The Voter Fraud Myth

InjusticesThough allegations of voter fraud at the polls are common, they almost always deflate upon further investigation. In 1995, for example, Maryland gubernatorial candidate Ellen Sauerbrey claimed that her opponent, Democrat Parris Glendening, defeated her through a sophisticated voter-fraud campaign. As evidence of a conspiracy, her supporters cited eighty-nine votes that were supposedly cast by dead voters. Yet, an FBI investigation found no evidence whatsoever of votes being cast in the names of dead Marylanders. The closest they came was “one person who had voted then died a week after the election.”

A similar investigation in Georgia began with the accusation that over five thousand votes were cast in the name of dead voters over a twenty-year period. Yet the investigation only substantiated one instance of voter fraud, and this single case was later deemed to be an error as well. As it turns out, a man named “Alan J Mandel” got confused with a man named “Alan J Mandell.” In Michigan, an investigation into 132 votes that were supposedly cast in the names of dead voters revealed that most of those votes were never actually cast in the first place, and most of the remainder involved lawful ballots cast shortly before the voter passwed away. And in New York, journalists dug into allegations of widespread voter fraud in 2002 and 2004, but were unable to uncover anything other than clerical errors and mistakes.

A study of Wisconsin ballots cast in the 2004 election revealed only “7 substantiated cases of individuals knowingly casting invalid votes,” or 0.0002 percent of the ballots cast in that election. Moreover, all seven of those votes were cast by people with felony convictions who were ineligible to vote — not by someone impersonating another voter at the polls. Accordingly, a voter ID law would have done absolutely nothing to prevent these few, rare cases of illegal voting.

Similarly, a two-year voter fraud investigation led by Iowa’s Republican Secretary of State Matt Schultz uncovered exactly zero cases in which a voter showed up at the polls and pretended to be another person. Thus, Schultz was unable to find a single instance of voter fraud that would have been prevented by a voter ID law.

—Ian Millhiser
Injustices

Republicans’ Ridiculous Economic Argument Against Combating Global Warming

Republican DebateWhen the subject of global warming came up at last week’s Republican presidential debate, the responses were slightly different than I had expected. Apparently, no Republican wants to be seen as a global warming denier. They are more than willing to admit that something is happening. They didn’t get into it (because the CNN moderators sucked), but they would probably even agree that humans are having some effect. But now it is just a matter that doing anything would destroy our economy. We also heard that we can’t do anything on our own, even though we emit a fifth of the carbon pollution, and other countries are doing things their their own. What ever happened to American leadership?

Of course, this is nonsense anyway. Do you know when would have been a great time to tackle the problem of climate change? Ever since the bursting of the housing bubble and the crashing of the economy. Ever since then, there has been an enormous amount of slack in the economy and the government has been able to borrow for basically nothing. We could have done massive infrastructure projects that would have made our country more green. We could have invested even more in green technologies. We could have trained all those coal miners to do something less damaging (and dangerous).

But we couldn’t do that because, as they always do when a Democrat is in the White House, the Republicans discovered “fiscal responsibility.” So we couldn’t spend any money on anything. Meanwhile, even apart from global warming, our infrastructure is crumbling and lives are wasted due to unnecessary unemployment. And it is all so that they can make a point: they ought to be in power and they are going to do everything they can to destroy the economy until they are.

But on Friday, Mark Thoma wrote a very interesting article at CBS Money Water about another side of this issue, Candidates Shouldn’t Wait to Address Climate Change. The Republicans were specifically asked if it mightn’t be a good idea to hedge our bets — to do something about global warming just in case. But they really didn’t engage with the question. Instead, their answers all implied that if there was some cost to it, it would be minor. There was no reason to do anything that might hurt our economy in any way at all right now.

Thomas quoted the Stern Review: The Economics of Climate Change (pdf). I wasn’t aware of it, but it was a study commissioned by the UK government to determine the economic effect of climate change. And it concluded “if we don’t act, the overall costs and risks of climate change will be equivalent to losing at least 5% of global GDP each year, now and forever.” Thoma sums up the state of knowledge this way, “My reading of the evidence — and the totality of the work on this question comprises far more than just this report — is that the consequences will be large, and the longer we wait to begin serious abatement, the larger the impacts will be.”

He contrasts this with the most optimistic analysis by Richard Tol, who still thinks the costs will be large, but will fall mostly on developing countries. Thoma noted that we in the developed world would still have to help them out. But I think it is far worse than a moral obligation. If the effects are dire on developed regions, there is going to be a great increase in war. And I think it is outrageous to think that we are not going to be touched by that in a big way.

Regardless, the Republicans have shown themselves to be the polar opposite of what is traditionally considered “conservative.” They behave like teenagers who don’t have a care in the world. “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!” That’s no way to run a family, much less a country, much less a global empire. But of course I would think that way. As I’ve noted many times, I am a deeply conservative person when it comes to personal conduct. That’s one of the reasons I vote for the Democrats.

What Risk Is Bernie Sanders Worth?

Bernie SandersNot to beat a dead horse or anything, but have you noticed how many people who call themselves social democrats or democratic socialists seem to be terrified at the prospect of Bernie Sanders winning the Democratic presidential nomination? It reminds me of a line from the musical 1776, “Maryland would welcome independence if it were given, but is highly skeptical that it can be taken. Maryland says nay.” It is as if they are only dedicated to this ideal as long as it doesn’t risk anything — as long as it doesn’t require a fight. And I’m afraid that it does require risk and a fight.

I understand the counterargument: if the Republicans get in, it will be a catastrophe. But this is how we find ourselves far, far to the right after 40 years of this kind of thinking. The Democratic Party establishment decided that it lost the 1972 election because George McGovern was too liberal. That’s such a vague claim as to be meaningless. There were a lot of reasons he lost, of course. A big one was that the south turned against the Democratic Party because of the civil rights laws passed under Johnson. Another was that McGovern was painted as weak on crime and “those people.” None of that should have caused the Democratic Party running to go running to the right on economic issues.

Matt BruenigBut in 1976, they ran a very conservative man for his time, Jimmy Carter. He barely won. Then in 1980, he lost by a lot. This was followed by Walter Mondale and Michael Dukakis. All of those elections were classic economics-trumps-all elections. They were the Republicans’ elections to lose. Similarly, Bill Clinton didn’t win in 1992 because he was conservative but because the economy had tanked. All these moves to the right, have only pushed the Republicans further to the right. So the whole idea that the Democratic Party must move to the right only means that when Republicans do get into power they are even worse than they were before.

Matt Bruenig asked a really good question recently, What is the Left Supposed to Do Electorally? He considered Jeremy Corbyn in the UK primarily, but also Bernie Sanders. Here, all good Democrats know that Ralph Nader cost the Democrats the election in 2000. (I don’t know; that may be a myth; but it is what all good Democrats know.) So Sanders is not running a third party candidacy, and has been very clear that he will support whichever candidates the Democrats nominate. But running inside the party is apparently only acceptable if the leftist loses, as we are seeing with Corbyn. “Similarly, if Sanders manages to win the Democratic primary in the US, you can be sure the same centrist Democrats screaming at Nader to run in the primary will immediately sour on the idea of left-wing primary challenges.”

I truly do not know where I stand in this election. I support Sanders because he is the closest fit to my major issues, which are economic. But if I think he has little chance of winning the general election, I will not vote for him. I am a pragmatist. But I haven’t seen any information to indicate that this is the case. If I think that Hillary Clinton has a 55% chance of winning the general election and Bernie Sanders has a 45% chance, then there is no question: I’ll go with Bernie. If Bernie has a 10% chance, I’ll go with Hillary. But it is worth some risk to get the extra gain that is Bernie Sanders.

Anniversary Post: Justice Sandra Day O’Connor

Sandra Day O'ConnorOn this day in 1981, Sandra Day O’Connor was confirmed as the first female justice on the Supreme Court of the United States. She was approved by the Senate with a vote of 99-0. Could you ever imagine that happening today? To begin with, there is no way a Republican president would ever nominate someone like her. At last week’s debate, Ted Cruz was complaining about ultra-conservative John Roberts being on the Court. According to Cruz, Roberts is some kind of liberal because he hasn’t decided everything exactly the way that Cruz thinks is correct. It’s a good example of what a movement conservative defines as a liberal: “not a movement conservative.” Of course, John Roberts is a movement conservative and has moved the law far to the right on really important issues like voter rights.

Anyway, what I find most interesting about O’Connor is the way she left the Supreme Court. She wanted to leave because her husband was ill. She asked William Rehnquist if he was planning to retire. He said no, so she retired. And then Rehnquist died. So George W Bush got to appoint two justices: one, the aforementioned ultra-conservative John Roberts — the other the reactionary Samuel Alito, who took O’Connor’s spot. I wonder how that sits with her to have been replaced by such an anti-feminist as Alito. O’Connor was conservative in a broad sense, but in the context of today, she has to be seen as a moderate — especially when it comes to women’s rights. Allowing Alito on the Court effectively destroyed all the good she ever did on the Court.

But this day 34 years ago was a special one with great meaning to the nation. We now have three women on the Court. All of them were appointed by Democrats, of course. The only female I can image Republicans nominating in the next 20 years would be someone like Janice Rogers Brown — who wants to take us back to Lochner v New York. I’m sure that if Republicans could find a woman to spout crazy enough things, they’d love to nominate her. But that can be hard. And the crazy ideas come first.

Sandra Day O’Connor would never make the cut.

Vagueness of Intelligence and Unique Contributions

Vague IntelligenceOne of the most annoying thing in the world to me, is when someone tells me that they aren’t smart. I understand: I bring this out in people. I know a lot of stuff and I’m quick witted. And above all, I’m an intellectual. But none of that means anything but that I’m oriented in a particular way. I’ve been carrying around books with me for as long as I can remember. It’s just the way that I am. But that doesn’t make me smart in any kind of absolute sense, because I don’t even know what it is to be smart in an absolute sense.

I do know what it is to be smart when it comes to an IQ test. Those tests measure very specific things. As I recall, they measured some kind of special reasoning — there were blocks involved. And there were “general knowledge” questions like, “What is a mantis?” When I was young, I did very well with the blocks and not very well with the questions. Now it would probably be reversed. I’ve noticed cognitive degeneration over the last two decades. But I’ve certainly gained “general knowledge” at a far faster rate than I have been aging.

There are an infinite number of ways to be smart. All kinds of people impress me with their intellects in various ways. My greatest complaint with people is that they bore me, not that they aren’t smart enough. But I’ve known people who can’t do math at all, who are absolutely brilliant dealing with numbers that represent dollars. I think that shows the way people put up blocks around themselves and stop themselves from being “smart.” But the bigger issue is that no one feels smart because the things they understand seem obvious. Personally, I think anyone who understands the game of cricket is brilliant.

“I saw on Facebook that Rich joined a band called the 999 Megabytes. They haven’t got a gig.”

People think that I’m smart because I am good at the kinds of things that we think of as smart. So we don’t think of people with a preternatural ability to rebuild carburetors as smart. I do! But there is a way that people get a pass by claiming not to be smart. If someone asked me how to solve a differential equation, I couldn’t get away with, “Oh, it’s easy! You just do it!” But that’s what people do all the time with things like rebuilding carburetors, watching cricket, and playing guitar.

Another thing I hate is the distinction between being “book learning” and having “common sense.” For one thing, I have no idea what “common sense” is. If it is so common, why are people constantly complaining that other people don’t have it? As far as I can tell, “common sense” is anything that you know. That’s bad enough. But “book learning” is even worse. It implies that the knowledge wasn’t acquired quite legitimately. Rather than figuring it out for yourself, someone told you. Of course, someone also told them the “common sense” of not running out in traffic, it’s just that they don’t remember it.

But the notion of “common sense” is something more than just a face saving device. It is an indication that everyone actually knows that there are a great many ways to be smart — all wonderfully useful under the proper conditions. I just wish we could get more explicit about that so that I don’t have to hear phrases like, “I’m not book smart, but I have common sense.” That always makes me feel like I’m intimidating people. And I’m really too selfish to intend that. If I find you boring, I’ll just be gone.

All of that was prelude so that I could tell you a story and about how smart I am. The other day, Will told me, “I saw on Facebook that Rich joined a band called the 999 Megabytes. They haven’t got a gig.” Here’s the thing: I don’t like Rich and I never have. But I do know that he has a lot of talent as a musician. So he’s in a band. Whatever.

The next day Will told me the same story. I said, “You told me that yesterday. Is there some reason I should care? I know Rich is a pretty good musician.” Will replied, “Gigabyte?” I said, “Oh! That’s funny. So Rich didn’t join a band?” He told me that he had not. Even realizing it was a joke, I needed to be assured that Rich hadn’t, in fact, joined a band just to make a joke.

At the same time that I was totally clueless about joke, it also bothered me that it wasn’t quite right. I mean, a gigabyte isn’t a thousand megabytes; it’s 1,024 megabytes. Now sure, it’s true that 999 megabytes is also not a gig, but so too is 999 kilobytes. But that’s the thing: I would gladly trade all that mindless digital knowledge for just having gotten the joke in the first place.

It takes all kinds in this world. And I’m happy that I add something unique to my small part of the world. I wish other people were more happy with their own unique contributions to the world.

Afterword

That image above really has nothing to do with this article. But hey: mouse fairy. That’s brilliant.

How “Whites” Washed Away Their Identities

Between the World and MeBut race is the child of racism, not the father. And the process of naming “the people” has never been a matter of genealogy and physiognomy so much as one of hierarchy. Difference in hue and hair is old. But the belief in the preeminence of hue and hair, the notion that these factors can correctly organize a society and that they signify deeper attributes, which are indelible — this is the new idea at the heart of these new people who have been brought up hopelessly, tragically, deceitfully, to believe that they are white.

These new people are, like us, a modern invention. But unlike us, their new name has no real meaning divorced from the machinery of criminal power. The new people were something else before they were white — Catholic, Corsican, Welsh, Mennonite, Jewish — and if all our national hopes have any fulfillment, then they will have to be something else again. Perhaps they will truly become American and create a nobler basis for their myths. I cannot call it. As for now, it must be said that the process of washing the disparate tribes white, the elevation of the belief in being white, was not achieved through wine tastings and ice cream socials, but rather through the pillaging of life, liberty, labor, and land; through the flaying of backs, the chaining of limbs; the strangling of dissidents; the destruction of families; the rape of mothers; the sale of children; and various other acts meant, first and foremost, to deny you and me the right to secure and govern our own bodies.

—Ta-Nehisi Coates
Between the World and Me

Bernie Sanders $18 Trillion Would Save Us Money

Bernie SandersRecently, when The Wall Street Journal wrote a big article about how Bernie Sanders’ proposals would cost $18 trillion, I was mostly pleased. It indicated two things that are good. First, it showed that he is succeeding enough to cause people to notice. Second, it shows that conservatives are at least a little concerned about him. Republicans can just dismiss him as a socialist if they want. But that’s just for public consumption. They know that in a general election, that isn’t going to mean much. Unless they can tie that word to Sanders’ actual (hugely popular) policies, it won’t mean a thing.

The big “$18 trillion” article is an attempt to do just that. But as Dean Baker has already shown, $15 trillion of that is universal Medicare. And if everyone had Medicare, they wouldn’t have to have private insurance (although they still could). And the one thing we know about Medicare is that it is far more efficient than private insurance. And the bottom line is that the $15 trillion would save the private sector more than $15 trillion. James Kwak laid it out:

But we are already spending a ton of money on health care — with embarrassingly poor results. In 2013, total premiums for private health insurance cost Americans $962 billion, individuals and families paid $339 billion out of their own pockets and “other private revenues” accounted for another $121 billion of health care (data here). That’s $1.4 trillion of health care spending, paid for by families and businesses, most of which would be replaced by Sanders’s plan. Project that out for ten years, add health care inflation, and you’re talking about a lot more than $15 trillion.

So how much would Sander’s $15 trillion Medicare for All system save? That’s open to debate. But one of the economists that The Wall Street Journal article quoted, Gerald Friedman, did some calculations. And he found that over the ten year window that we are talking about here, Sanders’ plan would save the US $5 trillion. So if you add in the $3 trillion of other programs, Bernie Sanders would be saving us $2 trillion — or $200 billion per year. Oh! My! God!

Of course, this isn’t going to make The Wall Street Journal sing the praises of Bernie Sanders. They aren’t interested in saving money. They are interested in serving the interests of the power elite — even if those interests are very short sighted. And even if they liked the Medicare for All program, they know that Sanders is going to push all kinds of other policies that will challenge the rich.

Robert Reich wrote a short article about this issue, 4 Reasons Why The Wall Street Journal’s Attack on Bernie is Bogus. Mostly, it covers ground that I’ve been talking about here. But I thought his fourth point was important:

Bernie’s proposed spending on education and infrastructure aren’t really “spending” at all, but investments in the nation’s future productivity. If we don’t make them, we’re all poorer.

This is typical. Bernie Sanders has some great ideas for improving the nation. But the conservative response is not to consider them seriously. It is just to start shouting large numbers that are meaningless.

Carly Fiorina Didn’t Go From Secretary to CEO

Carly FiorinaWhen Carly Fiorina ran for Senate from California back 2010, her campaign was so hapless, that I didn’t even much pay attention to it. She ran against Barbara Boxer — always a bit of a climb for the idiots down in the southern part of the state — in a great year for Republicans, and she still managed to lose by 10 percentage points. The main thing I knew about her was that she had had a terrible career in business. But apparently, in the business world, there is no such thing as failure, so she ran around acting like she was some great hero.

But Friday morning, I was reading Paul Krugman, Fantasies and Fictions at GOP Debate. It’s a good article, but I was shocked by something he wrote in passing, “Oh, and if her life is a story of going from ‘secretary to CEO,’ mine is one of going from mailman to columnist and economist. Sorry, working menial jobs while you’re in school doesn’t make your life a Horatio Alger story.” It shocked me because I had taken that whole story at face value. It’s one of her big selling points: meritocracy and all that — she started at the bottom!

So I turned to Wikipedia. She wasn’t some lower middle class girl who went on to make it big. She wasn’t even an ordinary middle (or upper-middle or upper) class girl who went on to make it big. Her father was Joseph Tyree Sneed III. He was dean of the Duke University School of Law before becoming a justice on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. He was at least a law professor from the time that Carly was three years old. These are all indicative of the kind of childhood that creates successful people. Freedom from want and exposure to the best that our society offers are what we should strive to provide for all children — but don’t.

Now, I’m not putting down Fiorina for this. It’s great that she had this kind of life growing up. But she’s lying about her career — in a big and calculated way. In 1976, she got her Bachelor’s degree from Stanford — a school her father taught at from 1962 to 1971 — I wonder if that helped her get admitted?! She then got a Master’s degree in business (What else?!) from University of Maryland. From there, she went straight into a management trainee program at AT&T.

So where does all this business about “secretary to CEO” come from? Well, after she got her undergraduate degree, she headed down to UCLA to study law. I guess she was gonna be like her old man. But after one semester, she decided it wasn’t for her. So she got a job as a secretary for a real estate brokerage. She had it for six months — I assume until she could start another academic year. So basically: it was a summer job. I’m sure there are lots of people born rich who could similarly claim that they went from “waiter to CEO.”

What’s so terrible about this is that there have been people who have worked their way up in this way — although I know of none in such a spectacular way as Fiorina implies. And that makes it that much worse. She was never one of those people who started at the bottom. She started on the management track and did what was expected of her.

She really is a vile human being. A great social conservative who lies with aplomb.

Update (21 September 2015 8:46 am)

According to Melinda Henneberger, “She worked only briefly in that real estate office before heading off to Italy for a year with her first husband, Todd Bartlem.” So she didn’t go straight off to the University of Maryland. Instead, like poor Americans everywhere, she took a year off to live in Europe.

Anniversary Post: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Ends

don't ask, don't tellOn this day in 2011, the US military ended its “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. It was a terrible policy, because it managed to do exactly the opposite of what was intended. As far as I can tell, it caused the military to systematize the oppression of LGB service members. And as a result, the oppression went way up. Although you really have to wonder about the petty, frightened souls who ratted out their fellow soldiers. These, after all, were supposed to be people who would die for each other. But finding out that one of them was “gay” — well that was right out!

The only reason I bring this up today, is that it’s been four years and the military hasn’t been destroyed. Of course, before it happened, that’s exactly what conservatives predicted. For example, John McCain said it was a potentially deadly distraction. But even at the time, people were noting that most western countries had had LGB soldiers for a long time without problem. But that didn’t matter, because America was “exceptional!” In this case, that apparently meant: totally incompetent.

Transgender people are still forbidden in the military. But this is only because we are incredibly slow learners.

McCain Was Just as Cynical as Trump Is Now

John McCainI have a bone to pick with Brian Beutler. He wrote, Trump Is Far from the Only Republican to Let Supporters Spout Crazy. It’s in reference to a Trump event last Thursday where an audience member said, “We have a problem in this country. It’s called Muslims.” He went on to say that the president was one and that there were “training camps” where “they” want to kill us. Trump didn’t counter him, and instead talked in general terms. Beutler is right that this is a general problem with politics — most especially with Republicans.

The problem I had was that he contrasted it with McCain’s famous moment in the 2008 campaign when he too was confronted with a crazy person saying that then Senator Obama was an Arab. McCain countered her, “No, ma’am. He’s a decent family man, citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues and that’s what this campaign’s all about.” Beutler noted, “The only reason anyone remembers the altercation is because we expect Republican politicians to behave the way Trump did.” That’s true. But if the same interaction had taken place on 17 September 2007, McCain would not have answered that way.

And so you have to wonder: what is that constant cynicism from the media good for?

That townhall was from 10 October 2008 — less than one month before the election. By that time, it was clear that McCain was going to lose the election. The issue at that point was not winning — it was saving his reputation. He ran a terrible campaign. He was a demagogue. He brought us Sarah Palin. I know that McCain was looking for just such an opportunity. And I’ve long figured that it was largely orchestrated by the campaign. People don’t just happen to find themselves in front of the mic at that point in the general election.

Of course, Beutler is not alone in this. CNN is using the same example. So is ABC News. Even CBC is reporting it that way, Donald Trump, Unlike McCain, Doesn’t Reject Statement From Obama Birther. And I suppose, as a way to blast Trump, this is a good thing. But the two things are totally different. Trump is horrible. He just isn’t much different from John McCain.

Donald TrumpWhat really bugs me is that pretty much every reporter who is willing to lay praise on McCain for that successful bit of political theater is also deeply cynical about politics in a general sense. And so you have to wonder: what is that constant cynicism from the media good for? It clearly doesn’t stop them from totally falling for the most cynical political theater of the 2008 presidential campaign. All that cynicism does is poison the nation into its own dangerous casual cynicism.

But Beutler did make a comparison that is particularly good. When Trump was talking nonsense about vaccines at the Republican debate, neither of the medical doctors on stage were willing to correct him. In fact, the meek and mild PolitiFact rated Carson’s apologia for Trump pants on fire. But this is a point that no one made at CNN or ABC News or even CBC. So as usual, Brian Beutler is an insightful commentator, even if he is wrong to give John McCain any credit for his cynical ploy.

Reaping the Seeds of Islamophobia

Glenn GreenwaldWhat happened in Irving, Texas, yesterday to a 14-year-old Muslim high school freshman is far from the worst instance [of systemic Islamophobia], but it is highly illustrative of the rotted fruit of this sustained climate of cultivated fear and demonization…

The behavior here is nothing short of demented. And it’s easy to mock, which in turn has the effect of belittling it and casting it as some sort of bizarre aberration. But it’s not that. It’s the opposite of aberrational. It’s the natural, inevitable byproduct of the culture of fear and demonization that has festered and been continuously inflamed for many years. The circumstances that led to this are systemic and cultural, not aberrational…

But perhaps the worst of all harms is how endless war degrades the culture and populace of the country that perpetrates it. You can’t have a government that has spent decades waging various forms of war against predominantly Muslim countries — bombing seven of them in the last six years alone — and then act surprised when a Muslim 14-year-old triggers vindictive fear and persecution because he makes a clock for school. That’s no more surprising than watching carrots sprout after you plant carrot seeds in fertile ground and then carefully water them. It’s natural and inevitable, not surprising or at all difficult to understand.

—Glenn Greenwald
Arrest of 14-Year-Old Student for Making a Clock: the Fruits of Sustained Fearmongering and Anti-Muslim Animus

Congratulations Elizabeth II, I Guess

Queen Elizabeth IILast week, a great event took place, Queen Elizabeth II Becomes Longest-Reigning UK Monarch. I’m kidding, of course. The royal family is precisely as important to the UK as Mickey Mouse is to the US — and in exactly the same way. But I do find it interesting. The queen has certainly lived a long time. Next April, she’ll turn 90. And her mom made it to 101, so who knows how long this is going to go on. The things is, it doesn’t matter how old she gets. Any actual duties of the office have largely been passed onto the younger generations. And my, doesn’t Catherine look lovely in whatever she’s wearing.

Apparently, I am not the only one who thinks this. I had always thought that John Oliver was rather a fan of the royal family, but apparently that was just a character he was playing on The Daily Show. Last weekend, on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, he was commenting on a comparison that a broadcaster made between the queen and a new train, “You cannot compare Queen Elizabeth to a train. For one thing, people need trains. Trains still serve a practical purpose in the modern era. You’re being mean to trains.” Which is nothing against her. It’s just fate: she was born to be useless.

The previous reigning champ of reigning was Queen Victoria — who only lived to be 81 years old. Better water, better medicine. But how exactly we got from Victoria to Elizabeth — just 50 years later is kind of a mess. That’s one of the most interesting things about the British royal families, it is not simple. Growing up, I always thought it was father to son to son to son. Of course, the more traditional — and appropriate — way for people to become king is just to kill the current one. But it hasn’t been like that for a long time.

In the following CGP Grey video, he goes through the royal family from 1066. They had been at it before that. And it even took another century for them to decide on some rules about who reigns when the current king or queen dies. Or more like 500 years before anyone got really serious about it. And even still, as I’ve indicated, it is a mess. The only reason I know any of this at all is because I’ve read Shakespeare and Marlowe and I’ve gone out of my way to put it into some kind of perspective — even if Shakespeare is a terrible guy to go to for history. This is a great video though:

So what have we learned? People still respect the royal family out of a ridiculous notion of divine right. Yet as we saw in CGP Grey’s video, there is nothing very divine about it. The best you can hope for are long periods of queens like Victoria and Elizabeth where nothing really happens so that people can continue to live the fantasy that royalty are something important — other than being tourist attractions. They really should just open up Disney UK.