Last week, God tweeted out the following:
Any atheist who retweets this is going to hell for eternity.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 18, 2013
Thus far, it has almost 10,000 retweets. Clearly, this is an example of retweet trolling. God knows how arrogant most atheists are. I am not, however. My mother used to say, “Don’t tempt the gods.” I think it’s good advice, even if I don’t happen to believe in any gods. Anyway, my ideas about the nature of reality are that even if this isn’t a universe in which you die and go to the heaven of the God of Abraham, such a universe must exist at some point somewhere. Or not. Regardless, I’m hedging my bets.
This morning, God tweeted another very smart thing (he’s God after all):
Why do bad things happen to good people? To balance out the good things that happen to bad people.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 23, 2013
That explains everything! Millions live without healthcare so that Dick Cheney can get a new heart (regular or artificial) whenever he needs one. Thanks God!