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Obama has announced that a debt limit deal is in the works that “is a victory for bipartisan compromise, for the economy and for the American people.” This is rubbish, of course; but even if it were true, Mark 8:36 comes to mind: for what does it profit a politician to gain the whole center, and forfeit his base? And I very much doubt he has gained the center.

When it comes to a steak, cooking directions are clear. Rare, a steak is warm but uncooked in the center. Medium, it is pink in the middle. And well-done, a steak has no pink whatsoever. The reason it is safe to eat a rare steak is that disease is primarily limited to the surface, so as long as the outside is cooked, all is well.

The same does not apply to hamburger. Since hamburger is ground up steak, it is essentially all surface. As a result, hamburger should never be served or eaten rare (or medium—whatever that means for hamburger). Because hamburger is all surface, it has no middle.

When I first saw the movie Pulp Fiction, I was struck by the scene when Vincent takes Mia out to dinner at Jack Rabbit Slim’s. Mia orders a hamburger and their waiter, Buddy Holly (Steve Buscemi), asks, “How would you like that? Burnt to a crisp or bloody as hell?”[1] This was the first time I had ever heard someone ask how a patron wanted a hamburger cooked. Since then, it has been a common occurrence.

It happened to me today. I had lunch with my father and we got hamburgers. I ordered mine well-done, after bristling over the question; my father ordered his medium. When they arrived, they were identical: burnt to a crisp, which is probably for the best. Many times, I have seen companions who ordered medium or rare burgers get just what they asked for: a bad tasting, potentially deadly uncooked sandwich.

I like my steaks cooked very rare. As I tear into my partly cooked meat, I am reminded of the feeding of the big cats at the San Francisco Zoo. There is something primal about it—in addition to delicious. Hamburgers are another thing altogether. There is really only one way to cook them: enough to be safe and tasty, not enough to be dry and tasteless.

Unfortunately, I think the reason there has been this rise in the popularity of the bloody burger is that people think it is cool to eat meat rare. Certainly I think of people who order well-done (or even medium) steaks as clueless dolts who don’t properly appreciate beef. But there are plenty of people who eat their steaks rare not because they like it but because they think they should. Perhaps this is even most people. It is not surprising then that they would ignorantly take cooking directions designed for steaks and apply them to hamburger. It is, however, surprising that restaurants would go along.

Death to the bloody burger!

[1] This is not exactly right. Buddy Holly asks this of Vincent. When it comes to Mia, I believe she orders her hamburger and then adds, “Bloody.” But had she not said that, I feel sure that Buddy would have asked her.

Sixpence None the Richer had a huge hit in the late 90s called Kiss Me. And why not? It is a sweet song, well executed. But I have a hard time believing that the success of the song was not, at least in part, due to the wonderfully romantic video (no doubt indicative of the whole marketing campaign once the song got a little traction) that went along with it. Take a look at this horrible (sorry) copy:

What is most remarkable about this video to me is how much they managed to change the look of Leigh Nash. When the song was released, she did not look like this. Here is what she looked like:

I doubt it is just me who thinks this is a modern “in your face” gal! This is the kind of woman with the intelligence and drive to get to the top of the music business. That girl (and I do mean “girl”) in the video is a marketing department creation intended to make men feel warm and protective. This works perfectly with the fragility of the song’s production. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. But there is little doubt that if she and the rest of the band got past their anemic Christian “good boys and girls” mentality, they might be able to produce engaging adult music, and not just the occasional well-produced cover.

It has been hard for me over the past couple of weeks to write much of anything because of my anxiety regarding the debt limit. More and more, I think it is all just hopeless. As it is, even the supposedly good guys are offering only bad solutions. It all means that soon I should be back to doing what I was born to do: write about obscure things few people are interested in. But I’m not there yet. Until I am, here is an exceptional short video by the great Robert Reich.

Breast Milk Baby — a doll for children with breast-feeding-zealot mothers or, possibly, adults with fetishes that really shouldn’t be indulged.

This isn’t the first baby doll to cause offense. Back in the 1970s the Archie Bunker’s Grandson Joey doll protruded his way outside of the box, being a cute little bundle of vinyl with an itty-bitty penis. Many people at the time were horrified and disgusted. I suspect the doll was purchased more for its novelty than the intention of letting little girls actually play with it. It seemed freakish somehow (in the junk-free world of dolls) to have a gender-specific baby doll. It’s much easier to make them all girls (implied by their clothing, not their privates). Today, compared to Breast Milk Baby, little Joey seems almost appropriate.

One of the most dangerous myths in the United States is the belief that governing is something anyone can do, and worse yet, something that only the ignorant can do. Thus we get people like Paul Broun who introduced a bill into Congress that would reduce the debt ceiling. But Broun has other things on his mind like the reduced consumption of luxury goods:

Who voted this guy into office? I’ll give you a hint: it was not people with expensive cars and country club memberships; there aren’t enough of them.

I have heard from many sources that Jewish scholars think that Jesus was a great man and profit, but not the messiah—not a god. This is very strange to me, because if Jesus was not the savior of the Jews—the son of God—he was at best highly deluded.

The issue is very clear, because Jesus made a point of telling people that he was a deity. If one is a god, it is perfectly acceptable—although admittedly arrogant—to tell people about it. Of course, in Jesus’ case, there is something childish about it. Much of what he said could be said by a boastful ten-year-old, “My father’s God and when I die, I’m gonna sit right next to him in heaven and I will be the ruler of everyone!” But if you accept Jesus is who he claimed to be, this is a minor point.

On the other hand, if Jesus was not God or the son of God or whatever (Christian theology is very complicated), he was what we charitably refer to as bat-shit crazy.

It isn’t as though there weren’t always indications of Jesus’ instability. He is highly inconsistent. I think everyone knows Jesus as the “Prince of Peace” and all that stuff about turning the other cheek. But he contradicted this statement, most notably in Luke 19:27:

I know that there have been 2000 years of apologists who have worked to smooth over all of the problems with the Bible and its numerous contradictions. This is perfectly understandable and legitimate if one accepts that Jesus is a deity. But for those who do not accept this, it makes no sense to hold Jesus in high regard. He might have been an inspired theologian. He might have been a great moral teacher. None of this matters, however. If he wasn’t God, he was a nut.

Update (21 July 2013 3:43 pm)

A good response to this is that Jesus didn’t specifically say that he was the messiah. By this theory, those are all bad translations when he answered in the affirmative as to the question of his divinity. Plus: maybe Jesus just meant that we are all God’s children. That more or less invalidates all of Christianity. It becomes, “There was this prophet and we got the idea that he might be the son of God.” That is a fair characterization, but it seems the whole purpose of the Gospels is to portray him as the son of God without making him look too arrogant. I guess that Jesus could have been something other than a god or a nut; he could have been a charlatan.

Eric Alterman often annoys me, but I think he is dead on today.

Unfortunately, I think Obama is addicted to seeing himself as “reasonable” and thus will continue to cut his own throat—and ours along with it.

Robert Reich wrote an excellent article that sums up what everyone should know about the current economy. As he says, this isn’t rocket science.

It is frustrating to watch as those in power repeat all of the mistakes of the Great Depression. I used to think that we would never have another because of what was learned; the Great Depression was kind of like Christianity: my grandparents suffered so that I would not have to. How naive I was.

Who coined the phrase, “coined the phrase”? Seriously. I’d like to know.