Anniversary Post: Kennedy Assassination

John F KennedyOn this day in 1963, President John F Kennedy was assassinated. This was followed exactly five years later by the release of The Beatles’ White Album. Coincidence? Hardly. Especially when you consider that Kennedy regularly used Paul McCartney as his double. Am I suggesting that it was really McCartney who was murdered in Dallas? No, I’m saying it was Lee Harvey Oswald who was murdered in Dallas. McCartney was murdered two days later. Need proof? The Abbey Road cover: McCartney is bare foot. Do I need to draw diagrams for you people?!

Kennedy’s secretary was named Johnson. McCartney’s secretary’s mother’s maiden name was Johnston. Her father was born on a farm just outside the Leeds suburb of Johnson. Johnson was the birthplace of Christopher Marlowe. As we know from history, Marlowe faked his own death and went on to write the plays normally attributed to Shakespeare. Not as well know, Marlowe was the father of Isaac.

Paul McCartneyThis may seem complicated, but follow along. Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar, Perez the father of Hezron, blah blah blah his brothers at the time of the exile to Babylon. After the exile to Babylon: Jeconiah was the father of Shealtiel, Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, Zerubbabel the father of Abihud, Abihud the father of Eliakim, Eliakim the father of Azor, Azor the father of Zadok, Zadok the father of Akim, Akim the father of Elihud, Elihud the father of Eleazar, Eleazar the father of Matthan, Matthan the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Paul McCartney.

Are you starting to see it now?

Lee Harvey OswaldIn 1959, when Paul McCartney was working with The Beatles, it was really Kennedy. McCartney was in the Soviet Union, following Lee Harvey Oswald. When Oswald returned to the United States, McCartney took over for Kennedy as bass player for The Beatles so that Kennedy could run for president. But once Oliver Stone started making films in high school, the Secret Service decided that it would be safest to swap McCartney for Kennedy. Interestingly, this also resulted in the most productive period for the Lennon-McCartney (Lennon-Kennedy) collaboration. But this is where it gets confusing.

The Secret Service was blackmailed by the Five Families. So to protect Kennedy, who was writing “Love Me Do,” the Secret Service swapped Kennedy (McCartney) for Lee Harvey Oswald. Thus is was Kennedy (McCartney (Oswald))) who killed Oswald (McCartney) on that awful day in 1963. Thus, McCartney (Kennedy) did survive until he was killed by Jack Ruby, who was, of course, George Harrison. But that is a story for another day.

I hope this has cleared up the Kennedy (McCartney (Oswald)) assassination.

5 replies on “Anniversary Post: Kennedy Assassination”

  1. Dono says:

    Not too long ago, I ran across this 2010 classic: “Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison”

    Hilarious mocumentary…or is it? ;) Available from N’flix (non-streamable), but I found it on one of the offbeat ROKU movie channels.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1683472/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

    • Frank Moraes says:

      I’ll have to check that out. I’m glad you picked up on the “Paul is dead” thing. I love all that stuff. I remember seeing a guy giving a lecture (decades ago) about proof that Paul was dead. During questions, someone asked him if he really thought Paul was dead. He said (more or less), “I have no idea; I just think this stuff is really cool!” The problem is not conspiracy theories; it is people taking them seriously!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    I am impressed you kept all of that straight. Or was it really Paul Bibeau as played by SEK?

    • Frank Moraes says:

      By the end of it, it got hard. But I think I managed to get it all straight. Although the Beatles weren’t a going concern until 1960. But John and Paul (John Kennedy) were together by 1959.

  3. James Fillmore says:

    I think there are three stages of Beatles love. Stage 1 is loving Paul, because he writes the simple, very catchy songs children get. Stage 2 is loving John, because he writes the angst-filled, very catchy songs teenagers get. Stage 3 is loving Paul again, because wow. He is good. And what you thought was ironic in his music isn’t ironic at all. “Penny Lane” isn’t about making fun of people with less glamorous jobs; it’s a love song to the neighborhood.

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