The Rage of the Republican Base

Tea PartyI’ve been thinking a lot about Tom Clancy Combat Concepts. That was the name that actual long-time military and intelligence people gave the thinking of the Bush administration’s neophytes. After 9/11, these people wanted to be “hard” in their fight against terrorism. And we definitely saw that once the documents about the torture program were released. It wasn’t about being effective and getting intelligence. It was about showing the chickenhawks of the Bush White House than they were “strong” and willing to do whatever was required. It’s pathetic. But it is entirely in keeping with what the Republican Party is all about.

Jonathan Chait made a good point recently, Donald Trump, Affect, and the Conservative Mind. In the article, he pointed out that there are two parts to the conservative mind: ideological and emotional. That can be said about liberals too, of course. The critical issue is what the emotions are. And for conservatives it is mostly anger about their loss of privilege. This is a result of conservatism being backward looking. You can’t stand athwart history yelling stop without resenting the fact that history is, in fact, moving along quite well without you.

Chait argued that Donald Trump appeals to this emotional aspect of conservatism. He noted that the Republican Party has constantly appeased the base with ever and ever greater ideological purity. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter. A large part of the base doesn’t actually care about ideology. They are just mad as hell and they don’t want to take it anymore. But they aren’t mad at the power elite, who are the ones who have actually hurt them. They are mad at the minorities and the Muslims. And the Republican Party is the one that is best at demagoguing these issues. But Chait nailed the effect of Trump’s current popularity, “It must be galling for the party regulars to prostrate themselves helplessly before the base, purging any hint of independent thought, only to watch a formerly pro-choice, libertine if not liberal, Democratic donor waltz into the lead.”

I’m not at all interested in Donald Trump as a candidate. I certainly expect him to flame out. It reminds me of the 1988 Democratic presidential election. Early on (in 1987), I decided that there were two candidates I could support: Joe Biden and Michael Dukakis. I picked Biden. But after he flamed out, I looked at Dukakis and found that he was an excellent substitute and that I could easily have supported him from the beginning. That’s what I expect to happen with Trump supporters. They will find that they don’t like some of his positions and they will move from him to Ted Cruz and eventually to Jeb Bush or Scott Walker. Because that’s the thing: in the end, there isn’t any difference with regard to general outlook.

But early decisions are based more on the gut. You “like” a particular candidate. And the Republican base really likes Donald Trump. He is everything that they want in a candidate: he’s rich, belligerent, and not terribly bright. I suspect that the elite opinion against him is mostly just because they don’t think that he can win the general election. That is to say: they too like his style. And why not? He is “hard” in the sense of Tom Clancy Combat Concepts. If you listen to Republicans on the Iran nuclear deal, you will hear this. The deal is not bad because of any specifics, but rather because of some gauzy idea that a “stronger” or “harder” president would get a better deal.

I hope that the Republicans do nominate Trump. If he happened to win the general election, he would be a far less frightening president than all the “establishment” Republicans — Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Scott Walker — who we are supposed to think would be just fine.

Conspiracy Theories and the Yield to Real Power

Alex JonesThis last week, there were two episodes of someone shooting at soldiers involved in the Jade Helm 15 war games that many people have worked into a conspiracy theory that claims it is designed to take over Texas and initiate martial law so that the government can take all the guns away from all the real Americans who have been stockpiling them for the last several decades. You would think that some idiot who is taking this all much too seriously and is starting to use violence would cause people to rethink their conspiracy theories. But I’m sure they won’t. I’m sure instead, they will use the old standby of the “false flag” attack.[1] You know, “It’s just the government using violence as an excuse to call for martial law!”

For the kind of people who read Frankly Curious, this is probably bizarre. After all, Jade Helm 15 is hardly a big subject of discussion in the normal world. But in a particular subculture, it’s huge. That subculture is most associated with Alex Jones and his related media. It seems to also be getting some play on RT, but that outlet generally maintains a certain level of responsibility. On the plus side (I guess), Alex Jones actually seems to believe all the nonsense that he pushes. I know Jones and his followers just think that I’m a stooge, so let me address that for a moment.

I know you are, but what am I?! Really. Because the worst thing about the conspiracy theorists is that they totally miss the very real dangers that the power elite pose to us in their fanciful ideas about black helicopters and martial law. Really, what do these people think is going on? Do they really think that their guns have to be taken away or that the “patriots” have to be sent away to FEMA camps for the power elite to get everything it wants?! I have no idea how they can think that given that those in the power elite already have what they want. Why cage people when they are willing to do it themselves? And the InfoWarriors are caging themselves in a network of nonsense. The power elite don’t have a thing to fear from them!

At Salon Bob Cesca put the whole Jade Helm 15 conspiracy into the context the Alex Jones’ longtime prediction of a civil war between the US military (and police) and the “patriots” with their little gun stockpiles. Check out this little bit that Jones was ranting about a year ago:

[The government] needs the police and the military to wipe out the liberty movement, and we wipe them out… I estimate in the civil war, 300,000 police will die. I estimate that if the military marches out against the gun owners, half a million dead. Two million dead on the side of the patriots. Won’t matter, we’ll have another 10 million where that came from. But it’ll be a real war once they start it.

God, do I ever know where this guy is coming from — and the people who listen to him. These are people who think it would be fun to have a nice little guerrilla war against the forces that are destroying America. In this case, these forces are, well, America itself. But wouldn’t that give these guys a feeling of purpose in the world? In decades past, they would have been members of a union — they would have felt part of something. Now, they are just adrift. You can hardly blame them. But this is a pathetic way to express it. It’s a kind of virtual treason — hoping that your country will turn fascist so that you can fight against it. How about doing a little political organizing?

But no. That’s because the vast majority of the people who listen to Alex Jones are conservatives. So the last thing they want to do is counter the powerful. Instead, they plays these games, just like they played war when they were children. And that’s the problem: they haven’t matured. They probably also fantasize about capturing Bigfoot and becoming Carl Kolchak — two things I was very keen on when I was 10 years old.


[1] I wrote that before learning from Bob Cesca about this InfoWars article, Marines Fired on Near Jade Helm Training Site: Training Exercise Gone Awry? Or as Planned? Because, you know, it couldn’t be some InfoWars loon doing it.

Morning Music: Elvis Is Everywhere

Bo-Day-Shus!!!In order to outdo yesterday’s silly Elvis, we really must go up a quantum level. And that means we must move onto Majo Nixon. (H/T to James Fillmore for the reminder!) In 1987, Nixon released an album with Skid Roper, Bo-Day-Shus!!! And on that album was the first Mojo Nixon song I’d ever heard, “Elvis Is Everywhere.” I didn’t really discover him as an artist until 1990, Otis.

Just to be clear, the song is a celebration of Elvis. It also makes good natured fun of the cult of Elvis, but I’m sure that Mojo Nixon is, like all right thinking people, also a member of that. And the song also makes fun of Michael J Fox, although I think the actual target is the stuffy Alex P Keaton. The best line in the song is, “Elvis is in Joan Rivers, but he’s trying to get out, man!”

Anniversary Post: Robert E Lee’s Resignation

Robert E. LeeOn this day in 1863, General Robert E Lee sent a letter of resignation to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. It was in response to criticism about Lee’s judgement in the Battle of Gettysburg. Davis refused to accept the resignation, and it is hard to see Lee’s offer as anything but petulance, “You wanna fire me? Let’s see how you do without me!” As regular readers know, I’m no fan of Lee. He had the option to lead the Union army, but he refused. That doubtless cost a few hundred thousand lives there. And then he went on to run a good campaign the first couple of years of the war, giving the Confederacy the mistaken impression that it had a chance in hell of winning. He is a tragic hero in the strict sense of the term: he had a tragic flaw. Sadly, it did a lot more than just damage him.

But I’ve always thought that Gettysburg was an interesting battle because it destroys the image not just of Lee’s military brilliance, but of all men’s. The best you can say of a brilliant military leader is that he makes good use of random opportunities. That’s what William Wallace did at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. He never had similar success because he never had similar opportunities. And at Gettysburg, Lee did what all military leaders do: funnel their men into the meat grinder and hope something good comes of it. Nothing did.

A good example of of the hero worship of Lee can be found on the History Channel’s website. (I know: they talk about history on their website?!) It says with regard to the resignation letter, “The modest Lee took the failure at Gettysburg very personally.” That’s a contradiction. Either the entire battle was all about him (taking it personally) or he was modest. But there really is no apologia for Lee that doesn’t go too far. His Wikipedia page is filled with lots of stuff about how he was against seceding, and how he mocked the Confederacy. It even mentions the following information about Lee’s managing slaves, without irony, “He found the experience frustrating and difficult; some of the slaves were unhappy and demanded their freedom.” Uppity slaves!

It would be nice to think that if Lee had been allowed to resign, it might have made a difference. But all of Lee’s “magic” was spent in the first part of the war. What happened from then on would have been done by lesser generals. So he’s a tragic figure, sure. But he’s no hero. People need to get over that. But sadly, many Americans still look up to Jefferson Davis. And even I’ll admit Lee was a better man than he.

Pay No Attention to Iran Nuclear Deal Polling

Iranian Reaction to Nuclear DealGreg Sargent tried to get to the bottom of an important political question, What Does the American Public Really Think of the Iran Deal? He took on two recent polls. One, by Quinnipiac, found that by a 57%-28% margin, Americans disagree with the Iran nuclear deal. But an NBC News poll came out the same day that found that by 35%-33% margin, Americans agree with the deal. Is one poll an outlier? Not really. As Sargent pointed out, in the NBC News poll, respondents were allowed a third choice: “don’t know enough.” Another 32% chose that option.

This goes along with an article that Zack Beauchamp wrote that I discussed last week, Public Opinion and the Iranian Nuclear Deal. In that case, the difference was priming. If respondents were give a little information about what the deal was, they were much more likely to support it. Conservatives have cried foul in both cases. They claim that Americans must be polled in their natural state of ignorance and must not be allowed to admit that they do not know enough.

I think that’s hooey. Polls are supposed to tell us something. Snapshots are all fine. But when one-third of the population is fine with admitting they don’t know enough to form an opinion, it tells us that it isn’t an issue that they care much about. Are we supposed to base our policy about what Americans think regarding a subject on which they will only give an opinion if forced? Clearly, the Iran deal is not going to be an issue in the presidential race for a third of the people. And I doubt it will an important issue for the other two-thirds.

No Nukes for IranLet’s face it: any deal with “Iran” in the title is going to sound bad to Americans. After the deal came out, my father told me that he did not like it. After a heavy sigh, I asked him why. He said, “I just don’t trust those people.” I immediately thought that American media had been completely successful in their propaganda campaign. My father had fully absorbed the idea that the Iranians were some kind of nefarious “other.” So I pointed out that we had made deals with the Soviet Union when we didn’t trust them. And that what is currently said about Iran — “They aren’t rational!” — was said about the Soviet Union.

The big argument against the Iran deal is based on a flat out lie. It took almost two years of intensive negotiations to make this deal. What do opponents think? That everyone was just enjoying the expense account? The P5+1 just came in and gave Iran everything it wanted and then they spent the rest of the time sipping drinks by the pool? The deal itself is actually rather clever, with a mechanism for automatically reinstating the sanctions. All any of the involved countries has to do is accuse Iran. Personally, I find it hard to believe that Iran accepted that. It shows an amazing amount of trust in the other countries.

I think Sargent sums up what is really going on regarding public opinion:

I think the most reasonable takeaway from the totality of the polling is that a very large percentage of Americans doesn’t know much about the Iran deal. Thus, in the polls that don’t describe it and only offer a binary choice, the answers reflect dislike of Iran. By contrast, the polls that hint at the possibility of actual success in limiting Iran’s nuclear program — and only offer a binary choice — register more public support. In the first batch, people are saying, “we distrust Iran.” In the second batch, people are choosing “the thing that seems to make a nuclear Iran less likely.”

And the poll (NBC) that describes the deal in somewhat neutral terms but also allows people to admit to not knowing enough about it get a breakdown roughly in thirds — largely along partisan lines.

I believe in democracy. But this is not democracy. Clearly, democracy is more than voting. But even just looking at voting, there is a lead up to the vote. People hear from both sides. And in this case, I believe the pro-deal side has a much more compelling argument. But there is also a question of why we have a republican and not a straight democracy. And that is because of issues like this. I know infinitely more about the Iran deal than most Americans. But I haven’t read it. I’m no expert. To a large extent, my support for it is based on broader issues: the fact that war mongers always claim that the enemy can’t be trusted; that we have a long history of these kinds of deals working out; and so on. But I think this deal deserves to be tried. And in a decade, no one will know what the big deal was.

The Ruling Class

Robert ReichAmerica has long had a ruling class but the public was willing to tolerate it during the three decades after World War II, when prosperity was widely shared and when the Soviet Union posed a palpable threat. Then, the ruling class seemed benevolent and wise.

Yet in the last three decades – when almost all the nation’s economic gains have gone to the top while the wages of most people have gone nowhere – the ruling class has seemed to pad its own pockets at the expense of the rest of America.

We’ve witnessed self-dealing on a monumental scale – starting with the junk-bond takeovers of the 1980s, followed by the Savings and Loan crisis, the corporate scandals of the early 2000s (Enron, Adelphia, Global Crossing, Tyco, Worldcom), and culminating in the near meltdown of Wall Street in 2008 and the taxpayer-financed bailout.

Along the way, millions of Americans lost their jobs their savings, and their homes.

Meanwhile, the Supreme Court has opened the floodgates to big money in politics wider than ever. Taxes have been cut on top incomes, tax loopholes widened, government debt has grown, public services have been cut. And not a single Wall Street executive has gone to jail.

The game seems rigged – riddled with abuses of power, crony capitalism, and corporate welfare.

—Robert Reich
The Revolt Against the Ruling Class

The Meaning of the Debate I Didn’t Watch

2016 Republican Presidential DebateI guess the big news from last night’s debate is that there isn’t any big news. Ed Kilgore provided a great overview of the whole thing in six parts: one, two, three, four, five, and six. But at the end of the second part, he wrote, “Hard to believe there’s another hour of this!” That was just what I thought at the end of the first hour of the Monday forum. And you can see the effect. The later live blogging is less dense, because it all becomes so exhausting. The main thing that comes out of it is that nothing big happened. In fact, reading it, the most consequential moment seems to be one of the few things I saw in passing.

The only real question for the debate was whether Trump was going to do something that really damaged his standing. As I see it, that could have happened in two ways. He could have been caught flat footed and said something that was stupid even by the standards of the Republican Party base. Or he could have been too staid and non-Trump like. Well, he seemed to avoid that. What’s more, The Toronto Star reported, Donald Trump Hogs Airtime at GOP Debate. They noted that, “No clear winner in debate of top 10 Republican candidates for US presidential election, but front-runner Trump kept focus on himself.” Indeed. The Washington Post provided the times. Trump got ten and a half minutes. Bush got less than nine. And the rest all got less than seven — Rand Paul only five!

If you read this blog with any frequency, you cannot be surprised to learn that I think this is all hooey. Regardless of who the Republicans nominate, he will win the general election if the economy tanks. And regardless of who they nominate, he will lose if the economy stays strong. But that’s just an overview. The candidates do matter on the margins. And Democrats have a built in advantage. All else equal, they will win presidential elections. And the worse the Republican candidates, the better it is for the Democrats. So I am interested in what the Republicans are doing to themselves. And I think that it is great for the country — but awful for themselves.

Just after the debate, Brian Beutler wrote, The Republican Party Can’t Escape Its Past. In the article, he noted that the fundamental problem is that the Republican Party has not gotten over Romney’s infamous 47% video. That was where he said that 47% of the people took no responsibility for their lives. This was based upon the fact that they didn’t make enough money to pay federal income taxes. It was an extremely vile thing to say. The problem with it is that the Republican Party believes that it’s true: 47% of the country are “takers.”

This isn’t just the politicians or even the base. The conservative media is totally behind the idea. This is ironic given that the listenership of conservative media is mostly angry people on Social Security and disability. They are the biggest single part of the 47%, but they don’t see it that way. It’s basically just a racist dog whistle: “those people” get it and they don’t deserve it. So is it any wonder that Donald “I’m very rich” Trump is so popular with the base?

But the rest of the party has a hard time countering him, given that what he says in blunt ways is all that they say more carefully. They can’t say, “Donald Trump is wrong about immigration!” They have to say, “Donald Trump is wrong to talk about immigration in that way.” It isn’t the same. In fact, it sounds bad to base voters who think that the only thing wrong with politics is that politicians won’t “tell it like it is.” So it doesn’t look like the debate changed much of anything. And that’s great for the Democrats.

Sonoma County Fair and Republican Debate

Photo BoothI had a problem yesterday. I got over to the Sonoma County Fair. But I realized that the last bus gets to my house at around 7:00 pm. Stupid me for living in the suburbs. But that meant that no matter how lost I was in the arts and crafts of the fair, I was going to get home with much of the Republican presidential debate still going on. For those of you who want to know what I thought, scroll down to “The Evil No Good Debate” below. For the rest of you, let me wax a bit about the fair.

That photo up there shows something shocking: people standing in line to pay five bucks for four photographs from one of those photo booths. I love those things. But literally everyone has a phone with a camera in it. And there were about a dozen of these booths right there. So clearly, it is a thing. It makes me long for the days when people would go to the fair and the only photographs they would come home with were from these booths. But if people are reliving their childhoods, or just forcing their own kids to, that’s fine with me.

Poster PapersMy favorite part of the fair is looking at the arts and crafts done by local people. It really does make me optimistic about the world. People actually compete to see who is the best at canning food. How do you not love that? Every year there are all kinds of beautiful quilts and knitted and embroidered stuff — really gorgeous work. And then there is the art. I was particularly taken with the watercolors this year. It’s amazing, but subjects that I would find boring in oil, are compelling in watercolor. Or maybe that was just how I was feeling today. The photography was also great.

But there is a whole building with stuff done by children — much of it through school programs. There on the right is a picture of some of the poster papers that the kids put together. In the top right is far more than you would ever want to know about chicken anatomy. Below it is one on photography tips that explains just about everything you would get from taking a class. There were other things. Some of the kids made some amazing furniture. There were toys. There was also electrical wiring and joint welding. I really think the post-apocalypse is going to be okay.

But more than being impressed with the kids — which I am — I’m impressed that they have these opportunities. They have schools and parents that support them. They are able to afford the costs of the projects. They have enough self-esteem to be willing to do it. It is clear that society is working for these kids. It bothers me very much that we don’t do the same for all kids — even in this location. But I know it’s possible. And very clearly, the children thrive when treated as they should be.

The Evil No Good Debate

And then I got home. I actually saw very little of the debate. It was on in the background, but I didn’t seek it out. I saw two parts — and they were not representative in the sense that they only involved two of the candidates. But they were very representative in being totally worthless. In the first one, Rand Paul and Chris Christie got into a very personal fight about NSA bulk collection of data. They’ve been on this for months. And bravo to Fox News for getting them to do it face to face. The thing is that Rand Paul is totally right. But he doesn’t make a good argument for it. And Chris Christie is able to demagogue the issue brilliantly.

The second bit also featured Rand Paul. He was explaining why he didn’t want to give aid to Israel. But he demagogued the issue. He said he didn’t want to continue to give foreign aid to “countries that hate us.” The crowd went wild. Of course, these the same people who think half the federal budget is foreign aid. (It’s actually about 1% — at that includes a lot of quid pro quo.) So that didn’t thrill me. But it is rare that I meet a conservative who doesn’t think we could balance the budget if we just stopped being so generous to other countries.

The Sonoma Country Fair is the sort of thing that the Republicans would claim to stand for. But they actually want to destroy everything that it is. Because ultimately, it is about community and caring for each other. And I understand that they would respond that it is all about the voluntary nature of it. Mike Huckabee is for feeding the poor, as long as the church does it and not the government. But he’s tipped his hand. He doesn’t think he should ever have to pay more than 10% of his millions — which just doesn’t work in a modern society.

What’s more, a lot of the stuff that I saw today was the result of our public education system. During Rick Perry’s “Oops!” moment in 2012, along with the departments of commerce and energy (which he couldn’t remember), he wanted to get rid of education. All the Republicans want to get rid of public education. As much as they may talk about “equality of opportunity,” it is the last thing they want. They want the rich to send their kids to the best schools in existence. Yet they don’t want the rich to be compelled to spare one Confederate nickel to provide poor children any kind of opportunity at all.

So there you go: during the day, I saw the best of what we are. And during the evening, I saw the worst of what we are. I understand why people have a hard time supporting the Democratic Party. It really is highly tainted. But I have no idea why anyone would ever vote Republican.

Morning Music: Yoga Is as Yoga Does

Easy Come Easy Go - ElvisIn Easy Come, Easy Go, Elvis an ex-navy frogman that now works as a professional diver by day and a — Wait for it! — singer by night. It includes a very nice Dolores Fuller tune, “I’ll Take Love.” But we’ve done her. Anyway, I think we may well reach the height of Elvis silliness this morning.

It still boggles my mind all the great actors that these films managed to attract. This film didn’t have the kind of cast that King Creole did. But it did have one of my favorites, Elsa Lanchester as Madame Neherina, a yoga teacher. You should know her from Bride of Frankenstein. Also, you should know her for that adorable little gap in her teeth. Anyway, she actually does a duet with Elvis, “Yoga Is as Yoga Does.” Also included is lots of yoga fun.

Anniversary Post: Love Canal

Love CanalOn this day in 1978, President Jimmy Carter declared a federal emergency in Love Canal. It’s an interesting case. The Hooker Chemical Company had buried a whole bunch of toxic waste. But the area was growing so the Niagara Falls City School District forced a land sell in 1953. The company did warn the school about the danger. But the school went ahead and built. The chemicals were released, polluting the local ground water. Housing developments were built without anyone knowing about previous toxic waste and the chemical company and the school district.

I don’t especially blame anyone in this whole thing. Instead, I see this as a good illustration of why we need environmental regulation. Libertarians usually argue that people should be able to pollute their own property, as long as it doesn’t effect anyone else. But the truth is that we don’t know what the future holds. By the time that the pollution is know, the polluter may be dead — or just broke. Things happen, and we know that we can’t just leave all this up to the free market (and eventually courts) to work out.

Regardless, the end result was that hundreds of houses had to be destroyed — thousands of people displaced — lots of health problems. Of course, libertarians specifically use Love Canal to push their screwed up views of property rights. “If only…” they claim. If only the school board had been held accountable… What? There would have been no release of toxic waste?! What about the externalities of Hooker Chemical disposing of waste in a way that didn’t take into account its actual cost? It’s a typical case of libertarians thinking shallowly, because thinking deeply wouldn’t produce the conclusions they desire.

Inflategate and Measurement Standards

InflategateAs regular readers know, I don’t like football. I’m not that keen on professional sports, anyway; but football really does operate at a whole different level of boringness. If it weren’t for the fact that it is so explicitly violent, it never would have become America’s game. (Although I have noticed that Americans haven’t gotten into rugby — a game that makes American football players look like the masculine pretenders they are.) As a result, I’ve met the whole “deflategate” controversy with nothing but derision.

One thing about it is that it is like the whole steroid hysteria. How is it that people can live in a world where people are born into poverty, lead joyless lives, and die young, and yet they get upset because a form of entertainment isn’t “fair”? It makes no sense. And these sports have had rules handcrafted for specific kinds of bodies. In the 1960s, NFL linemen were smaller than most quarterbacks today. What’s more, “Of the 170 players that have started at least one game as an offensive lineman this season, only 28 weigh less than 300 pounds.” Today, Fran Tarkenton would be a baseball player.

But I found an interesting article on the “deflategate” controversy, Pressure Gauge Discrepancies Undermine Wells Report. It doesn’t directly deal with the question, but it answered something I wondered about: just how under inflated where these footballs? Well, not much: less than 3%. Is this a big deal? I don’t know. It might give a player a slight advantage. But I do know this: no normal person would be able to tell the difference between a ball filled to 12.5 PSI and 12.2 PSI. But okay, if true, it is something — it is an advantage. You have to wonder why anyone would cheat to get such a small advantage. But okay: an advantage.

The most important issue is that it isn’t at all clear that any of the balls were deflated. The officials had two pressure gauges at the game. One of them read 0.3 to 0.45 PSI higher than the other gauge. The alleged deflation was — What a surprise! — between 0.3 and 0.45 PSI. And the official who measured the balls cannot remember which gauge he used for the first measurements. This really should be the end of it. But of course it won’t be. There are too many people who think this is very very important. Above all, it is an opportunity for the NFL to make a big deal about the fact that it takes the sanctity of the game very seriously.

But clearly, the NFL does not take the sanctity of the game seriously. For many hundreds of years, the accuracy of weights and measures have been critically important to people all over the world. People understand that if you are buying a hundred pounds of tomatoes, you want it to be a hundred pounds — not a hundred ounces. But the NFL apparently doesn’t care about the pressure of the footballs in their games. If there is such variability with pressure games at one game, imagine what it is across the league.

Again, I don’t care from a sports standpoint — except that the people who get worked up about this stuff are fools. And I don’t feel bad for the players. Just the same, what we are seeing here is something I’m very familiar with from politics. A particular team, and player, and assistant are being used as a way for a bigger, more powerful, group to make itself look good. It’s pathetic. On the other hand, if everyone decided that football is corrupt and stopped watching it, I’d be on board.

If Only the Democrats Debated Like the Republicans

Scott Eric KaufmanThe Democratic National Committee and MSNBC announced Wednesday afternoon the name of the 10 candidates who will be participating in the first Democratic presidential debate of the 2016 electoral season. Only the top 10 candidates in the five most recent polls will be allowed to participate in the debate, which will be moderated by MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, and PBS’s Gwen Ifill.

The meteoric rise of media mogul Oprah Winfrey (23%) is posing a threat to both establishment favorite Hillary Clinton (13%) and insurgent socialist Bernie Sanders (11%), both of whom must be concerned with what the beloved Chicago politician-in-training might say given that she’s vowed to “hurt anybody” who criticizes her.

Rachel Maddow told Politico’s Dylan Byers that MSNBC has a secret plan to prevent Winfrey from dominating the debate, but declined to outline it in specific detail. “Rest assured,” she said, “it’s magnificent.”

Joining that triumvirate on the Cleveland stage will be a trio of formerly disgraced politicians who have managed to resurrect their careers in light of the multiple indictments against Hillary Clinton for her role in Benghazigate. Anthony Weiner (7%), Rod Blagojevich (6%), and John Edwards (5%) all hope to escape the shadow of their own comparatively minor failures by hiding in the massive one currently threatening to engulf the Clinton campaign.

Some of the more entertaining candidates with whom they will share the stage are the fading Michael Moore (3%) and the ultimate single-issue candidate, Jenny McCarthy (2%), who will no doubt seek to educate both Toby Keith (1%) and Gary Hart (1%) about the dangers of childhood vaccination. Keith and Hart, meanwhile, will do their best to justify their continued existence during the main event…

—Scott Eric Kaufman and Benjamin Wheelock
What If the Democratic Presidential Primary Were as Bizarre as the GOP One Currently Is?