Last night, I watched this video 24 Hours of Madness. It is some kind of British celebrity game show. You know the kind where everyone goes on just to show that they are more clever and charming than the Yankees? And I got sucked in. It was loads of fun. But if you are going to watch it, fast forward to about 10 minutes, because it is a raw tape and you can’t hear anything up to that point.
One of the celebrities was comedian Sue Perkins. And I thought—in addition to being, of course, clever and charming—she was lovely. And then I thought, “I’ll bet she’s a lesbian.” So I looked it up in “Who’s a lesbian,” also known as Wikipedia, and sure enough: she’s a lesbian. And that got me wondering, “Why do I always find lesbians so attractive?”
My answer is that it is the hair. I love short hair on women. Normally, I would call for more straight women to cut their hair short. But the truth is that it works for me that short hair appears to be a lesbian thing. That way, I can have unrequited crushes on women and know that it absolutely is nothing personal. And that’s a very comforting thought as I make my way through the frumpy years.