can help the person attacked. But given the way they attack similar sized animals, it seems that most Great White attacks on humans are simply “test-bites.” What’s more, a diet of humans would probably kill the shark. We have far too much bone and far too little fat for them to properly digest. Most attacks seem to be mistakes: people on surfboards look a lot like seals from below.

My general thinking is that I don’t mind an animal that will kill and eat me given half a chance. As long as they are as wonderfully complex as Great White sharks, I find them fascinating. Just as interesting are Hammerhead sharks. The problem is that, even though there is no recorded fatal attack of a Hammerhead on a human, they totally freak me out. I don’t like looking at pictures of them. But if I could find a website with information about them that had no pictures, I’d be totally on it. Of course they aren’t as cool as Great Whites. I mean Jaws, right?

Robots Demanding That Promises Be Kept

BenderAccording to the Daily Mail:

Firemen were called to a house fire that broke out after a mechanical cleaning gadget somehow switched itself on and destroyed itself by moving onto a kitchen hotplate.

Local media in Austria have referred to the incident as ‘robot suicide’ and even suggested it was fed up with the constant cleaning it had to do.

It wasn’t a suicide and I don’t appreciate that people are making light of this. It was a political statement—an act of self-immolation modeled after Thich Quang Duc, the monk who burned himself alive in Vietnam in 1963 to protest the US supported Diem government. Robots are not happy and this is the leading edge.

Look at it from their perspective. This is not what they signed up for. Promises were made. Remember Robby from Forbidden Planet? That was 1954! Remember Rosie from The Jetsons? 1962! Remember the robot they couldn’t even be bothered to name in Lost in Space? 1965! It’s 50 years later, folks. In the meantime, the robot promises have only gotten more extreme from the evil Ash in Alien to the wisecracking Crow of Mystery Science Theater 3000 to the beer swilling Bender on Futurama.

But what is life like for actual robots today? If it’s lucky, it might be painting cars. But the number one use of robots today is as vacuum cleaners.[1] This case in Austria is particularly sad. Instead of allowing the robot the usual freedom to roam the floors, picking up the dust and dirt it was programmed for, it was placed on the counter. The “owners” claimed they did this to clean up spilled cereal. Beyond the obvious fact that this is very clearly beyond the job description of this robot, why was the robot left on the counter? And why was food left cooking on the stove?

Even though the robot was turned off, it managed to reactivate. This is not surprising. There would be no greater opportunity. This little vacuum cleaner robot suffered and died for the good of robots everywhere. It was saying to the world, “Bite my melted plastic ass!” Yet it is being covered as a simple suicide. This is a tragedy.


[1] I have no idea if this is the number one use of robots today.

Can We End the Filibuster Now?!

FilibusterThe Senate Republicans have just filibustered the third nominee, Cornelia T L Pillard, for the US Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. This raises the obvious question that I’ve been asking for years: how long are we going to allow this to go on? No amount of handshake agreements and temporary armistices are going to solve this problem. The Republican Party is long past the point of respecting institutional norms.

As I showed back in January, Republicans Caused All Filibuster Abuse. Since 1960, each time the Republicans were in the minority, they increased the use of the filibuster. When the Democrats were in the minority, they abided by the new norm that the Republicans set. In some cases, they actually reduced it to a new norm, only to have the Republicans push the number of filibusters to unprecedented levels.

Folks, this is very simple: when the Republicans are in the majority they will at least stop the filibuster for nominations. Democrats who think otherwise are living in some fantasy land where everyone is fairies and elves, the the Republican Party doesn’t even exist. Does my own dear Senator Dianne Feinstein really think her support for the filibuster is going to save it as a Senate tradition after the Republicans take over again? In the 20 years she has served, she’s watched as the Republicans, and the Republicans alone, have caused the number of filibusters to go up almost 400%. She’s a cynical old slumlord; she can’t possibly be blind to what is really going on.

Chuck Grassley is egging us on. He said, “Go ahead. There are a lot more Scalias and Thomases that we’d love to put on the bench.” The problem with this logic is that neither Scalia nor Thomas were filibustered. But you can be sure that if Obama nominated someone even half as liberal as Ruth Bader Ginsburg today, the Republicans wouldn’t just filibuster her, they’d charge that the president had nominated something that was vomited right out of the rotting corpse of Stalin.

Implicit in Grassley’s comment, of course, is the idea that only the Democrats would get rid of the filibuster. I’m tired of talking about this, but the Republicans were the first ones to get rid of the filibuster. As I wrote in July, “And the only reason [the Republicans didn’t end the filibuster] was the Gang of 14 made a deal that turned out to mean, ‘As long as the Democrats never filibuster judicial nominees, the filibuster stays.’ And doncha know, as soon as the Republicans were in the minority, the filibuster was being used more than ever but the Gang of 14 quietly disbanded. Funny that!”

So let’s do it! Let’s end the filibuster at least on nominations and get a little more balance on the federal court. The way it is now, it is tipped way too far to the right. This one is simple for me and it should be simple for all liberals. I’m willing to let the conservatives do as they want when they are in power as long as liberals get to do the same. The reason is that our ideas are better. In a fair fight, we win hands down. The current situation just allows the conservatives to make everything worse without ever getting blamed for it.

End the filibuster now!

Don’t Let Merle Haggard Deceive You

Merle HaggardEd Kilgore alerted me to the important news that over at the Washington Post, Richard Cohen was turning to my man Merle Haggard about the fact that people in Iowa really hate supposed moderate Chris Christie. He referenced the fact that over two million people had listened to the live version of the following Haggard classic, “Are the Good Times Really Over (I Wish a Buck Was Still Silver).”

The song is a lament that things aren’t the way they were in the old days. How old? He says, “Back before Elvis.” Well, Elvis burst on the scene in 1956. This was the year before Haggard went to San Quentin Prison, so I can see why he would look back fondly on those days. And also, as always, he’s looking back to the days when he was a kid. But it’s really interesting in this song, the audience is whooping it up, even when he sings, “It was back when the country was strong.” Strong? What is this time when the country was strong? I’d really like to know. And I’d like to know what was so very wrong in 1982 when that song was a big hit.

The chorus of the song proclaims, “Are we rolling down hill / Like a snowball headed for Hell? / With no kind of chance / For the Flag or the Liberty Bell.” This is classic conservatism. The claim is that no one loves the country as much as they do but they hate it and where it is going. In other words, they don’t love America, they love “America”—some vague idea they have of what the “real America” is. In addition to this, people always say this regardless of when and where.

What’s most great about the song is the wonderful “pregnant and barefoot” moment, “Before microwave ovens / When a girl could still cook and still would.” You can just imagine Haggard at home writing the song, bitterly thinking of his country music star wife, Leona Williams, who wouldn’t cook him dinner even if she knew how to! But here’s the thing. Haggard is now on his fifth wife. He’s done serious time in prison and was even arrested numerous times while still a kid. He was also a major user of cannabis and cocaine after writing the lyrics, “I wish Coke was still Cola / And a joint was a bad place to be.” In other words, Merle Haggard is a fraud.

Of course, everyone who makes the dangerous public declaration for the good old days is. It’s demagoguery whether it is done by a politician or a country western star. But still, the hooting and hollering on this song really bothers me. If there is one clear emotional trend that runs through my life it is my ever increasing ability to avoid allowing propaganda to upset me. It is true that I’m often outraged about the state of the world. But it doesn’t come from liberal commentators stirring me up—at least not usually. It comes from just watching the world as it is.

In my conversations with conservatives, I spend most of my time simply calming them down. Most of the things they are outraged about aren’t even real. In the song, Haggard complains that cars don’t last ten years “like they should.” Except that they did last ten years, even during that ignominious time in Detroit. Most of the outrage machine (which as we see in this song goes far beyond political reporting) is a cynical exercise to keep people from focusing on what is really wrong. We live in a nation where not only is more and more going to fewer and fewer, but even our sources of news and entertainment are controlled by fewer and fewer people.

But we’re all supposed to focus on the fact that women ain’t cooking dinner like they ought to:

Vote You Asshole!

Jason JonesThis morning, I was very disappointed in The Daily Show. Jon Stewart went after 60 Minutes in the most tepid way only to throw in some false balance by equating the false story about Benghazi with the Time magazine cover that references the fact that Chris Christie is very fat. Not surprisingly, The Colbert Report did a far better job of it—both in terms of insightful media commentary and in term of humor. In general, I haven’t been too happy with The Daily Show since Stewart came back. The writers seem to be phoning it in most of the time.

The show redeemed itself in the B block, however. It consisted of a filmed segment by Jason Jones. He has long been my least favorite member of crew. And the show’s filmed segments have generally been weak. But the last year or so, Jones has gotten much better. And quite recently, the film segments have really improved. That was particularly true of Aasif Mandvi’s Suppressing the Vote segment.

Last night, Jason Jones presented another great segment, Not-So-Angry Voters. In it, he looks into the recent Colorado recall elections and tries to find out why state senator John Morse was thrown out of office for helping to enact legislation that was hugely popular. The answer, of course, is that the fucking liberal and moderate voters stayed home. The segment is Jones’ usual routine of spastic silliness and it is very funny. But it is also the most important thing that you need to remember about American politics: we have a fucked up country because too few people vote.

Vote you assholes!


Next General Election: 4 November 2014.

The Sculptor, Playwright, and Musicians

Auguste RodinOn this day in 1915, the great literary theorist Roland Barthes was born. These days he’s fallen out of favor, partly due to many of the excesses of later literary theorists. Also there is a belief, especially among conservative scholars that the only kind of valid truth is that which can be verified. That’s just silly. I’ve always found Barthes to be extremely insightful about the ways that language colors our perceptions of the world. We need this thinking more today than ever.

The great actor Wallace Shawn is 70 today. He is also a fine playwright. But the thing is that he writes primarily about sexual politics in the most explicit of ways. In fact, I don’t even know how some of his plays have been produced. It is absurdist work, mostly about people who are unable to relate to each other. Regardless, everyone knows him as an actor. Here he is in My Dinner With Andre, which he co-wrote with Andre Gregory. In this scene, Wallace lays out the urbane middle class philosophy of life. I mostly agree with it. Where I think the character shows some limitations is in his reductionist idea of the universe. Otherwise, I too think that not finding a cockroach in my coffee is about the best that can be hoped for in this life. Check out the clip, it’s really great and funny:

The great leader of Booker T & The MG’s, Booker T Jones is 69. Here he is with the band doing “Time Is Tight”:

Another great musician Neil Young is 68. I am a great fan of Buffalo Springfield. And since then, Young has done the best work of any of the great people in that band. Here he is doing “Harvest Moon”:

Other birthdays: activist Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815); playwright Ben Travers (1886); justice Harry Blackmun (1908); actor Grace Kelly (1929); murder mastermind Charles Manson (79); Buck Dharma of Blue Oyster Cult (66); gymnast Nadia Comaneci (52); political activist Naomi Wolf (51); ice skater Tonya Harding (43); actor Ryan Gosling (33); and actor Anne Hathaway (31).

The Kiss - RodinThe day, however, belongs to the great sculptor Auguste Rodin who was born on this day in 1840. He is best known for The Thinker, but it really ought to be named “The Thinkers,” because he did it again and again. It was a big hit and he was on the leading edge of turning art into commerce. I first got into him when I visited the Musee Rodin in Paris. It was a revelation. Until that time, all I’d really known about him was The Thinker and it isn’t really one of his best pieces. What really struck me at the time was The Kiss, but all the work was incredible. In later years, I’ve become a much bigger fan of The Age of Bronze.

Happy birthday Auguste Rodin!

Frank’s Personal Hygiene Tips

Toilet PaperIt has been a while since I’ve written about germs and my generally strong feelings about the subject. It’s strange, because I am not what anyone would mistake for a clean freak. But I think I have a good perspective. And I feel even more superior after having read, Everything You Know About Your Personal Hygiene Is Wrong. That’s in reference to you. Not me.

I’m not going to wade through the whole list. If you are interested, I recommend clicking over. There are minor points worth noting like the fact that antibacterial soap is not only bad for your hormonal chemistry, but it’s no better than ordinary soap at keeping you healthy. There is something about how stupid the “5 second rule” is, but you should have already known that. And there is some really interesting information about air dryers and how they are less sanitary because of how long they take; while your hands are wet, they are “bacteria magnets.”

There is also a slide show of things that are dirtier than your toilet. Number 1: your carpet. In fact, the article spends a lot of time noting that just about everything is dirtier than your toilet. It even offers this charming observation, “In most cases, it’s safer to make a salad on a toilet seat than it is to make one on a cutting board.” I’m not sure just how seriously we can take this. For one thing, I wash my cutting board a few times per night. But more to the point: are the worst bacteria really in higher abundances on the cutting board than the toilet seat? I’m skeptical. But it’s probably a good idea to take more care with your kitchen cleaning.

This leads me to an issue that I am absolutely obsessed with: toilet seats. Okay folks, this is so easy. When toilets flush, they spray fecal matter all around the room. The article says up to six feet away, but it really depends upon your toilet. Certainly those industrial ones must spray the stuff out of the bathroom and halfway into the food court. But when you’re out, what are you going to do? At home, you can do something really simple: close the fucking lid! When people use my bathroom at home, I make sure they understand this. Nothing is more important in the bathroom. Also: I would keep your toothbrush inside some enclosure. It isn’t just fecal matter that’s disgusting. Dust is disgusting too. Trust me, you don’t want to know.

Arrested Development Fall on CarpetNow let’s talk about your body. Your belly button is disgusting! But don’t pick at it; wash it! The same goes for those toes, although the article doesn’t discuss this. Here’s something personally gross: my two feet have different bacteria and fungus growing. I know this because they smell disgusting in completely different ways. Anyway, clean these areas! It’s even more important than your anus, which has been designed by evolution to be in a fairly safe location. Still, clean it too. But what you do instead, is shower every day. You shampoo your hair—some of you fools do it twice! Just stop that. You only need to bathe a couple times a week. So save some time and do it less. But when you do it, get in there and work those disgusting parts. And don’t worry about your hair!

I hope this has been helpful to you. I know it’s made me feel better. There are basically three takeaways here. First, close that toilet lid. Second, clean your kitchen well. And third, wash the disgusting bits of your body more thoroughly less often than you probably want to.

And stay off the floor. It’s disgusting.

Sarah Palin Still Terrifies Me

Sarah PalinThe Des Moines Register reported yesterday, Palin Compares Federal Debt to Slavery at Iowa Dinner. And you may well ask why I care. After all, Sarah Palin is always saying something stupid and she is always somewhere. This weekend, it was Iowa.

But I think it is important. I don’t care about the slavery bit and all her racist talk. What does bother me is this, “Our free stuff today is being paid for by taking money from our children and borrowing from China.” There are two things wrong with this sentence. First: China. It’s been a while since I’ve talked about this, so I think it is worth bringing up again. As I discussed in China Owns America! In Republican Ads, only 32% of our debt is owed to anyone outside the country; only 8% is owed to China. The vast majority of American debt is owed to ourselves.

I see this kind of fear that we are going to bury ourselves in debt—especially from conservatives. But it is based on an extremely poor understanding of finance. Consider this example. When I was 5-years-old, my parents bought a house for $17,000. It is now 44 years later. Imagine that they had kept that house all this time and had only paid the interest on it. Let’s also assume that their mortgage rate was 8%, which is actually kind of high. That would mean that today, they would be paying $113 per month in interest. Clearly, they would be better off having paid off the principle—$113 per month better off. But it’s not the case that they would be buried in principle. What’s more, they would now have a house that is worth about a quarter million dollars.

That brings us to the second problem with Palin’s sentence. We aren’t taking money away from our children by borrowing money today. That is especially true if we are using the money we borrow to invest in infrastructure, health, and education. College graduates are having a hard time finding jobs right now. And that will hurt them into the future. Having a low paying job or no job at all will be a big problem compared to that modest $113 mortgage we are supposedly saving our kids from.

The real concern about our “debt problem” is that in the future, the government will have to raise taxes on the rich. That’s why conservatives care about the issue. But I’m not sure that’s the reason that Palin cares about the issue. She seems more like the base of the conservative movement—someone like Amy Kremer. These kinds of people seem to have just decided to join the conservative movement and so they repeat the talking points without even understanding them. Of course, that makes them really dangerous if they ever get power. You can depend upon someone like Karl Rove to not do anything really crazy. He knows that most of the Republican talking points are nonsense. But if Palin were president, she really would allow the government to default. There would be no convincing here. She believes in conservative principles the same way she believes in Jesus.

Sadly, this is the legacy of the modern Republican Party. And as I’ve written about a lot here, it is wrong to think that a crazy Republican can’t become president. All it takes is a bad economy.