I’m sorry to say that today is rather a bad day. I don’t write these articles in order, so I know what’s coming. But I thought I would present you with a song to get you ready for it. It’s Elvis Costello’s “I Want You” off Blood & Chocolate. It is a supremely creepy song. I remember doing this. After a relationship ends, tormenting yourself over it.
I remember a woman I knew thought one line was wrong, “Did you call his name out as he held you down.” She thought it should be “as I held you down.” True, that has a certain power, but it totally misses the point of song: the imagination of just what the absent lover is doing. And yet, still you want her. You want to protect her; you want to kill her; you just want her.
I am very glad to be past those times. I have certain expectations of people in my life. I am disappointed and lonely at times. But no one has the kind of power over me that Costello sings about. And it may be the height of hubris to say that no one ever will have that kind of power over me again. It isn’t that it couldn’t happen. But I just would not let it happen. I don’t have that kind of trust in human nature. But you can all laugh heartily at me if I ever allow it to happen. And as you doubtless already know, I would write about it here first.