The poem below was sent to me by my Christian Conservative aunt. If she’s sent it out, it must be viral among the Christian crowd on the internet. It is a parody of Twas the Night Before Christmas. As poetry, it shows about as much skill as I’ve come to expect from ChristiProp. There is a total lack of understanding of accents and meter. For example, the first line of the song has 12 syllables; the parody has 15. But this isn’t what bothers me.
I can accept the assumption that all kids go to heaven. I can even accept that all the children are happy except for that one little girl who is a total buzz kill remembering her parents. But I can’t accept the explicit political nature of the poem. Just on the surface: none of these kids seem to remember their teachers. When I was that age, my teachers were very important to me; I spent a lot of time with them. But the poem doesn’t even mention teachers, I suspect because they are (1) union members and (2) teaching in a secular school.
Much more problematic is badass Jesus. He’s going to take his country back. He’s wants the country taken out of the hands of “fools.” Who do you think he could mean? I’ll bet Sarah Palin could tell you. And, of course, he’s going to take back the schools, because that’s what caused this shooting: no school prayer. This is pure Christian Nationalism: what we really need is for America to be a Christian Nation. That and tax cuts for the rich will solve all our problems.
It is interesting that murders at schools have been going down. This is from Up with Chris Hayes:
So that’s a little good news. But the good news of the poem is: ain’t it nice to think that all these children are now living in bliss with Jesus. That may be a happy thought, but it doesn’t do anything for those of us who don’t believe in their myths. In fact, it is worse than that: such happy thoughts just allow us to continue to do nothing about problems that actually exist.
This poem may serve to make certain people feel better. But its main intent is to push a particular, very conservative, political agenda. You have to ask yourself: why would it take this particular tragedy to inspire Jesus to “take his country back”? If he does have this power, why didn’t he do it 2000 years ago? And if it is because humans just have to make their own mistakes, then why did the murder of these 20 children cause him to change this policy?
Read the poem. I think it is worth it. Also: I’d be interested in what others have to say.
Update (28 December 2012 2:25 pm)
Jeremy wrote a really good article at Our Daily Train that is well worth checking out:
 How about this, which took me no time at all:
Twas just days before Christmas, ’round nine thirty-eight
When 20 lovely children stormed through heaven’s gate.
And yes, I understand that the “20” is still wrong, but I figure it is very important to them to drive home what they’re talking about. “When loads of bright children stormed through heaven’s gate” works much better.