I have a fair amount of respect for conspiracy theorists. But I often have big problems with specific conspiracy theories. I most hate the JFK assassination conspiracies. But a close second are the Roswell conspiracies. In fact, pretty much all UFO conspiracies are based on the belief that the military does not have equipment flying around that they would prefer not to talk about. Roswell certainly falls under this; it seems to have been some kind of equipment tethered to a balloon that crashed. And I don’t doubt that it was exactly what the authorities claim: weather monitoring equipment.

Regardless of all this, I think I could put up with a whole lot of conspiracy theories if I got as a reward the great Google Doodle celebrating the 66th anniversary of the first report of the Roswell “incident.” It is a little game and it’s a lot of fun. Sad to say, I’ve spent a lot of time playing with it. Click on this image and the app will load in a new window:

Now I’m going to tell you everything I’ve learned from my many minutes of playing the game. But just to protect your fun, I’ve put all that wisdom below the fold.

What is great about this doodle is that it is complex enough that I’m not at all sure I’ve gotten to the bottom of it. The idea of the game is that you are an alien from another planet when something goes wrong with your spacecraft and you crash land in Roswell. You spaceship breaks in three parts and you must collect them to put it back together so you can continue on your space alien way. As you crash, the game shows you where the pieces fly to, but you will have to go rather out of your way to collect them.

Fun Solution

Thus far, I’ve determined two primary ways to win the game (there are variations that I will leave to you). First, I will describe the more involved version because it is more fun. You can’t walk anywhere without running into the top of your ship, so that’s a gimme. The best plan is to move off to the left. This will lead you to a cow. Click on its leash. This will give you the rope, but also allow the cow to wander off and uncover a hole in the ground. Click on the hole in the ground. You will fall down in it where you will see a radioactive gas can and a bean stalk. Click on the gas can to store it. Then apply the gas can to the bean stock. This will cause it grow and you can climb out.

Now you are back with the cow. You don’t need to bother with the cow anymore. However, if you are a playful space alien like me, you will apply some radioactive gas on the cow. (Don’t worry: it doesn’t hurt the cow!) Now you should head to the right, either with a normal or radiated cow. You will pass by your crash site. Keep right on moving. Eventually you will come to a barn. Move to the window on the right side of the barn. Above it, you will see the middle section of your flying saucer. It’s almost within reach! Click on the window and it will open. Inside is a horse. Irradiate the horse! It will grow very big, causing the piece of your ship to fall down where you can click it.

But don’t move yet! Grab that bag of seed. There are chickens to feed. Move further on to the right until you come to the farm house. Just keep moving past the front door until you get to the back of the house. Just so you know what’s going on, climb the tree in the back yard. You can’t get anywhere, but you will see that the bottom of your ship destroyed the back of the house and now the homeowner is sleeping with it in his arms. Enough sightseeing! Go to the chicken. You don’t have to irradiate the chicken, but I’m sure it would appreciate it. You do, however, have to feed the chicken the bag of seed. It will eat and then depart, leaving you a feather. Grab that feather!

Now it is time to irradiate the tree. It will grow. Now climb the tree and tickle the man with the feather. (Sadly, the man does not grow when given radioactive gas.) This will cause him to drop the bottom of your spaceship. Pick it up and you are off in space again: you’ve won!

Simple Solution

You can win the game without ever picking up the radioactive gas can. Just go over to the cow and steal its leash. But make sure you don’t fall into the hole that will open up as a result. Now move to the barn. Climb the ladder and grab the horseshoe. The horseshoe and rope will become one thing. Use it to grab the second part of your spaceship that is on top of the barn. Then move the the farm house. Go up to the door and ring the bell eight times or so and you will hear a crash. You woke up the man enough to make him drop the last part of your ship. Go pick it up and you are on your way!

It is a cool little game. If anyone notices anything I’ve missed, please let me know. It seems like there ought to be more, but I haven’t found anything.