I don’t want to hit this too hard, but it is funny as hell. The Los Angeles Times reported, Cleveland Picked to Host 2016 Republican National Convention. I’ve never been to Ohio, much less Cleveland. And I’m sure it’s a perfectly nice city with wonderful people. And I understand: Ohio is a swing state. Good choice Republicans! I guess.
There’s just this one little thing that bothers me. It’s the Cuyahoga River. You know: the river that caught fire. And not once. According to Wikipedia, “At least 13 fires have been reported on the Cuyahoga River.” This is because it has often been one of the most polluted rivers in the United States. It’s not on fire right now, but that’s only because the Republican Party is not able to dictate environmental policy. Otherwise, I’m sure the free market would have it all ablaze.
The big city on the Cuyahoga River is, of course, Cleveland. Randy Newman was being sarcastic when he wrote:
Cleveland, city of light, you’re calling me!
Cleveland, even now I can remember,
‘Cause the Cuyahoga River
Goes smoking through my dreams!
But what could be a better symbol of the Republican Party: a river so polluted that it self-immolates. The modern Republican Party has become toxic with its mixture of insanity, stupidity, deliberate ignorance, shortsightedness, hatefulness, and greed. And through the smoke and flames it can’t see that America is drifting ever further away from it. In fact, the party hallucinates due to smoke inhalation—thinking that it is just what the country is waiting for.
“There’s a red moon rising on the Cuyahoga River”!
Burn on big party—burn on!