Fun With Penises and Inspiration Posters

Ink PenFor whatever reason, I am feeling very lazy today. So I was trolling around FARK looking for anything that would relieve my boredom. And I came upon an interesting headline for an NPR story, “Despite the Rise of Electronic Keyboards, the Penis Still Popular Among Aficionados.” Now maybe you are quicker than I am. Actually, it’s almost certain you are. I consider myself a pretty good thinker, but my I/O chip is very bad and I’m often the last person to get something like this. All I could think is that both keyboards and dildos (in the shape of penises) are both made of plastics or rubber or something. It also occurred to me that “penis” was the name of some kind of input device. You know, like a joystick.

So I clicked over. I had to know. I already feel bad about not knowing anyone who who shows up on TMZ. If a penis is a new technology, I wanted to know! It turns out that the penis is not a new technology. Actually, the story was one that I’m very interested in. You see, FARK wrote “penis” when they meant “pen is.” (Or many not; the people at FARK are a bunch of devils!) It was about the fact that people don’t use many pens anymore, but there are still freaks like me who love them. It made me think of Edward Bulwer-Lytton and how maybe he meant, “The penis mightier than the sword.” This is not true, of course. Just ask John and Lorena Bobbitt. (Oh my God! I just saw a picture of “it”; I don’t deal well with that kind of stuff.)

Moving on, I was led to a great article at Buzz Feed, 14 Motivational Posters That Inspire No One. They are mostly very common posters, but the snarky comments are great. I highly recommend clicking over because I laughed a whole bunch. Here is my favorite:

You Are Beautiful

Under this image, the writer offered, “…but I am just a pole, so don’t place too much value on my opinion.” It’s not the funniest by a long shot, but it is a very important perspective on sign admonitions.

That article led me to another, 17 Really Awful “Keep Calm” Things. These are based on the famous WWII British signs, “Keep Calm and Carry On.” Apparently, over in England they love to play with the saying. Unfortunately, they are all just pathetic. Except this one that I know Andrea will like:

Keep Calm and Carrion

A long time ago, Andrea created a cartoon with a vulture dragging a dead deer to an airport boarding gate. The flight attendant at the gate said, “I’m sorry sir, no carrion.” See what I have to put up with?

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