Meaningless Chess

Bobby FischerIt has been a strange and hectic day today, so I am just going to offer up a few thoughts.

Mickey Spillane was born today in 1918. I more or less knew that. What I didn’t know was that he only died a few years ago—in 2006 at 88. He was a favorite of Ayn Rand, who had a great love for pulp junk, which is more or less what Spillane wrote. But I don’t claim to be an expert. I haven’t given up many hours of my life to consuming his products. But in his way, he was as good as Elmore Leonard. Admittedly, that isn’t saying that much.

It’s Ornette Coleman‘s 83rd birthday today. I don’t really understand him. He seems to try very hard to upset me. He is probably brilliant, but we all have our limits, and he is one of mine.

Raul Julia was born this day back in 1940. He unfortunately died very young back in 1996. I especially remember him as Gomez Addams. But he was generally wonderful—especially in Kiss of the Spider Woman. There are others. I wish he had lived longer; we certainly would have received another 20 or so films.

Bobby Fischer, on the other hand, lived a good deal too long. Born on this day back in 1943, he lived long enough to show everyone just how crazy he was. However, he did leave a great legacy in terms of his games, which are far more interesting than the games of most grandmasters. This is due especially to his incredibly aggressive play with black. He also understood what was wrong with modern chess and his invention of Chess960 shows how the game could continue to be relevant in the decades to come.

And this all reminds me that life is meaningless and Fischer would have been happier if he had just played more chess, which of course is a meaningless way of spending a life and that is the whole point.

Mississippi John Hurt

Mississippi John HurtOther than today being the birthday of The Skipper, the only person who really called out to me was Mississippi John Hurt, the great blues and folk musician. He had a great story. He was a performer in his youth in the late 1920s. With the Great Depression he stopped doing music and became a sharecropper. And the world forgot all about him until a couple of years before he died. In those last years, he was quite famous in the folk scene of the 1960s. He was everywhere at festivals and on the TV. And then he died of a heart attack in 1966. But it is cool he got those great last years.

Here he is performing “Lonesome Valley”:

Update (30 April 2013 11:06 pm)

I just discovered that the great Broadway director Joseph Hardy turned 84 on this day.

Happy Birthday Lou

Lou ReedIt is March 2 and some interesting people were born on this day. The wonderful Alvin Youngblood Hart is 50 today. John Irving is 71 today. The genuinely great Mikhail Gorbachev is 82. John Cullum, the fine musical theater actor, is 83. Theodor Seuss Geisel — Dr Seuss — would have been 109 today, but he died at a reasonable age. And Kurt Weill would have been 113. All of these men are or were greater than the man I want to discuss.

When I was younger, I loved Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground. Like many people, I was inspired by Reed. I remember Iggy Pop claiming he got into music after seeing the Velvets because he realized that like Reed, he too was ugly with limited talent. I don’t mean to rag on the man. He’s a pretty good songwriter and what’s more important, he has written about interesting things. The real problem with him is his pretense to be a real poet. He’s at his best when he lets his id fly. When he overthinks something, it means disaster because Reed isn’t a great thinker.

Another aspect of Reed is that he’s an asshole. When I first got into him, I researched him, which is SOP for me. And in those few interviews that he did, he always came off as a total dick. I remember him ranting about how he was a published poet and how people ought to respect him more. (I too am a published poet, and in better journals than he was in 1972. Who cares?!) Then I read Diana Clapton’s biography of him, which was no kind of hit job — she was a fan. One of the most detailed chapters was an interview with a young guitarist who toured with Reed. His treatment by the star was absolutely terrible. And then there was the whole thing about Reed not allowing Doug Yule to be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. (I think that Yule is the real hero of Loaded.)

So while I loved Reed’s music, I was well aware that he was no kind of decent human being. And as I wrote and performed music, I had recurring dreams in which he would appear and abuse me in various ways. This mostly took the form of telling me that I was a no-talent and that I should give up. And that was doubtless good advice!

After a couple of years during which Reed basically never performed (once at the Bottom Line, as I recall), he came to California. He was performing at the Great America theme park. So my friend Will and I went. We are wandering around the park waiting for the concert and we come upon Reed, surrounded by four beefy men. They are all looking up at the Edge, a free-fall ride. So I walk right up to him. I have this ability. I am literally as threatening as a mosquito, so bodyguards don’t even seem to notice me. Lou looks down at me. He is not pleased. He looks at his bodyguards like, “What the fuck?!” I absolutely don’t know what to say so I ask for an autograph. He frowns and sighs almost hard enough to blow me over. “You got a pen?” he asks. I pat my pants. He shrugs, turns, and walks away.

It was a wonderful moment because it was the same dynamic in my dream: dismissive and bothered. This isn’t surprising, given that I knew the kind of guy he was. Some artists love fans because it makes them feel valid, but artists like Reed need to trivialize fans because they make them feel less valid — like teen idols or something. Of course, Reed isn’t that famous. I doubt that 1% of the people in the country would recognize his face. Perhaps 5% would recognize “Walk on the Wild Side,” and frankly, that’s because of David Bowie and Mick Ronson.

The other important performer from that time was Jonathan Richman, who was also a huge Velvet Underground fan. Admittedly, Richman has on average been a disappointment. He has a very poor work ethic. But his best work is better than Reed’s best. Plus, he never tortured me in my dreams. And I’ve met him many times and he is a very friendly guy. That isn’t to say that he’s an angel — just that his particular demons don’t require him to dump on everyone around him.

But given that it is Reed’s 71st birthday, here’s hoping it is a Perfect Day.[1] I’m sure this article will help.

Afterword

I always thought that Wikipedia had a mechanism that automatically updated the ages of people. But this isn’t the case. People apparently have to do it manually. Justin Bieber’s age was updated at midnight East Coast time. Lou Reed’s birthday got updated during the writing of this. John Irving’s birthday hasn’t been updated.

Antoine-Frederic Gresnick lived at the same time as Mozart and composed pieces that can easily be mistaken for him. He was born today in 1755. Here is his Symphonie Concertante in B-flat Major. It is delightful:


[1] I still love this song, but I can have a hard time listening to it now. How could they allow some of the notes to be so out of tune?! I don’t care that much about pitch and I don’t have that great an ear, but jeez!

See also: Lou Reed Sowed and Reaped for 71 Years.

Justin Bieber’s 12th Birthday

Justin Bieber on his 12th BirthdayJustin Bieber turns 12 today. It is the eighth time he has turned 12. He’s like Peter Pan: he can’t grow up. I don’t know why Peter Pan couldn’t grow up. In Justin Bieber’s case, it would ruin his brand.

I am quite serious when I say that Bieber’s entire brand is being a cute little boy. This is also Taylor Swift’s brand. But it isn’t her birthday.

I don’t have a lot more to say about Bieber than I’ve already said. Let me just quote from my article, Justin Bieber and the End of Western Culture:

From the first syllable out of Bieber’s mouth, I was assaulted by the worst technological innovation since the atomic bomb: pitch correction. I hear it everywhere. It first came to prominence in Cher’s hit Believe (You know: “Do you believe in love after love?”). The effect on Cher’s voice is pitch correction used at a high level. But it was an effect. It wasn’t being used because Cher (1) couldn’t sing in tune or (2) had a very weak voice that required some help. After that song, the effect became a fad. It finally died away, but afterwards, there was this residue of the stuff. I could always hear this effect used on some (many) singers’ voices. It wasn’t as strong as in the case of Believe, but it was there nonetheless. And then it hit me: these people (e.g. Taylor Swift) couldn’t sing in tune! Why not? That makes the job of record companies much easier: find someone cute who can move. The pitch correction works in real time, so these tone-deaf savants can even perform live. Ladies and gentlemen: Island Records recording artist Justin Bieber!

So happy birthday Young Bieber. Thank you for doing your best to destroy my culture. My mother always said, “Go with your strengths!” And that seems to be yours.

Afterword

Some decent artists or at least entertainers were born today. Ron Howard is 59. The fine young British actor Jack Davenport is 39. Alan Thicke is 66. The last remaining Hogan’s Hero, Robert Clary is 87. The fine actress Joan Hackett would have been 79 today, but she died at 49 of ovarian cancer.

Gratefully, we don’t need to suffer through another year with Robert Bork on the planet. But he did make it to 85. What is it with conservatives? Do they live so long because they’re rich or is it just to spite the world?

100 Years of Irwin Shaw

Irwin ShawOne hundred years ago today the great writer Irwin Shaw was born. About a year ago, I spent a couple of weeks with his Short Stories, Five Decades. It reminded me of when I first started writing about 25 years ago. I became obsessed with his short story “The Eighty-Yard Run.” I read it again and again. It tells the story of a man’s life from one day in high school that he looks back on as the pinnacle: an eighty-yard touchdown run during football practice. It is perceptive that Shaw used this example. In one way, anyone can understand that doing this would make a boy feel very good about himself. Life is like that: relatively little things can put on shine on life. But another way of looking it is that it is pathetic. It is high school and it isn’t even a game — just a practice.

All of Shaw’s work is filled with unspoken truths. No one ever seems quite able to communicate what they think and feel — even to themselves. Everyone is left with the vague sadness that you think life is really all about when you are young. Of course, as you get older, you learn first hand that this is exactly what life is about. The one thing we all share is regret about everything. Shaw conveys this idea with an expansive collection of characters and their stories.

Shaw is kind of a guys’s writer. Most of his characters are men. He still does an excellent job with female characters but he never provides the kind of depth that he often does for his men. There are certainly similarities with Hemingway — especially at his best in The Sun Also Rises and The Old Man and the Sea. But Hemingway is notably weaker. His female characters speak of a man who only ever had much contact with women through prostitutes. And there is a great deal of insecurity in his work, as though he were trying to prove he was a real man. With Shaw, there is no such problem — men just are what they are without editorializing.

Shaw has also written a lot of plays and novels. He got his start writing for radio. I can’t speak to any of that. He had some notable popular successes as with his novel Rich Man, Poor Man. I recommend checking out his short stories.

Afterword

There are a few other notable birthdays today. Peter Stone would have been 83 today. He was a playwright who also wrote some notable screenplays like Charade. Joanne Woodward is 83 today. She starred in one of my favorite movies, They Might Be Giants. And Elizabeth Taylor would have been 81 today. She was known for being Elizabeth Taylor.

Ralph Nader was born in 1934 on this day. Chelsea Clinton, 1980. Peter De Vries, himself quite a good writer, was born on this day in 1910. He wrote some fun novels.

Oh yeah: some guy named John Steinbeck was born on this day in 1902. I’ve heard that he wrote some novels or something. “Angry Grapes”? “Bitter Prunes”? Something like that.

Seagullible

Sea GullOne day when I was at college, a classmate asked, “Did you know the word gullible is not in the Dictionary?” Like an idiot, I said, “Really?!” It took me a half hour to get the joke. I am a gullible person—or at least very trusting. So I hate April Fools Day. I’ll believe anything. But I assume you are not as gullible as I am.

I discovered an amazing book on word origins titled The Surprising History of Common Words by I. A. L. Diamond. I was particularly taken with these histories:

Pen
Definition: a public institution in which offenders against the law are confined. History: People often assume that “pen” either refers to an enclosed structure as for a farm animal or is an abbreviation of the word penitentiary. In fact, it is an abbreviation, but for the word penultimate, as in: he is going to the penultimate before he goes somewhere else.
Gullible
Definition: easily duped or cheated. History: From the late 16th century popularity of “sea gull poker,” an easy mark was considered “seagullible.” The word was shortened to “gullible” in the 19th century during the great “sea” shortage, which caused great harm to the oceanographic sciences.

It turns out “seagullible” is not in the dictionary. Can you believe it?!