Obama’s Mass Lesbian Infiltration Plan

Jonathan ChaitBarack Obama is nearing the finish line of a presidency filled with accomplishments ranging from death panels to FEMA camps to the importation of Sharia law. Year eight is a natural time for Obama to unveil the most deviously brilliant plot of them all: mass lesbian infiltration of the agriculture sector. The Department of Agriculture has cleverly designed this scheme as an innocuous outreach summit to LGBT Americans living in rural areas. But Rush Limbaugh has exposed the administration’s true intentions, which are nothing less than a full-scale assault on the last bastion of red-state America.

Here’s how it works. “Rural America happens to be largely conservative. Rural America is made up of self-reliant, rugged individualist types,” explains Limbaugh. (Farmers are “self-reliant” because, even though their sector is technically the recipient of heavy federal subsidies, they are overwhelmingly white.) …

I mean, it’s pretty obvious that once Obama locks up the farmers in FEMA camps, he’s going to need to repopulate the farms with political loyalists, or else the cities will have food shortages. That’s where the lesbians come in. By the time Hillary Clinton is running for her fourth term, red America will have been completely liquidated, and she won’t even need Acorn to steal the election for her.

—Jonathan Chait
Mass Lesbian Farm Infiltration Is Obama’s Best Scheme Yet

9 thoughts on “Obama’s Mass Lesbian Infiltration Plan

  1. And here I thought it was just because the women all read Even Cowgirls Get the Blues and said “I gotta do that.”

    • Or could it be… Obama and Tom Robbins are the same person?!

      I’d forgotten about him. I was really into him for a brief period in my late teens.

  2. Rush can’t believe any of this stuff, can he? It almost sounds like John Oliver’s You Tube conspiracy parody.

    • Rush Limbaugh is often had to figure out. He is smart and he is funny. And to be honest, I’m not sure that he knows where the jokes end the policy analysis begins. And his listeners don’t care.

      • I suspect when he’s railing against “feminazis” and “anti-white bigotry” he’s genuine. I’d be surprised if he gives a poop about family farmers. On his conspiracy theories, I’m guessing he’s like a journalist who makes up a source because the journalist believes the story is important (and the story gets that journalist more readers). Rush may not believe the conspiracy stuff, yet think it”s important to get it out there and let “the people” decide if it’s factually true, instead of merely emotionally true.

        • I think like a lot of prominent conservatives, Limbaugh plays it both ways. In the middle of his show, he more or less believes all the stuff he spews. But when he’s out with his rich friends, he assures them, “I’m just a clown! Just a clown!”

          • And then reminds his friends how rich and connected Mr. Clown is. Just to let them know; he’s kidding, but he’s a skilled moneymaker. Which, I have to grant, he is. So was Al Capone.

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