Who is the man who would risk his neck for a brother man? Shaft! Who knows the evil that lurks in the heart of man? Shadow! And who shot his friend in the face with a shot gun 7 years ago today? Cheney!
Can you dig it?
The victim was Harry Whittington, who has his own Wikipedia page, mostly, it seems, because he was shot in the face by then Vice President Dick (some names are creepily fitting) Cheney. Some people get all the breaks! As Stephen Colbert said at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner that year, “To actually—to sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I’m dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what? I’m a pretty sound sleeper; that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is [Dick Cheney] really not here tonight? Damn it! The one guy who could have helped. ”
What I find interesting is that Whittington will be 86 in a couple of weeks. Cheney is shockingly still alive at 72. In the case of these men and so many just as wealthy, America really does have the best healthcare system in the world. The problem is that if Cheney, with his bad original heart, had been just a regular guy, he would be long dead.
And that, my friends, is the paradox of life in America. It is safer to hang around a gun totting idiot like Dick Cheney than it is to live a nice quiet, normal life. Because if you are in a position to hang around the deadly Dick Cheney, then you must have access to the best healthcare in the world. It’s only prols like me who have to worry.
So congratulations Mr. Whittington! This is your seventh full year alive after being shot in the face. It sure is great to be rich in America!
Can you dig it?
This one goes out to my brother men Harry and Dick: