This is Jesus Hector my first great-nephew. At least that’s what I think he is. I’m not really very clear on all this stuff when it comes to matters avuncular. Anyway, he was born this morning. People always want to know the size of infants, so I will tell you that he was six and a half pounds, which I think it about what I was.
I lobbied for the switching the his first and middle names. I have nothing against Jesus, but no one thinks, “I hope my son grows up to be Jesus.” Even if you are a Christian, that’s really not a good life. What’s more, it is typical of the Abrahamic God that he would not care about his son. All that “For God so loved the world” is clearly after the fact apologetics.
Hector, on the other name, is about the coolest name in existence. You see, in the Iliad, Hector is the reluctant warrior. Achilles is all about glory. But Hector just wants to take care of his family. But unfortunately, he has a troublesome brother who brings a war right to his doorstep. Hector dies in the Iliad, but he is still the greatest character — and the most noble.
Now you can imagine just how horrible Jesus Hector’s live is going to be as I tell him about the nobility of his name each time we meet. And when he’s in grammar school, I’ll buy him a child’s version of the Iliad. Then I’ll buy him the young adult version. And from about 14 years old onward, I expect the two of us to have passionate debates as to whether the Iliad should be read as poetry or prose.
Anyway, I figured I would let you all know that there is an addition to my family. The world is a mixed blessing. But I think the good outweighs the bad. And we are very pleased to have Jesus Hector join us.