This just in from The Virginian-Pilot, VA GOP Official Apologizes for Genital Slang “Error.” If you are like me, you are mighty eager to know what that genital slang error was. But don’t go looking to the “respectable” The Virginian-Pilot to tell you what it is. They apparently don’t print such nasty words. (They did, however, provide an image at the bottom of the article.)
It all happened yesterday night. It seems that Representative Frank Wolf is retiring. So there are lots of people trying to get the Republican nomination for the seat. One of them is that strange creature known as a woman, Barbara Comstock. When a political commentator publicly supported Comstock and talked about how strong Republican women are (Unlike Democratic women who are a bunch of wimps?!), the Virginia Republican Party Treasurer Bob FitzSimmonds took to Facebook to have his say. This is exactly how The Virginian-Pilot quoted him:
They added, “One definition for the word he used is a vulgar term for female genitalia.” Oh, what could it be?! Could it be “cunt”? That would be great! Or vajayjay? Actually, the Online Slang Dictionary lists about 150 names, many of them quite colorful like “quivering mound of love pudding.” (Don’t ask me!) It only becomes clear in an update where FitzSimmonds is quoted saying that he thought the word meant “twaddle.” So if you guessed “twat”—Ding, ding, ding!—you’re a winner!
What is clear is that FitzSimmonds didn’t know what “twat” means. His sentence didn’t make sense with “twat” and it does with “twaddle.” But look at that picture above. That’s our man Bob. He can’t be any older than I am. Yet he makes the kind of mistake that a very un-worldly 80-year-old might make. And that photo? Notice the unusual but entirely bad framing? That’s from his Facebook page, although I cropped it to make it not look so bad—the original went far out to the right where we get to enjoy a blurry background. The man is out of touch.
But he is entirely typical of his party. I don’t have a problem with the word “twat.” While it is true that it is a synonym for “vagina,” it is more commonly used to describe an idiot. The content of what FitzSimmonds was saying, however, is quite offensive. His problem seems to be that anyone would talk about women as a class. What FitzSimmonds is really going for is something akin to Stephen Colbert’s routine about not seeing color. This is generally what powerful groups say. Whites say, “You blacks are being racist for talking about race!” And FitzSimmonds is saying, “You women are sexist for talking about sex!”
What I think is that FitzSimmonds is something I closely associate with “twat”: he’s a twit. And as far as I’m concerned, he is one of the top choices for the 2014 Upper-Class Twit of the Year award:
H/T: Political Wire