The President of the US in Four Tweets

President Donald TrumpThe following four tweets were sent out over the course of a half hour period yesterday. They are from the sitting President of the United States. Do you hear the sounds the clinical paranoia? They are based on no evidence whatsoever. We used to have to worry that the great masses of unsophisticated people would be fooled by things like Bat Child Found in Cave! But now we have a president who believes anything he sees.

These may be the tweets of a crazy man. But more than that, they sound very much like what a five-year-old would tweet. Trump believes the world is very unfair to him. He’ll believe anything that justifies his position. And he displays no impulse control. It doesn’t matter how many times he is shown to be a fool, he repeats the same behavior.

I wonder if Van Jones still thinks that Trump became President of the United States last Tuesday? If that speech really was “one of the most extraordinary moments you’ve ever seen in American politics”? It seems to me that all Tuesday showed was that Trump is a professional entertainer who can, in fact, read from a teleprompter. The following four tweets represent the real leader of the Free World.

Obama Tapped My Phones!

Is It Legal?!

If Only I Knew a Good Lawyer!

Obama Sunk Low During Sacred Election!

Our “sacred” Constitution allowed this man to become President. But more important, roughly half of the American voters thought that this man was not only qualified to be president, but was a better option than a garden-variety, lifelong civil servant. As screwed up as our President is, the people of our country are even more screwed up. “President Donald Trump.” Those worlds still give me chills.


I recommend reading Jon Schwarz for more details. But if Trump actually wants to get to the bottom of this, he can:

Trump has the power to clarify it and everything else about the Russia story right now by declassifying whatever surveillance records exist of contacts between people in his orbit and Russia. If he and his associates did nothing wrong, he has every incentive to do so as soon as possible.

I suspect he will do no such thing, because no one is out to get Trump. But what is undoubtedly true is that Trump and his associates did much that is wrong and so won’t allow anything to be declassified.

3 thoughts on “The President of the US in Four Tweets

  1. “But more important, roughly half of the American voters thought that this man was not only qualified to be president, but was a better option than a garden-variety, lifelong civil servant.”

    To be pedantic…it was roughly half of the ballot-casting American voters, which excludes the approximately 45% of the eligible voters who didn’t vote. So the actual percentage of Trumpkins is probably closer to the final approval numbers of Dick Cheney in 2008; about 25-27% of the total adult population of the U.S.

    Which, in a sense, is even MORE infuriating. As is the fundamental motivation for this ridiculous betrayal of democracy. You can argue that the secession of 1860 was perhaps the single largest, most vicious act of treason in American history. But – regardless of the relative moral positions of the conflicting political convictions over slavery – it was at least a legitimately huge moral issue.

    If these moron Trumpkins had foisted this low-rent Mussolini on us the hold off some shattering Evil, or because of some immense moral crisis such as abolition, it’d have been one thing. But to give us this dope and a government of loopy wingnuts pining for 1929, angry crackers, and wannabe Crusaders because they were oppressed having to press 1 for English, terrified of the ISIS Navy landing headchopping whackadoodles on the shores of the Chesapeake, and send wedding gifts to homos? To elect this transparent grifter and bellowing man-sized infant because somewhere some Negro was getting a government check or some tramp was getting her womb vacuumed? This is kicking our nation in the balls because your fucking Bud Light wasn’t cold enough…

    Fuck but THAT pisses me off.”

    • It’s sort of an odd thing, figuring out the types of Trump voters. Here’s my stab:

      1: “He’s a businessman, and gets things done.” Some of these people are plain idiots. Trump’s played a big honking success for decades, and got his fading celebrity reignited with his dumb TV show. Anyone impressed by these things probably has trouble understanding the guiding principles of a doorknob.

      There’s also people who just assume Big Bizness is smart, because all their lives they’ve been fucked over by corporate jerks. They don’t have enough respect for themselves, and they have far too much respect for mean jerks. These people are not dumb. But they are a very sad example of how our society twists values, and tells us to believe cruelty is preferable to honesty or compassion.

      2: “God can work through anyone, His messengers are not always perfect.” Fundamentalists. They’re hopeless. Serious religious people are one thing; twerps who think a Jesus fish or anti-evolution bumper sticker makes them Holy are a lost cause. These are the same people who revel in local news coverage of freeway pileups and other tragedies, saying “I was almost on that road, but something told me to take a different route instead. God was looking out for me.” Yeah, and God HATES the people who died. You MUST be special.

      3: “PC has gone too far.” These are the types you mentioned, the ones paranoid that Big Gummint is forcibly taking their tax money for social-engineering schemes which benefit the Wrong Sorts. And look at all the wreckage that’s ensued!

      These people truly mystify me. They want some kind of Eden where everyone’s white, everyone’s straight, and women have dinner waiting when you get home. Where are they getting this picture? America hasn’t been like that since the fucking Beatles! TV stations don’t show “Ozzie & Harriet” reruns like they did when I was a kid. So where does the fantasy come from? Fox? I don’t have cable, I don’t know. It’s coming from somewhere. Few of these people were alive in 1955.

      4: “Trump makes the elites mad, he must be doing something right.” This to me is the saddest group of all. Their towns are dying. Their unions are dead. And the Democratic Party has been blowing them off for decades.

      So they’ve circled the wagons and come up with a kind of “culture” that’s all about identifying as NOT AN URBAN LIBERAL. Members may, in fact, live in cities, in the white trash suburbs. Or in small towns. It just has to be broken & fucked.

      There are so many requirements. You don’t drink craft beer. You don’t like certain types of music. You prefer chain restaurants to “foreign food.” You don’t believe football causes brain damage. It’s really more a list of “don’t”s than of “do”s. Liking NASCAR or country music is a plus, but not a requirement. Liking soccer or disco? You’re not One Of Us.

      And Trump is One Of Them. He’s not one of those snooty-pants liberals. (No, he’s a rich snob who despises even shaking hands with the poor, but they don’t see this.) He puts ketchup on his steak! Eats fast food! (Remember their love for Bush II? “You could have a beer with him.”)

      It’s sad because there’s truth in it. The Democratic Party has become, in too many ways, a cultural identity organization of its own. Smart, chic people work in offices and have all the most modern attitudes on everything. Did you hear the latest podcast that everyone’s talking about? You didn’t? You’re not cool.

      And it’s sad because it’s mostly a lie. Most liberals don’t make shit, no more than anybody else these days. There’s a reason people in the 1960s called office careers the “rat race” and it hasn’t changed much since then, except to become more brutal. I’m a staunch liberal, have been for almost 30 years. I have never had, and never will have, a job that doesn’t involve cleaning the workplace toilet. (And I’m fine with that! But I do wish my jobs paid more.)

      Obviously, there’s innumerable overlaps with 1-4, nobody’s just one of those types. This is my best effort at figuring out why my fellow citizens voted for an insecure rapist fool. Ours is a very broken society, that’s for sure.

  2. Even in this degraded time, the majority of “garden-variety civil servants” don’t actually subvert their offices to become multi-millionaires, I suppose it’s all about leading by example, though. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, amirite?

    “no one is out to get Trump”

    Wait. Did I stumble onto The Onion by mistake? Never mind, then.

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