About Frank Moraes

Frank Moraes is a freelance writer and editor online and in print. He is educated as a scientist with a PhD in Atmospheric Physics. He has worked in climate science, remote sensing, throughout the computer industry, and as a college physics instructor. Find out more at About Frank Moraes.

Falstaff “Railed Against Our Person”?

Chimes at MidnightI’ve been thinking about Falstaff for a couple of weeks now, as is evidenced by my trolling around over at Shakespeare Geek. So I’ve been hitting The Book (my old and rather bad Complete Works of That Bard), trying to make some sense of Orson Welles’ Chimes at Midnight. In particular, there is a scene after Henry turns away from Falstaff, in which Henry says, “Enlarge the man committed yesterday.” At this, one of the king’s advisers asks, “Falstaff?” That was a bit of surprise, but I wasn’t sure if it wasn’t just because I hadn’t been paying attention.

King Henry’s line is from a speech in Henry V, where he uses it to trap (sort of) Richard Earl of Cambridge, Henry Lord Scroop of Masham, and Sir Thomas Grey:

Enlarge the man committed yesterday
That railed against our person: we consider
It was excess of wine that set him on;
And on his more advice we pardon him.

Going back to Kenneth Branagh’s filmed version of Henry V, I watched and listened carefully: was he talking about Falstaff? No. But that hardly means anything. I knew from experience that Branagh had cut the hell out of the play and added some of Henry IV Part 1 and Part 2—quite awkwardly, I think, which is too bad because Robbie Coltrane is really wonderful as Falstaff (better than Welles).

So I went to the text itself, and the truth is that it could be. Henry gives the speech in Act 2, Scene 2 and we don’t find out that Falstaff is dead until Act 2, Scene 3. So it could be Falstaff he is talking about. But it doesn’t matter. And it probably isn’t. In fact, it is probably the case that there was no one “that railed against our person.” The scene uses it only as a ruse.

Thus we come to Welles’ brilliance as a storyteller. There is a real problem with Henry V: after two Henry IV plays, he is clearly a dick. Welles manages to fix this problem by taking this little speech entirely out of context, to show that Henry really does still care about Falstaff. It is interesting that in My Own Private Idaho, Gus Van Sant uses the two funeral scenes to do the same thing. As much as I like Van Sant, I doubt he would have come up with this on his own. Welles was a great director (film and theater) almost from birth and this is a perfect example of his greatness.

Tune in Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I will write about something else that has been bugging me about Falstaff. And even more so: That Bard.

Update

Make that “today” because it is already tomorrow.

Why Google AdSense Sucks

Google AdSense SucksI had Google AdSense for four months, through most of December. In all that time, I made almost no money from it. That was fine, I understand that Frankly Curious only gets about 150 unique visitors per day and not all of these are actual people. I wasn’t expecting to make any real money, but I wanted to have the system set up. What a mistake.

Halfway through December, I (like many others) received an email from Google telling me that I had been kicked out of the program because of “invalid clicks.” I appealed. And even though it took upwards of two weeks to get into the program, they denied my appeal within one day. What’s more, Google will not explain what was wrong with my site—even in the vaguest of terms. Given that we are talking about only a couple of dollars after months, I do not get it to this day.

So I put up ads for Amazon. This is a temporary measure. With Amazon Associates, people who click on the links must actually buy something. And then, I get 4% of the price of the item (not counting Amazon’s horrible shipping charges). Like I said: a temporary measure.

In the first twenty days of January (After Christmas, right?), I have made twice from Amazon Associates what I made in four months from AdSense. So I assume that Google kicking me out of the program was a crock. I wouldn’t take Google AdSense back now if they begged (which they won’t).

But I still like Google. No other search engine has this site so well indexed, even though according to Alexa, only 8% of the traffic here comes from search engines. (I have readers? Shocking.)

Al Green Not Demented, Just Asshole

Ten years ago, I went to see Al Green in San Jose. It was a very annoying concert. Green finished less than half of his songs. He would start on something, go for a few bars, and then stop the band and say, “I don’t want to do that one.” It happened so often, that I decided that he had some form of early Alzheimer’s Disease. Nothing else explained it.

But then, I heard there was a video of Al Green doing Let’s Stay Together live with David Gilmour on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross on BBC TV. I had to see that. It was just a year and a half ago. I figured maybe Green would just stand at the mic and bob his head, kind of like Syd Barrett towards the end. Who better to back him up but Gilmour? Here’s the clip; watch it; it’s great.

So I guess the Reverend doesn’t have Alzheimer’s Disease after all. It is just when playing before 5,000 people in San Jose, he doesn’t (as they say in the business) “put out.” In other words, he’s just an asshole.

And Lizzie Borden

Lizzie BordenThis is something I hear a lot, “But isn’t it wrong to start a sentence with a conjunction?” (When I read it, there is no conjunction at the beginning of that sentence.) And I always reply, “You learned that in grammar school, didn’t you?” And they always respond in the affirmative.

I don’t know what these teachers are thinking, but I have a guess. Before we get to that, however, remember that grammar school teachers say a lot of things that are wrong. I believe that the rule against starting sentences with a conjunction is to avoid writing like this:

Lizzie Borden was crazy. And one day she got real mad at her parents. And she went into the barn. And she picked up an ax. And she went into her mother’s room. And she gave her mother forty whacks. And then she went to her father’s room. And she gave him forty whacks. And then she gave him another.[1]

Don’t write like that. But don’t worry about starting a sentence with a conjunction, either.


[1] Much better is the creepily cheery poem:

Lizzie Borden took an ax
And gave her mother forty whacks
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father forty-one.

In Defense of Brad DeLong

Vincent Price Strangling HimselfRecently, I published an article Bad Blog Quoting, where I complained about how some bloggers—Brad DeLong in particular—create articles that are simply quotes without any value added. They could, as Mark Thoma often does (and as often does not), just provide the link. I still think this is a bad idea. For example, yesterday, DeLong posted William Hazlitt’s Political Essays: The Character of Mr. Burke, a 2,000 word essay, in its entirety. It is well worth reading, by the way. However, a link and a synopsis would have been better. Yet there is another side of the story.

Yesterday, I found out that the ventriloquist Nina Conti was the daughter of actor Tom Conti. All I really wanted to do was put up some hilarious video with Nina and Monk—the missing link that proves depression is our natural state. But I couldn’t just do that. Posting videos alone is just the same as quoting. Of course, I could just have added something like, “I just found out that Nina Conti is the daughter of delightful Scottish actor Tom Conti. Here she is performing with Monk.” That thought even occurred to me. But unfortunately, we just don’t do things like that around here. It’s against the style guide! (But not, apparently for Curiously Clever which consistently does whatever the hell it wants.)

So I wrote an article about the Best Actor category of the 1983 Academy Awards: Nina Conti Not Nominated for Oscar. Why? Because her father was nominated that year. Also, I got my wires crossed, thinking that Tom Conti was nominated in 1980, which would allow me to rant about how much better John Hurt and Robert Duvall were than the winner: Robert De Niro. Even without this, however, there is the kernel of a good article here. All I had to do was spend an hour or two on it. You can see it in the article as it stands: not only was Nina Conti’s father nominated for an Oscar, but she starred in For Your Consideration, which is about the ridiculousness of Oscar hysteria. As it stands, it is all kernel and no article.

So Brad DeLong has a point. Not that I plan to changed a damn thing. And to prove it, here’s another video of Nina Conti, looking kind of pregnant.

Nina Conti Not Nominated for Oscar

Nina ContiI remember an amazing year for the Best Actor category of the Academy Awards: 1983. There were four actors nominated from the UK and one from the US. And, of course, the American actor won. But that’s not important. There were three English actors: Michael Caine (Educating Rita), Tom Courtenay (The Dresser), and Albert Finney (The Dresser). One from Scotland: Tom Conti (Reuben, Reuben). And the one from America was Robert Duvall (Tender Mercies).

Caine is the curious one on this list, because I can’t remember ever thinking he was particularly good. That isn’t to say I don’t like him; there are lots of good Caine movies: Zulu, The Italian Job, and Sleuth[1] come easily to mind. But is he really all that good? I doubt it. But the only proof I can provide is that he’s won two Best Supporting Actor Oscars: the first for his insipid performance in Hannah and Her Sisters, and the second for The Cider House Rules—apparently for finally being able to do an American accent in an American film. Certainly, Caine’s acting in Educating Rita was nothing special. He has an annoying tendency to over-play drunks. Enough already!

Tom Courtenay and Albert Finney show off just what the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art can do with a lot of talent. (Caine didn’t go.) Their performances in The Dresser are as riveting today as they were when I saw them almost 30 years ago on the big screen. But that’s the thing about great acting, there isn’t a lot to say about it.

Much the same can be said for 1983’s winner: Robert Duvall. He’s more or less untrained, but in America, that’s generally a good thing given the pernicious effect of the Actors Studio on the likes of Robert De Niro[2] (even if there are Actors Studio graduates I like, such as Eli Wallach). However, I hardly think that his work on Tender Mercies is even close to his best work. Whatever.

I’ve left Tom Conti to the end, not because his performance was great or that he is a particularly good actor—he is not. Like Michael Caine, I enjoy watching Conti on film. He was trained at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, but he doesn’t seem to have much depth. In Reuben, Reuben his performance is nuanced, but again like Caine, his drunkenness is over-played, if not nearly so badly.

The reason I’ve left Conti to the end is that I’ve just found out that he is the father of Nina Conti, the wonderful ventriloquist in the mostly awful For Your Consideration—the film that shows what a sham the Academy Awards are. Nina Conti’s stand-up doesn’t have any more depth than her father’s acting, but it isn’t supposed to. The main thing is that, like her father but more so, she is funny.


[1] I’m referring to the 1972 version with Laurence Olivier. I have nothing for or against the 2007 version, except that I haven’t yet seen it.

[2] De Niro is a very good actor, but limited. He is the perfect example of what a lot of talent added to Lee Strasberg’s ideas can do. Imagine if De Niro had been trained in England.

That Radical Shakespeare!

Tempest Film - 2010Although I would feel sorry for them, I do think that children should be compelled to read the Bible and Shakespeare. Yes, I am an atheist. Yes, I think Shakespeare is overrated in the extreme. But a culture must have a foundation. What’s more, I truly believe that any objective reading of the Bible will find it anything but divinely inspired. And those who actually read Shakespeare will see that he has his good and his bad, and that in the end, he is just a middling playwright. May we all know the Bible and Shakespeare until we can all agree on something better (finding something better, of course, is trivial; it is the agreement where we run into trouble).

Apparently, the State of Arizona disagrees. One of the less-reported aspects of the SB 1070 “Papers Please” law is what it says about what cannot be taught in Arizona schools.[1] There is a lot of crap like a statement that students can’t be encouraged to overthrow the US government; the last time I checked, that was already pretty much a no-no by Article 3, Section 3 of that very obscure document known as the United States Constitution. But the law also has some very nasty language against treating people as groups. I’m not against that idea necessarily, but certainly with respect to law, it brings up many possible evils. For example, the truth is that it wasn’t the English who were enslaved in America. Can we not teach that there is a legacy of slavery that affects us all—and in particular blacks—to this very day? Of course, the law is not being used that way; it is only being used against Latinos.

The wackiest use of the law is the prohibition of teaching one of Shakespeare’s more dreadful plays: The Tempest. Richard Martinez, who is representing the Tucson teachers and students in this matter, was on FAIR’s Counterspin today:

With respect to what can be done in class, no one knows. One of our teachers[2] who teaches the English Latino literature class for juniors and seniors, teaches The Tempest. He was expressly told by school officials that he could no longer teach The Tempest because it deals with issues of slavery, it deals with issues of conquest, you know, of people being oppressed and the themes were too racialized and that it was inappropriate within the context of Mexican-American Studies to teach Shakespeare.

Unbelievable? Hardly. It seems to be what we expect today.

But what is The Tempest all about, anyway? It does seem to be performed more than it used to be. Unfortunately. They even made a movie a couple years back that was based upon it. But just as few people go to the theater, few went to see this cinematic catastrophe. But really: who wants to see this? Duke Prospero gets exiled to an island with his young daughter at the hands of his brother Antonio. A decade passes and Antonio is sailing by the island. Prospero uses his magic to cause a tempest, which shipwrecks his brother. Prospero becomes Duke once again, forgives everyone, and gives up magic.

Gripping, wasn’t it?!

And controversial?! All that magic and usurpation? Wow! Gotta keep the kids away from that!


[1] I could find no stories about the Ethnic Studies aspect of the SB 1070 through prominent newspapers on Google News.

[2] Martinez seems to be referring to the teacher Curtis Acosta. You can learn more about the whole issue over at Save Ethnic Studies.

Who is Mista Moose-Puppet-Head?

This is a cry for help.

For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been signing off my email with, “As Mista Moose-Puppet-Head would say, ‘Ha-cha-cha-cha!'” It speaks volumes about who I am and how long I have been, that not a single person has thought to ask, “Who is Mista Moose-Puppet-Head?”

Maybe they all assumed that it is just another obscure reference from a guy known for obscure references. Or maybe they just thought that if someone named Mista says something, there’d best be no backtalk. But I think it all comes down to the fact that unless you know Mista Moose-Puppet-Head, you really can’t care about him. And you should. You really should.

I so wish that I could provide a picture of Mista Moose-Puppet-Head, but alas, I no longer have one. So all I can do is describe him and where he lived. You see, Mista Moose-Puppet-Head was not a nice guy. He was a despot. He ruled over the Puppet Theater and generally abused all of its inhabitants. All except one: the antimatter baby—the only non-puppet in the whole place. And Mista Moose-Puppet-Head? He was this tall guy with a puppet head who acted like Frank Sinatra in Randy Newman’s Lonely at the Top: filled with himself, but a star by any measure.

Mark Neville

The Puppet Theater was a kind of post-apocalyptic universe where all the puppets were safe. Think: Beckett’s Endgame. It lived inside a little magazine called Naked Toast. But it would perhaps be more accurate to say that it existed inside the supremely twisted mind of artist and writer Mark Neville. No, not that Mark Neville. Or that. Or that. Damn these common names! (And yes, I am perfectly aware there are no links there.) I thought my Mark Neville would be easy to find. Certainly by now he would have scanned his Puppet Theater cartoons and put them on the internet! But no. Certainly there would be some mention of Mista Moose-Puppet-Head. Again: no. In fact, Google provides no results at all for the way I believe his name was actually spelled: Mista MoosePuppetHead. There is nothing on Naked Toast or its predecessor Orange Toast.

Could it be that Mark is dead, literally or artistically? What if he is? That’s bad news and there’s only one thing to say.

Ha-cha-cha-cha!

Update

I have managed to find two old chapbooks of Mark’s: The Time Dog (1991) and Died: Not Yet (1992). That second title is a bit ominous.

Opinions Vary on Value of Wikipedia

<%image(20120117-wikipediadark.jpg|450|158|Wikipedia Goes Dark)%>

Over the years, I’ve been highly critical of Wikipedia. In general, I have two problems with them:

  1. Their utter domination of Internet information to the detriment of other sites
  2. Their plagiarization (if not strictly in a legal sense) of other online information providers
  3. Their whitewashing of most historical events
  4. Their large numbers of errors on any subject I know a lot about.

You see, Wikipedia has so many problems that when I try to write a list of two things, I come up with four!

And yet: Wikipedia is a great source of information generally speaking. For example, they’ve done a good enough job of discussing the different English translations of Don Quixote that I have yet to feel the need to do so myself. But I will get to it and I fully expect that it will be stolen by one or more people and put on Wikipedia. But this is fairly minor: I get more from it than it takes. And tomorrow, it is taking a stand.

The English version of Wikipedia is going down for 24 hours to protest SOPA. Good for them! Good for us!

In case you read this while the site is down, here is what they have to say:

To: English Wikipedia Readers and Community
From: Sue Gardner, Wikimedia Foundation Executive Director
Date: January 16, 2012

Today, the Wikipedia community announced its decision to black out the English-language Wikipedia for 24 hours, worldwide, beginning at 05:00 UTC on Wednesday, January 18 (you can read the statement from the Wikimedia Foundation here). The blackout is a protest against proposed legislation in the United States—the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the U.S. House of Representatives, and the PROTECT IP Act (PIPA) in the U.S. Senate—that, if passed, would seriously damage the free and open Internet, including Wikipedia.

This will be the first time the English Wikipedia has ever staged a public protest of this nature, and it’s a decision that wasn’t lightly made. Here’s how it’s been described by the three Wikipedia administrators who formally facilitated the community’s discussion. From the public statement, signed by User:NuclearWarfare, User:Risker and User:Billinghurst:

It is the opinion of the English Wikipedia community that both of these bills, if passed, would be devastating to the free and open web.

Over the course of the past 72 hours, over 1800 Wikipedians have joined together to discuss proposed actions that the community might wish to take against SOPA and PIPA. This is by far the largest level of participation in a community discussion ever seen on Wikipedia, which illustrates the level of concern that Wikipedians feel about this proposed legislation. The overwhelming majority of participants support community action to encourage greater public action in response to these two bills. Of the proposals considered by Wikipedians, those that would result in a “blackout” of the English Wikipedia, in concert with similar blackouts on other websites opposed to SOPA and PIPA, received the strongest support.

On careful review of this discussion, the closing administrators note the broad-based support for action from Wikipedians around the world, not just from within the United States. The primary objection to a global blackout came from those who preferred that the blackout be limited to readers from the United States, with the rest of the world seeing a simple banner notice instead. We also noted that roughly 55% of those supporting a blackout preferred that it be a global one, with many pointing to concerns about similar legislation in other nations.

In making this decision, Wikipedians will be criticized for seeming to abandon neutrality to take a political position. That’s a real, legitimate issue. We want people to trust Wikipedia, not worry that it is trying to propagandize them.

But although Wikipedia’s articles are neutral, its existence is not. As Wikimedia Foundation board member Kat Walsh wrote on one of our mailing lists recently,

We depend on a legal infrastructure that makes it possible for us to operate. And we depend on a legal infrastructure that also allows other sites to host user-contributed material, both information and expression. For the most part, Wikimedia projects are organizing and summarizing and collecting the world’s knowledge. We’re putting it in context, and showing people how to make to sense of it.

But that knowledge has to be published somewhere for anyone to find and use it. Where it can be censored without due process, it hurts the speaker, the public, and Wikimedia. Where you can only speak if you have sufficient resources to fight legal challenges, or, if your views are pre-approved by someone who does, the same narrow set of ideas already popular will continue to be all anyone has meaningful access to.

The decision to shut down the English Wikipedia wasn’t made by me; it was made by editors, through a consensus decision-making process. But I support it.

Like Kat and the rest of the Wikimedia Foundation Board, I have increasingly begun to think of Wikipedia’s public voice, and the goodwill people have for Wikipedia, as a resource that wants to be used for the benefit of the public. Readers trust Wikipedia because they know that despite its faults, Wikipedia’s heart is in the right place. It’s not aiming to monetize their eyeballs or make them believe some particular thing, or sell them a product. Wikipedia has no hidden agenda: it just wants to be helpful.

That’s less true of other sites. Most are commercially motivated: their purpose is to make money. That doesn’t mean they don’t have a desire to make the world a better place—many do!—but it does mean that their positions and actions need to be understood in the context of conflicting interests.

My hope is that when Wikipedia shuts down on January 18, people will understand that we’re doing it for our readers. We support everyone’s right to freedom of thought and freedom of expression. We think everyone should have access to educational material on a wide range of subjects, even if they can’t pay for it. We believe in a free and open Internet where information can be shared without impediment. We believe that new proposed laws like SOPA—and PIPA, and other similar laws under discussion inside and outside the United States—don’t advance the interests of the general public. You can read a very good list of reasons to oppose SOPA and PIPA here, from the Electronic Frontier Foundation.

Why is this a global action, rather than US-only? And why now, if some American legislators appear to be in tactical retreat on SOPA?

The reality is that we don’t think SOPA is going away, and PIPA is still quite active. Moreover, SOPA and PIPA are just indicators of a much broader problem. All around the world, we’re seeing the development of legislation intended to fight online piracy, and regulate the Internet in other ways, that hurt online freedoms. Our concern extends beyond SOPA and PIPA: they are just part of the problem. We want the Internet to remain free and open, everywhere, for everyone.

I’ve thought of another thing I don’t like about Wikipedia:

  1. Their HTML is terrible.

But I’m being nice today, so I cleaned it up.

Woman in Red

Why am I in China? I wish I could tell you. This is not one of those, “If you knew, I would have to kill you.” Although, I will admit that after three days in China, I am inclined to kill just about anyone just because. In America, there is a stereotype of the Chinese being bad drivers. The Chinese are not bad drivers. They are, however, very different drivers from Americans. This is most notable in how close cars drive to other cars, pedestrians, and anything else that native-born American drivers would stay well away from. What’s more, they are very patient. The custom here is that if you are going to make a left turn, the oncoming traffic will slow down for you. And then there is the honking; I’ve know this for years: in China, you can drive a car without breaks, but not without a horn. This is especially important for pedestrians, for whom a honk is just shorthand for, “I’m about to run you over.”

Raining Day Taxis

My co-worker, Jim and I found ourselves a few miles from our hotel on a very rainy day. Just as in America, it is very hard to get a taxicab on a rainy day in China. Why? There are two reasons, one of which is obvious: more people want taxis when it’s raining. But this is not the main reason. It turns out that taxi drivers are contractors, and so they just work as long as it takes to make whatever their standard daily pay is. On rainy days, they reach their quota very early. So, at 5:00 pm, there are more people than usual looking for taxis and far fewer taxis.

Taxi Bikes!

I had no problem walking the whole way to our hotel. I lived in Portland, Oregon for a decade, after all. Just like living in California makes you immune from earthquakes below 7.0, a decade in Portland makes you immune to a rainfall rate of less than an inch an hour. But Jim did not share my history and after a few blocks his only pair of shoes were soaked through. We tried to find a taxi, and they were around, but they were all in use. So Jim mentioned that we could take a bike. These are little motorcycles you ride on the back of (and maybe the back off). And they look something like this:

Our Ride

It took us about 20 minutes to get the three miles to our hotel—although we were told it was only “Five stop lights”! And during the trip, I did wonder if we were going to make it back to the hotel alive. There were, after all, three adults on a tiny motorbike. Jim’s shoes got even more wet, as the driver took us so close to the edge of the road that our feet and legs were brushing the plants that line the sidewalks. And we sped through small lakes upwards of a foot deep. Jim complained the whole way back, blaming me, because I had managed to flag down this product of Chinese laissez-faire capitalism. But I was having none of it. First, as I mentioned, it was his idea. And second, everyone knows I’m a sucker for a woman in a red motorcycle helmet!

Woman in Red

Jim had to borrow my blow-drier so he could get double the effect. I am drenched through, myself. But there is no doubt: those were the best twenty minutes of my many trips to China. You go, girl!

Update

Andrea wants to know where in China I am. It took me three days to figure out how to use the shower because everything is in Chinese! Oh! Well, let me just look this information up on the letterhead of the hotel! Oh! That doesn’t work! It doesn’t have any English on it! I’m in southern China, about an hour away from Hong Kong in a city that is almost 15 million today but was much less than a half million 20 years ago. I believe it starts with an S. But I managed to do some research and have come to the conclusion I am in Shenzhen. But it really doesn’t matter, because China may be big, but it isn’t really diverse—at least as far as I’m concerned. Consider: like everywhere else in China, you can’t get a decent beer and no one knows how to make a vodka tonic. And I was stupid enough to ask for an Absolute and tonic!

An Important Point About Lucky’s Speech

Unknown LuckyLucky’s Speech from Waiting for Godot[1] goes along with my take on the play that the universe is unfathomable and all we have are our relationships. Lucky never says anything, he only starts to and this is why his hat must be removed, because he will simply continue on starting to say something—forever. And Pozzo’s comment that Lucky’s “thinking” used to delight him, I believe says nothing about Lucky and everything about Pozzo. In the end, when you want real answers, there are none to be found. Intellectual discourse only emphasizes that.

There is one part of his speech[2] that is fundamental to Godot, however, and it is at the very beginning. “Given the existence as uttered forth in the public works of Puncher and Wattmann of a personal God quaquaquaqua with white beard.” This is clearly the traditional description of the Christian God: a personal god with a white beard. That, in itself, doesn’t matter; Lucky’s speech is nothing if not cliche after cliche. Where it matters is at the end of Act II, when Vladimir is talking to Boy, who has brought a message from Mr. Godot:

VLADIMIR: (softly). Has he a beard, Mr. Godot?
BOY: Yes sir.
VLADIMIR: Fair or … (he hesitates) … or black?
BOY: I think it’s white, Sir.
Silence.
VLADIMIR: Christ have mercy on us!

Boy is not ever certain what color beard his master has, but he thinks that it’s white. This clear recognition that Godot is probably mythical, and that perhaps Vladimir himself is, makes Vladimir angry. “You’re sure you saw me, you won’t come and tell me tomorrow that you never saw me!” But soon, he is calm like a dog suffering from learned helplessness. Maybe Godot exists, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe Vladimir exists, maybe he doesn’t. Nothing to be done.


[1] Perhaps I don’t need to point this out, but Americans habitually mispronounce “Godot.” It is not pronounced gu-DOE. It is pronounced GOD-oh. I probably make such a big deal about this because I hate the idea of ignorant people snickering behind my back, “He doesn’t know how to pronounce gu-DOE!”

[2] I can’t say a line from his speech, because his speech is only one line—a roughly thousand word line. And again, not a sentence, because a sentence communicates a complete thought.

A Tale of Two Constanzes in Amadeus

AmadeusMilos Forman’s filmed version of Peter Shaffer’s play Amadeus was a huge hit. According to Box Office Mojo it made over $51 million in the United States alone, and this is just the money it made during its theatrical release. You can imagine the kind of money it made worldwide and via tape and disc sales. And it was better reviewed than just about any film I’ve ever heard of. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 96% on it tomatometer. Metacritic gives it a score of 93 out of 100.[1] And, of course, it won so many awards that it would be very difficult to list them without being boring. It was nominated for 11 Academy Awards, and won 8. Amadeus is generally considered a great film.

I disagree.

Don’t misunderstand me, however. Amadeus is an excellent film. It just isn’t up there with the very best films—things like F for Fake or Gosford Park or His Girl Friday or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or The Conversation (to name just a few). There was always something wrong with it—something not quite right. The surprising thing is that I was not able to explained why Amadeus wasn’t quite great until I saw Amadeus: Director’s Cut.[2]

Differences

The director’s cut contains 20 extra minutes, pushing the already long original to a full three hours. Forman has claimed that he cut the film down for practical reasons because it was so long. I don’t believe this. It was already two hours and forty minutes long. I believe they cut it down to make it a more pleasant viewing experience.[3] And is it ever! At the end of the original, I sympathized with Salieri. Sure, he was evil and pathetic—but aren’t we all? However, in the director’s cut, I hated him easily as much as Constanze Mozart does.

Salieri’s Vow to God

The first change is relatively subtle. We get more back story about Salieri and his relationship with God. In general, it makes him a more pathetic character. In the original, Salieri offers God “the proudest prayer a boy could think of”:

Lord: make me a great composer. Make me celebrate your glory through music and be celebrated myself. Make me famous through the world, dear God. Make me immortal. After I die, let people speak my name forever with love for what I wrote. In return, I will give you my chastity, my industry, my deepest humility every hour of my life.

In the director’s cut, we learn what this means. He asks the priest:

If you had been me, wouldn’t you have thought God had accepted your vow? And believe me, I honored it! I was a model of virtue. I kept my hands off women. I worked hours every day teaching students—many of them for free. Sitting on endless committees to help poor musicians.[4] Work and work and work: that was all my life. And it was wonderful!

Sounds petty, doesn’t it? God makes him the most famous composer of his time and in exchange Salieri gives a few free piano lessons? So in just over ten minutes of film, we already don’t like him.

Salieri Hopes for a Fluke

The film continues on as in the original for a while with a tiny section removed where Salieri reflects that the piece played at the residence of the Prince Archbishop of Salzburg (an abbreviated version of the third movement of Mozart’s Serenade for Winds K. 361) must have been an accident. “It had to be… It better be.” It is important to note that this is the first time that Salieri is sympathetic. He describes the Serenade for Winds so beautifully and with such love, his trepidation in the face of a new perfect art is understandable.

The Rape of Madam Cavalieri

The next change is major, but unimportant. It takes place after the performance of The Abduction from the Seraglio. In the original version it is shown very economically that Mozart has “had” Caterina Cavalieri, Salieri’s student whom he lusts after. It is a fun scene, but it detracts from the film. What’s more, it shows Salieri to be obtuse in a way that is out of character with him throughout the rest of the film. On the plus side, it shows that there was perhaps a chance that Salieri could have accepted Mozart if he weren’t, in his own unique way, a bore.

Constanze!

Now we come to two additions involving Constanze Mozart and I believe their absence from the original release cost Elizabeth Berridge the Academy Award nomination for best supporting actress (and many other awards). Acting awards are given as much for characters as for actors. For example, Dustin Hoffman did not get the Academy Award for Rain Man because his acting was that great. In fact, I would argue that it was some of his worst acting. But the part! It screams “Acting!” It calls attention to itself. What the two scenes removed from Amadeus did was deprive the character of Constanze Mozart of her primary motivation. So her acting in the final scene with Salieri has no context, and Berridge’s acting tour de force seems downright banal.

The first scene is an argument between the newly wed Mozarts. Constanze shows herself to be strong and prophetic. And it leads directly to the second, far more important scene.

This is a five minute extension to the scene in the original when she goes to Salieri to ask for his help in getting Mozart a royal appointment. In the original, Salieri simply walks away. In the director’s cut, he makes a sexual play for her, thinking that she will not go along with his tit-for-tat proposal—sex for the appointment. When she does—but in a way designed to make him feel the cad he appears to be—he humiliates her and breaks the bargain they had struck. From his perspective, God is abusing him; God will allow him Mozart’s wife but not Mozart’s talent. From Constanze’s perspective (the objective one), Salieri is simply cruel.

This scene also sets up the most devastating line in the movie. After Constanze undresses before Salieri, he rings a bell calling his servant who he tells, “Show this woman out.” At the end of the film (in both versions but obviously not with much power in the original), Constanze tells Salieri, “I regret we have no servants to show you out, Herr Salieri.” The restrained hatred with which this line is delivered is annihilating. If looks could kill, Salieri would have beat Mozart to the grave. And Berridge would have beat Abraham to the stage at the 1984 Academy Award Ceremony. Instead, her performance in the original just lays there on the screen, and we are forced at ask, “Why is she so angry?”

We also miss the sweetest scene in the whole film when Mozart comes home to find Constanze in bed, inconsolable. It contrasts beautifully with the end of the film when Constanze comforts Mozart in his death bed. A short, but powerful scene.

Salieri’s Campaign of Lies

There are a number of other scenes that generally establish Sarieri as a villain. He spreads the rumor than Mozart molests his female students. He also sends him to a rich but uncouth family who treat Mozart very poorly. And he even tries to set Mozart’s patron, the Baron van Swieten, against him.

The Director’s Cut is a Great Film

That about sums up the differences between the original and the director’s cut versions of Amadeus. As you can see, most of the differences are in the first half of the film. But they affect the second half of the film, especially the resolution. When I had only seen the original version of the film, the ending just didn’t quite work for me because of the confrontation between Constanze and Salieri. At that point, Mozart is all but dead; he is irrelevant. God is nowhere to be seen; he only exists in Salieri’s mind. So the denouement is really in Constanze’s line, “I regret we have no servants to show you out, Herr Salieri.” And this line, as I indicated above is meaningless in the original. I asked myself again and again, “Why does Constanze hate Salieri so much?” In the original, we really don’t know. In the director’s cut we do. Not only that, we wish that she had a servant who was really big so he could show Salieri out through one of their upstairs windows.

So if you want an enjoyable movie with great characters and music that you can watch year after year, buy the original 1984 version of Amadeus. If you want a great film that will thrill you on each viewing, buy the 2002 Amadeus: Director’s Cut. The director’s cut has another advantage: it is all on one disc. The original is on a double-sided disc that must be flipped over after the performance of Don Giovanni. Or own both—probably the best option!


[1] This is for the 2002 release of the director’s cut. It appears they do not have an entry for the 1984 version. It doesn’t matter. The original was extremely well reviewed.

[2] As I think will become clear, most people will prefer the original released version of the film. I’m talking art here, not diversion.

[3] It also had the advantage of changing the MPAA rating from R to PG—not always a good thing, but for this film, I expect a very lucrative change.

[4] The portrayal of Salieri in the film is almost completely false except for this. By all accounts Salieri was a good man who was involved in many philanthropic activities, especially in relation to other, less successful musicians. In addition, except for one nasty comment in a letter to his father, Mozart seemed to get on well with Salieri. They even worked together. And unlike in the film, Mozart did become Court Composer under Joseph II (although he was paid poorly). Also, Mozart’s financial troubles have been greatly over-stated. Most of the money he borrowed was to pay other money he had borrowed so that he didn’t owe anyone for very long. What’s more, his finances really took off the last two years of his life. If he had lived longer, he would have become very wealthy. And finally, he was not given a pauper’s funeral. He was buried in a communal grave, but that was the fashion of that time. So other than little tidbits like the fact that Salieri did have a sweet-tooth, Amadeus is total fiction.