My son has ADHD and is very stubborn, controlling and thinks he rules the world, and if he does not get his way he gets very oppositional and defiant, slamming doors, flipping over furniture and uses hurtful words.
This morning was one of those mornings where he did not get his way and the house turned upside down. You see, he woke up at 7:30 am and got dressed, and I caught him sneaking out the door to go our next door neighbors without asking. Not only was it too early to go and knock on someones door, at 7:30 am, but he did not ask for permission, one of our house rules.
Our ‘House Rules’ are simple and we only have a few of them to make things easier.
1. Say please and thank you
2. Respect each other
3. Ask before you do
4. Use kind words
5. Love each other
In addition to our ‘House Rules’, my son has a routine of what is expected of him in his day to day routine, for example; brushing his teeth, getting dressed, showering daily, coming his hair, going to school, etc…If he meets the expectations he will get a specified amount of time for TV, ipad, playing with dad, playing with mom and play dates. If not, certain privileges will be taken away!
Back to this morning’s event! After catching him sneaking out the door I had to ask him nicely 25 or more times (I lost count) to come back inside, with a response of “Shut Up” or some other non-acceptable words every time. I finally got him back in the house and tried to explain to him that he can’t just walk out the door without asking plus on top of that, he cannot go knocking on someone’s door at 7:30 am. OMG, doors slammed and things went flying and the threats of he’s going to hit me started. This is where I usually lose it but today I tried to remain calm, choosing my words carefully and then re-direct. This took 30 minutes to do but we were finally able to get dressed, walk out the door, get in the car and go and get some breakfast before I dropped him off at camp.
Sitting at breakfast we were able to talk a little about what happened, how he did not follow several of our house rules, the consequence he will get for not asking to go next door and how disappointed I was. I am now on my way next door to explain what happened and to have them help me enforce the consequence of my son not being allowed to visit them today and if he tries, ask them to send him home.
In addition of letting him know of his consequence for today’s behavior, I also informed him of his schedule after I pick him up from camp so I will not experience any more opposition. He will be spending an hour with his educational therapist reading and reviewing math facts and then we are going to his behaviorist.
Needless to say I am exhausted and frustrated from this morning and having a hard time sinking my teeth into work and doing my daily chores. I need to get some food in me and run to the grocery store but instead I decided to put everything in writing hoping it will make me feel better. My son is the most sensitive, loving and caring child but sometimes he just snaps and this is where our family really struggles!