Ever Since Marion Davies

Marion DaviesOn this day in 1880, Francis Browne was born. He was a Jesuit, like our current Pope. But he is best known for his photographs—especially for his photographs of the Titanic. He had received a ticket to take the ship from England to Ireland. During that leg of the trip, a rich couple befriended him and offered to pay his way to New York and back again if he would hang out with them. He sent a telegraph to his superior asking for permission. The replay was no, “GET OFF THAT SHIP – PROVINCIAL.” So he did and didn’t die. Maybe there is a God after all.

The writer J R R Tolkien was born in 1892. He was a good writer and I enjoyed his work well enough as a child. But good God, is the man ever overrated. And now, thanks to Peter Jackson and company, he’s more exposed than ever. And you know one of my big complaints about books: padding. Tolkien was the king of padding. And then, to make things worse, Jackson divides The Hobbit into three parts. I hate to break it to the great director, but that was Tolkien’s shortest and best novel. It wasn’t a trilogy! But there is this great John Rogers quote:

There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

Victor Borge was born in 1909. What was he exactly? A musician? A comedian? I don’t know. He was a very good performer. Here he is describing the history of the piano. It is very funny:

The great film director Sergio Leone was born in 1929. Interestingly, he isn’t even listed on the front page birthdays of IMDB. Who is? Danica McKellar who I’ve never heard of. Dan Harmon who I’ve never heard of. Actors I rather like Dabney Coleman (82) and Robert Loggia (84). And of course, bigot with real anger issues Mel Gibson (58). I’ll admit, Gibson is a fine director. But Leone he isn’t. He isn’t even close. Here is the trailer from what I think is his most underrated film, A Fistful of Dynamite:

Other birthdays: Roman philosopher Cicero (106 BC); playwright Douglas William Jerrold (1803); actor ZaSu Pitts (1894); overwrought Ukrainian composer Boris Lyatoshinsky (1895); actor Anna May Wong (1905); the great music producer and arranger George Martin (88); singer-songwriter Stephen Stills (69); and musician who I thought was dead, John Paul Jones (68).

The day, however, belongs to Marion Davies who was born on this day in 1897. She was a fine comedic actor and would doubtless have become a great comedic actor and probably an actor everyone knows. Unfortunately for her, she was William Randolph Hearst’s lover and companion. And Hearst didn’t like seeing her be silly on screen, so with his many connections and gobs of money, he got her to star in historical dramas. She was pretty, there is no doubt of that. But that wasn’t who she was. You need to be careful who your benefactors are.

The only reason I even know who Davies was is because I’m a big Orson Welles fan. In Citizen Kane, Kane tries to make his talentless mistress into an opera star. This was certainly a dig at Hearst who tried to make Davies into something she was not. But it most certainly wasn’t an attack on Davies herself, who Welles defended time and again. Anyway, here she is in her final role—the kind of role should should always have been playing. It is Ever Since Eve (not available on video anywhere), and although it is sexist as hell, it is quite a fun movie.

Happy birthday Marion Davies!

Missing Scene From Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are DeadHamlet Will you play upon this pipe?

Guildenstern My lord, I cannot.

Hamlet I pray you.

Guildenstern Believe me, I cannot.

Hamlet I do beseech you.

Guildenstern I know no touch of it, my lord.

Hamlet ‘Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with your fingers and thumb, give it breath with your mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.

Guildenstern But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony; I have not the skill.

Hamlet Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass; and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. ‘Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me.

[Enter Polonius. Guildenstern turns to Rosencrantz.]

Guildenstern Can you believe that?

Rosencrantz Yeah. What an asshole!

Guildenstern Excellent good friend, my ass!

Charm, Magic, and Kevin King

Kevin KingI wasn’t going to write any more today. I’m tired. Really tired. The holidays wear me out. What’s more, it is new year’s eve and I hate new years eve. I feel like I, as a radical pedestrian, am not allowed to leave the house tonight. I left earlier to pick up some food for dinner. And in that brief time out, someone tried to run me over. It’s no big deal. People are always trying to run me over. I don’t take it personally. I don’t think they know the kind of books I write. I don’t think they know that I am a radical pedestrian who would not only take away their cars, if they complained I would deprive them of life, libertry, and the pursuit of happiness. In that order.

Anyway, stuck at home, I went over to YouTube to check out how many people have viewed my video Tea Party Idiot Rant – Up with Chris Hayes, which is pushing 10,000 views which is a whole lot for a guy who is normally happy with a single thousand. But it offered me some close-up magic to watch, so I clicked. It was a guy doing a close-up linking ring kind of trick and I found it really annoying. But there was a link to The Close Up Magic of Kevin King. Now, I had never even heard of Kevin King but it looked like he did card work, and that’s pretty much the only thing I’m really interested in, so I clicked over.

And glad I was! In addition to everything else, he’s really funny. What’s more, and this cannot be over-stated, he’s charming. I’ve always had this problem with Michael Close. Close is brilliant. He understands all the problems with magic and he does a great job of getting around those and performing magic that is truly entertaining. But here’s the problem: I don’t like Michael Close. I have this feeling that if I ever met him, he would be a total dick. Oh! That’s right: I once corresponded with him. And although it was very pleasant, the man exuded “People don’t appreciate me as much I appreciate me.” And on stage, he isn’t charming. Almost anyone else would be more successful performing his beautifully crafted magic. So that’s what I got from Kevin King.

But before I introduce you to him, we need to talk about another magician: Derek Dingle. Whereas Michael Close is great at taking other people’s ideas and turning them into entertaining routines, Dingle was a true innovator. But he was also, most clearly, a miserable bastard, and I don’t say that just because he was British. Dingle performed with the same level of excitement as the cashier at the gas station: he was putting in his time. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t great and funny as hell. Unlike Michael Close, I would love to have had the opportunity to get drunk with Derek Dingle. (BTW: that appears to be his real name. It sounds like a porn actors name. I’m just saying.) Anyway, watch as he does, one of his simpler tricks, the Fabulous Jumping Card Trick. Watch it, not just because it’s a lot of fun, but because it’s important to what I’m going to say later:

I actually do a couple of Dingle’s card tricks. And by that, I mean that I can do them, I never do them for anyone. The reason is that his personality is so woven into the tricks that it never quite works to do them as myself. And that brings me to Kevin King. In the following video, I think that I see him do at least three Derek Dingle routines: the coin routine, the triumph, and something along the lines of the Fabulous Jumping Card Trick (although the method is different). What I find remarkable is that he makes it all his own. And as I said, he’s charming as hell. You want to spend time with him.

It turns out that Kevin King also does lectures at business conferences about Verbal Perception Manipulation. Basically, he talks to a group and says nothing that makes any sense. There is supposed to be a point to it, “The secret to business success is to communicate clearly.” I, however, have found that this is exactly the opposite of the truth. American business is mostly a bunch of nonsense. So many times, I have seen people get important jobs because they can talk gibberish and convince management that they know what they are talking about when they don’t know a thing. So King’s routine clearly amuses the management types who go to these conferences. But I doubt they learn anything more than they do from his magic shows. And that’s just fine. King is able to make a living. And American business does what all businesses do when they are riding the wave of an empire in decline: through graft and connections and sometimes by buying companies that make money the old fashioned way of producing products that people want to buy. You know, products like Kevin King’s performances.

The Third Carol Reed

Carol ReedWe have a big day for music today. But ultimately, the day belongs to a filmmaker.

On this day in 1853, the great French composer Andre Messager was born. He wrote very lively and lyrical compositions like Solo de concours, which we hear here:

Rock music innovator Bo Diddley was born in 1928. He was one of the most important people responsible from changing the blues into rock music. Here he is doing his signature song “Bo Diddley”:

The singer-songwriter Patti Smith is 67 today. Here she is back in 1976 doing “Horses” and Billy Roberts’ “Hey Joe”:

Other birthdays: painter Louis-Jean-Francois Lagrenee (1724); Miss America host Bert Parks (1914); singer-songwriter Del Shannon (1934); bluegrass musician John Hartford (1937); singer Davy Jones (1945); comedian Tracey Ullman (54); and golfer Tiger Woods (38).

The day, however, belongs to the great film director Carol Reed who was born in 1906. He is known for films such as Odd Man Out, The Fallen Idol, and the musical Oliver! But I mostly know him for having directed one of my very favorite films, The Third Man.

Here is the trailer for The Third Man. It is absolutely terrible. “He’ll have you in a dither with his zither”? Oh my God! But the film really is great. Like The Fallen Idol, it was written by Graham Greene. If you have never seen it, you really must. And if you have, it is worth watching again. It is always even better than you remember:

Happy birthday Carol Reed!

Friendship, Character, and Jon Polito

Jon PolitoOn this day in 1800, Charles Goodyear was born. He was an inventor of processes for the manufacture of rubber—especially vulcanize rubber. What I think is most interesting about him is the fact that the Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company was named after him. But the company was founded by another inventor Frank Seiberling. And he did it almost 40 years after Goodyear died.

The great Mexican muralist David Alfaro Siqueiros was born in 1896. I love his work. But he was a Stalinist who was actually part of a plot of assassinate Leon Trotsky. That does kind of spoil things a bit for me. I’m not a great admire of Trotsky, but he at least maintained many of the ideals of the Russian Revolution. Mary Tyler MooreStalin was nothing but a ruthless dictator. Nothing but the Russian Hitler. And a man responsible for many millions of deaths of his own countrymen. I understand that people on the outside didn’t have all the facts, but I think it is was clear by the early 1920s that Stalin was a bad guy. Siqueiros’ support of him in 1940 does not speak well of him.

The actor Mary Tyler Moore is 77 today. She is best known for the television shows The Dick Van Dyke Show, which ran for five seasons, and then The Mary Tyler Moore Show, which ran for seven. I loved both of those shows, but it was mostly just because they were both so well written. I rather prefer Moore in serious roles. She was amazing in Ordinary People, and even more in The Gin Game. She added a level of fear to the part that was totally absent from Jessica Tandy’s performance of it. I can’t find a clip of that, so here she is in Ordinary People:

The actor Jude Law is 41. By the standards of British actors, I would have to say that Law is not very good. Passable, but that’s about it. The reason I bring him up is that Wikipedia lists him as, “actor, film producer and director.” This is standard practice for Wikipedia and I think it is wrong. Law’s directing credits consist of the “Bird in the Hand, A” segment of Tube Tales. So he directed one-ninth of an 84 minute film. As for producing, he was one of seven who produced the horrible remake of Sleuth and one of ten who produced Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Note that he starred in both the films he “produced,” so the extent of his producing was probably just that his acting contract required that he be given producing credit. Look, I understand. There are actors who really are writers of enough merit to be listed in Wikipedia. For example, Kirk Douglas. But Jude Law is an actor, and a very successful one at that. But he is not a director and he is not a producer. At least, he isn’t either of those things to the level that Wikipedia would list him for them if he weren’t a famous actor. So can we stop pretending? It turns out that Jude Law is also a rock climber. Why not mention that? “Jude Law is an actor, producer, director, and rock climber.” It would make as much sense. And it would be as insulting to professional rock climbers as it is to professional film producers and directors.

Other birthdays: mathematician Thomas Joannes Stieltjes (1856); father of libertarian environmentalism, which is interesting but wrong, Ronald Coase (1910); very interesting physicist and traitor Klaus Fuchs (1911); Bengali painter Zainul Abedin (1914); the great Australian painter Albert Tucker (1914); chicken “nugget” inventor Robert C Baker (1921); actor Ed Flanders (1934); actor Jon Voight (75); musician Rick Danko (1942); actor Ted Danson (66); screenwriter Paul Rudnick (56); actor Jennifer Ehle (44); and actor Danny McBride (37).

The day, however, belongs to Jon Polito who is 63 today. He is one of my all time favorite character actors. He is probably best known for being in various Coen Brothers films. He absolutely steals Miller’s Crossing in the part of Johnny Caspar, the psychopathic gangster with a strong sense of ethics. He is so perfect in that part, because he really doesn’t want to be a crime boss. He just wants the level of respect that is owed to him. And even though he’s the “bad guy” in the film, he’s right. If Leo acted properly, there never would have been a problem with Caspar. And it is sad when he meets his end.

I first saw him in the role of Willy’s boss Howard in the Dustin Hoffman Death of a Salesman. And he’s great. But I would so love to see Polito play the part of Willy Loman. It’s almost like he was born to play it. He would kill the role. The thing is that the role is all subtext—what isn’t said. And Polito is the king of that. Unfortunately, great actors like Jon Polito are generally relegated to supporting cast. And so he’ll likely never get the chance to play the really great roles like Willy Loman or Juror #3 in 12 Angry Men. But as a result, he probably has a better life. He is famous enough for it to be flattering but not so much it is annoying. And he works all the time doing a lot of different stuff. But as a viewer, I miss out. Still, it is a great pleasure to watch him work, regardless of what he does.

Happy birthday Jon Polito!

Elisha Cook and Henry Miller

Elisha Cook JrYou wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. I’m exhausted and angry. I doubt I will write more today after this very late birthday post.

On this day in 1891, the great novelist Henry Miller was born. I’ve never especially liked his work, but he really did revolutionize the novel. Not that anyone really followed in his footsteps—maybe the Beats and Burroughs. I think a lot could be done with his approach to the novel without his various annoying habits and obsessions. I’ve often thought that this approach might work well for me. Anyway, he’s an important guy and well worth reading. His novels were apparently banned in the United States until 1961, although I really can’t tell you why. They seem tame even by the standards of the 1950s. But America has never been as free a nation as people have claimed. And that is especially true from about 1820 onward.

Other birthdays: English poet Thomas Gray (1716); science writer Mary Somerville (1780); inventor Charles Babbage (1791); American novelist E D E N Southworth (1819); Irish poet Dion Boucicault (1820); French playwright Rene Bazin (1853); French cityscape painter Maurice Utrillo (1883); novelist Jean Toomer (1894); Russian painter Anatoli Lvovich Kaplan (1902); comedian Steve Allen (1921); comedian Alan King (1927); music producer and possible murderer Phil Spector (74); and comedian Tony Rosato (59).

The day, however, belongs to one of my favorite character actors Elisha Cook Jr who was born on this day in 1903. I liked him most in Shane and House on Haunted Hill. He’s also great in The Big Sleep. He had a great and varied career. If you were going to be an actor, his is the kind of career you would want to have.

Happy birthday Elisha Cook Jr!

Blackfish

BlackfishThe Q Filmcast guys did Marwencol this week. It tells the story of artist Mark Hogancamp. It sounds really good and I expect that I will watch it at some point. However, it did not seem like a very good choice with my continuing depressive period. But at the end of the show, they did another of their “top three” lists. This one was, “Top 3 Documentaries that SHOULD be Motion Pictures.” Am I allowed to be a pedant and point out that documentaries are motion pictures? No?! Well then, I won’t mention it.

Michael, who is the smartest of the bunch (he gave The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra the highest rating), was nice enough to give me a shout out, listing my top three: Nanook of the North (one of the Q guys is right though: its only kind of a documentary), The Cats of Mirikitani, and Exit Through the Gift Shop. The whole segment was very funny, because one of them apparently has never seen a documentary, so he read some descriptions online and proposed them. Overall, I think the guys missed the mark. I think there are two issues. First, would the documentary really make a good narrative film? In most cases, no. Second, is the documentary already so good that it doesn’t need to be made into an a narrative film. I think Harlan County, USA falls into this category.

But one of the films mentioned (by Max, I think) really caught my attention: Blackfish, a documentary about a SeaWorld Ocra who has been involved in the deaths of a number of people. So, because I’m a total idiot, I watched it. As I said: continuing depressive period. I’ll get to it in a moment. But it would make a terrible narrative film. At best it would be something like Without Limits; at worst, well, Orca.

Blackfish is a fantastic documentary. It is also a sob fest. My heart was broken in equal parts by the treatment of the whales and the injuries and deaths of the idealistic trainers. SeaWorld management are the bad guys, but they are more implicit to the film than anything. The closest the film comes to them is one former trainer who thinks that the whales could be kept in captivity, but that no one is doing it.

The Orca are amazing animals. I’ve told the story before about one who apparently gets annoyed with a Great White shark and so drowns it and then eats its liver. There are also broadly speaking two cultures of Orca: resident and transient. The residents get along fine with dolphins, seals, and sea lions. The transients see them as prey. Anyway, they are amazing and beautiful creatures.

The film starts with an Orca hunt four decades ago. It’s horrible to watch. Most of the story is told by a man who took part who is clearly scarred to this day. Basically, they corral a pod and then kidnap their young (because they can be more easily shipped). The remaining family members hang around, calling out to their children. It’s horrifying. And that sets the tone for the film. It all comes back when a mother and child born in captivity were separated. It reminded me very much of chattel slavery we practiced in his country until 150 years ago. It’s all about money. There was no room for human dignity then; none for Orca dignity today.

There is a lot of emotional content in Blackfish. I jumped out of my seat a couple of times. But there is also a lot of information. For example, despite the claims of SeaWorld, Orca in the wild live to be about 50 on average in the wild. But they can live to be 90 years old. In captivity, they usually die by the age of 25. The film put me through the wringer, but I can’t recommend it more highly.

Also: never go to SeaWorld or any other similar place.

Fourth Time: Reality TV Is Not Real

Duck DynastyOkay, this is the fourth time. Three times before, I have written about “reality” television. And as regular readers know: I hate it and will not willingly watch it. But before we get to all that, let’s address the elephant in the room.

Phil Robertson said some hateful, but extremely typical, Christian things about our gay friends and family members. Just like I wrote about in The Sad Reality of Duck Dynasty, I don’t believe anything these people do or say. In that article, I was reacting to Phil Robertson’s complaints that the “editors” of the show were making it sound like the family were more foul mouthed than they are. Also, he was unhappy about the “editors” cutting out parts of their prayers. As I pointed out, Phil clearly understood the situation. He couldn’t complain about the producers (who were telling the editors what to do), because he’s surrounded by the producers. So he couldn’t reasonably complain about them without doing something like, you know, ending the show. So I have little doubt that Phil’s anti-gay comments to GQ were known about ahead of time by the producers of the show. Phil will be back on as soon as possible and it will all be great for the ratings.

So who, in the end, gives a quarter of a shit about what Phil Robertson thinks about anything? Unfortunately, many millions of people. It doesn’t matter that when the Writers’ Guild of America went on strike, all (All!) the reality shows had to be put on hold. It doesn’t matter that by this time, even a child can see the cliches that riddle “reality” television. Or any of the many scandals that prove just how unreal the whole genre is. People want to believe. And with Duck Dynasty, the wish to believe is on a whole higher level. Because these are “authentic” people who have good “Christian” beliefs. And they’re rich! American Christians really want to believe all that can go together.

By the time the real scandals start to break, the show will be on the decline anyway. I’m sure there’s some infidelity going on. Let’s face it: what keeps most men faithful is the lack of women who want them. And in this family, I wouldn’t even be surprised to see some Brian Earl Schwanke kind of pedophilia. But mostly, as I’ve noted before: this is just a very rich family that inherited the business and the money from daddy. And that’s why I was so interested to see CultOfDusty’s video, Duck Dynasty Is Fake! In it, he provides photos of all the family members before the show. And what do you know? No long beards! They just look like the rich white assholes they are.

Take a moment to think about that. Really, this is important. The beards? The camouflage clothing? That is make-up and costume design. If the make-up union or the costume designers union went on strike, Duck Dynasty would have to stop production. They are in costume! So look, like I said, I don’t give a quarter of a shit about these rich assholes and their weekly business advertisements. But if any of you out there think that they are any different than the Romney family, you’re totally wrong. Growing the long beards and dressing like hicks was part of their business strategy. And if you are a Christian who believes in this “family as commodity,” then you are lost to God and humanity.

But watch this video because it is fucking brilliant:

The Invention of Modern Comedy

Max LinderYou know this is quite a day for birthdays when Ludwig van Beethoven, who was born on this day in 1770, doesn’t win the day! But it gets even more bizarre, so read on. Nonetheless, I’m not a huge Beethoven fan. He was great, I don’t question that. But really: Mozart’s my man. For one thing, Beethoven is a bit overwrought for me. And he only wrote one opera and it is hardly great. What’s most important about the man is that he really expanded what classical music could do. Unfortunately, I don’t think it fully pays off for about 50 years after his death. Until then, we have to listen to a lot of Schumann wannabes. Oh my!

So you are probably wondering, “What’s he gonna force us to listen to?” It’s really hard with the great man. I do think that first movement of the Symphony No 5 is great, but the rest is kind of boring. And, of course, the Symphony No 9 is just flat out great, but do we really have to listen to that again? But you can say that about just about everything he ever wrote. So I give you something you will recognize, Fur Elise. I’m kidding! Even I am not so cruel as that. I offer you something you will nonetheless recognize, the Piano Concerto No 5, better know as the Emperor Concerto. I found what I think is the best YouTube performance of it. It is the Wiener Philharmoniker conducted by Leonard Bernstein with the great Polish pianist Krystian Zimerman. Yes, it is 40 minutes long. But do you have anything better to do? No. No you don’t.

You really know it is quite a day for birthdays when Jane Austen, who was born on this day in 1775, doesn’t win the day! Since you probably just skipped right past the Beethoven concerto, I’m sure you won’t be running out to read Pride and Prejudice, which I think is the best of her work. You know, Persuasion had real potential, but my understanding is that she rushed through it because she knew she was dying. She only lived to be 41. I don’t think she is necessarily that great a writer from a technical standpoint. George Eliot is undoubtedly better in that regard. But who really wants to read that stuff? But she puts the Brontes to shame. Am I being sexist? Well, she isn’t technically as good as Thomas Hardy either. But all of these writers are from the generations after Austen. And reading Austen is still fun. What’s more, you know all that modern breezy writing, not just “chick lit” but also people like David Foster Wallace? Where did they come from if not Austen? She is just absolutely great and in a fundamental sense the best English language writer of the 19th century. But we can’t leave without a little something from the great lady. So here is one of her poems, “Ode to Pity”:

1

Ever musing I delight to tread
The Paths of honour and the Myrtle Grove
Whilst the pale Moon her beams doth shed
On disappointed Love.
While Philomel on airy hawthorn Bush
Sings sweet and Melancholy, And the thrush
Converses with the Dove.

2

Gently brawling down the turnpike road,
Sweetly noisy falls the Silent Stream—
The Moon emerges from behind a Cloud
And darts upon the Myrtle Grove her beam.
Ah! then what Lovely Scenes appear,
The hut, the Cot, the Grot, and Chapel queer,
And eke the Abbey too a mouldering heap,
Cnceal’d by aged pines her head doth rear
And quite invisible doth take a peep.

I love that! She mentions Philomel! There was much darkness in the lady. I’m sure we would have seen that had she lived longer. As it is, Sense and Sensibility is a very dark novel if you read it correctly. And she savages the Romantics. It is delicious fun. And no one gets her tongue cut out!

You really, really know it is quite a day for birthdays when Philip K Dick, who was born on this day in 1928, doesn’t win the day. He is the kind of guy I wanted to be when I was young and now I can think of little worse. He was brilliant and pretty much single-handedly changed science fiction from something boring to something profoundly interesting. He was also a nut who suffered from paranoia. I’ll take a more mundane talent along with an easier life. As for his work, there is a tendency to focus too much on his ideas. Although he did have some very interesting ideas, most of them were not thought through very deeply. Check out my article on his short story, “The Minority Report.” But the main thing is that Dick was a great storyteller. Take everything else away and he is still a lot of fun to read. He really understands what ought to be in a story and what is just padding. There is no padding in his work.

Other birthdays: one of the Bluestockings, Elizabeth Carter (1717); physicist Johann Wilhelm Ritter (1776); playwright Mary Russell Mitford (1787); the great economist Leon Walras (1834); the great artist Antonio de La Gandara (1861); if only I had more time I would tell you all about the great painter Wassily Kandinsky (1866); the (Great?) Hungarian composer Zoltan Kodaly (1882); what kind of day is it when Noel Coward (1899) is tossed into “other birthdays”?; anthropologist Margaret Mead (1901); the “great” action screenwriter Shane Black (52); the great comedian Bill Hicks (1961); film director James Mangold (50); and one of my favorite stand-up comedians Todd Glass (49). I can’t help it, I have to break format:

The day, however, belongs to a man you have probably never heard of, Max Linder, who was born on this day in 1883. If you like comedic movies, then you should really care about Max Linder. Before him, silent film comedy was of the style of Mack Sennett and the Keystone Cops kind of humor—outrageous pratfalls and general silliness. What they didn’t have where actual characters who the audience cared about. That’s what Max Linder brought to the movies. He created the character of “Max,” rich man-about-town who got into adventures. The films stand today as satire of the well to do buffoon. His later films are better, but below is an early one (1907!), The Skater’s Debut where you can see what will become of screen comedy and not really change, right through the Marx Brothers and on to Jim Carrey. Note also, Charlie Chaplin was a huge fan and eventually a friend of Linder. On Linder’s death, Chaplin dedicated a film to him, “For the unique Max, the great master —his disciple Charles Chaplin.”

I suppose I should tell you something else about Linder: he suffered greatly from depression and anxiety. He and his young wife made a suicide pact, and the two killed themselves (their second attempt), leaving behind an infant daughter who went on to package Linder’s work for later generations. It’s very sad.

Nonetheless, happy birthday Max Linder!

Mrs. Ah-huh-wiggins’ Boss

Tim ConwayThis just in: Peter O’Toole is dead. He was 81. Not exactly one of my favorite actors, but he was wonderful in some of my favorite films: The Lion in Winter, My Favorite Year, and Dean Spanley. Actually, a lot more than that. But if you haven’t seen any of those films, you’d better get on it! I am truly sad to see the old man gone. Although if you watch him in Dean Spanley, he does seem awfully frail. And that was five years ago.

On this day in 37, Emperor Nero was born. He was dead not long after—at the age of 30. I think he has a bad rap. As for all that stuff about burning of Christians for light at night, well, I suspect that is all a myth. Imagine what people would say of Obama 2,000 years from now if they were basing history on the writings of Pamela Geller.

The great architect and civil engineer Gustave Eiffel was born in 1832. He did extensive work with the French rail system—both buildings and especially bridges. But we all know him because of that tower he built. What’s the name. Gustave Tower? Oh, that’s right: the Eiffel Tower. It was built for the 1889 Universal Exposition and took a year and a half to construct. Of course, he didn’t design it. A couple of his people did. You know how it goes.

A truly vile man, J Paul Getty was born in 1892. But I have to admit, the Getty Center is a wonderful thing. Rich people are generally much more useful to society after they die. I don’t say that to be mean. It is just that Getty really was an awful human being. Had he been born an alligator, I guess he would have been about average. When his grandson was kidnapped, Getty loaned his son the money to get the grandson back. You know what they say: profits first, family second, or third, or forty-fifth, I don’t really remember.

Buddy Cole was born in 1916. I don’t think much of him, but it gives me the opportunity to play this fine version of Rosemary Clooney singing “Blue Moon”:

Physicist Freeman Dyson is 90 years old today. Good for him! I’m not a fan. As for his work on QED, I don’t really understand it so I don’t have much to say about it. Anyway, he is mostly know for being a crank. I don’t mean “crank” in a bad way; I’m a crank in many ways myself. Most people know him for his “work” on metaphysics. He claims that just as all of our neurons go into making up our consciousness, maybe all of we living creatures make up a greater consciousness that we might call “God.” So he’s basically a pantheist, and so am I. But I find his thinking on the matter kind of muddled. And I don’t like the idea of a universal “consciousness.” A bee colony may work the same way that our brain does, but that doesn’t mean that the bee colony has a consciousness. Also he’s been constantly wrong about global warming in his attacks on the IPCC, which has been, if anything, way too conservative. Like I said: he’s a crank. But it’s important that cranks don’t get too much attention. Why? Because they’re cranks! Their function is to push the Overton Window open. But they are almost always wrong.

Other birthdays: playwright Maxwell Anderson (1888); gun designer Uziel Gal (1923); jazz pianist Barry Harris (84); musician Dave Clark (71); musician Paul Simonon (58); and actor Michelle Dockery (32).

The day, however, belongs to comedian Tim Conway who is 80 today. Other than a couple of movies, I mostly know him from McHale’s Navy the The Carol Burnett Show. Here he is as Mr. Tudball with Carol Burnett as Mrs. Wiggins:

Happy birthday Tim Conway!

A Great Filmed Midsummer Night’s Dream

A Midsummer Night's Dream (1996)

I have been treating myself to such delightful diversions as I can find. Tonight I thought of the following lines from A Midsummer Night’s Dream:

Oh, when she’s angry, she is keen and shrewd!
She was a vixen when she went to school.
And though she be but little, she is fierce.

I’ve always liked that line because that is how I like to think of myself. But it isn’t true. Though I be but little, I am meek! But I thought: what a better way to assuage my anger than by watching That Bard’s most successful comedy? If you have seen it on film, it is probably the 1999 version with Kevin Kline and Michelle Pfeiffer and lots of other stars. I recall watching it, but I wasn’t that impressed. Of course, let’s face it: Shakespeare’s “most successful comedy” is a very low bar. Read, it is unbearable. Performed live it can be pretty good. And the 1999 version certainly made a film of it.

I however, was limited to the 1996 version, directed by Adrian Noble. It is the only film that he’s ever directed. He is a theater director and the film is directed very much like a play. Little consideration is given to realism. The only yielding he does to the medium is to introduce a child who is dreaming the play. When the film started, I thought, “Uh, oh!” But it really works. The play is meant to be a dream for the audience. But there is no audience, hence the boy.

There were many other aspects of the film that were play like. I loved that Noble doubled up most of the parts. Hippolyta and Titania are the same actor (Lindsay Duncan) as are Theseus and Oberon (Alex Jennings). All of the mechanicals (except for Bottom) doubt as fairies. And most pleasingly, Puck and the Master of Revels are both played by Finbar Lynch. It all gives the movie an extra dream feeling. Plus: I’ve always found A Midsummer Night’s Dream to have far too many characters.

I loved the art direction too. It is all done with extremely bright colors and sharp edges. It is, in a word, playful — like the whole production. There is no “outside” in the movie. The scenes that take place at the palace of Theseus and the first meeting of the mechanicals are the only realistic ones. I suppose some may take exception to the over-use of doors, but I liked this very much. What’s more, it helps to make the scenes between the young couples work much better than they are written.

The character of Bottom deserves special attention. He is played by Desmond Barrit, again, someone who mostly works on the stage. He sounds and acts so much like Zero Mostel it’s weird. But I don’t think he’s trying. It is just his own style of bombast. Regardless, he’s perfect for the role.

I also thought that Noble did an excellent job of weeding out a lot of the unnecessary exposition. Once Puck sets things right with the young couples, we don’t need to see it resolved. They love each other and will be allowed to married. Still, it is Shakespeare with his many failings. The film focuses with great relish on the mechanicals story line, and rightly so. The fairies are fighting over an issue so trivial that it’s downright embarrassing. And the young couples could have been plucked from any of Shakespeare’s many interchangeable comedies.

But you have to wonder about Shakespeare. The mechanicals are working men. Why does Shakespeare think they have to be such idiots? In the film, as in any decent production, they are very funny. But I can’t really get passed the fact that Shakespeare is saying, “The common man is inferior.” Never has a writer so kissed up to the power elite. And let’s not forget: that’s why he is so widely praised to this day. As the British empire grew, Shakespeare went along for the ride. He was the playwright who always told the royal powers what they wanted to hear. In fact, in many of his plays, it is only by the arrival of royalty that everything gets worked out. It can all be fun, but we must never forget that we are watching the most pernicious of propaganda.

Given all this, I think you can’t find a better version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It is truly a fun movie.

What Shall We Do with Our Old?

D W GriffithD W Griffith deservedly has a bad rap as a racist. But I don’t think he was a bad man. I can’t remember who right now, but there was some southern Republican Congressman who admitted that he grew up thinking slavery wasn’t bad and that the slaves were mostly fine with it. And just look at all the happy slaves in 1939’s blockbuster Gone with the Wind. So I think that we are being a bit harsh on Mr. Griffith.

But I fully admit, I want to find a way to wash away his racist beliefs and the story of Birth of a Nation. But I don’t want to wash away the film itself, because it is one of the greatest achievements in any art form ever. I’m not talking Mona Lisa great; I’m talking Chauvet Cave paintings great. Regardless, the man did have a heart.

Here is a short film, What Shall We Do with Our Old? Yes, it is melodrama. But it was also very true of life in 1911 when the film was made. And it was true in 1912 and 1913 and 1914 and well past 1940 when the first Social Security checks went out. This is the kind of film that should be made:

Today, conservatives want to take us back to those days. Of course, they won’t admit it. They just want to take benefits away from the “wrong kind” of people—the kind of people who “abuse” the system. But even if there are lowlifes who are scamming the system, you absolutely cannot stop them from getting benefits without stopping worthy people from getting benefits. As it is, the programs to help the poor are riddled with red tape while the programs to help the rich are given away with a smile and a handshake.

And who are these people who want grandma to starve to death while grandpa sits in jail for stealing some bread? These are people who have huge amounts of money. But they are committed to a weird idea of Darwin’s theory where only the big and the smart survive. But that doesn’t even happen among lizards, much less humans who have only thrived because of their social instincts. Humans have been taking care of the sick and weak for tens of thousands of years. What conservatives think is “natural” is anything but.

Pete Peterson and his ilk are not just determined to destroy the social safety net. They are determined to destroy human civilization. They’ve bought into the thinking of people like Ayn Rand and Milton Friedman. In the social “Darwinian” world they want, we don’t end up with Mad Max. We end up with Planet of the Apes.

As confused as D W Griffith was about the history of America, the Pete Petersons is far more so. And far more dangerous too.