David Frum has written two articles in as many days about what he calls “doomsday conservatism.” Both relate to a column by conservative nutjob and Pillsbury Doughboy standin Marc Thiessen. He is the part of the Republican Party who think of themselves as The Little Party That Could. If they are just true and strong then that big meanie President Obama will wave the white flag.
Really, this guy is delusional. This is the opening of his Washington Post column, “When the 1st Marine Regiment was encircled by communist forces at the Battle of Chosin Reservoir, Marine Col. Lewis ‘Chesty’ Puller was said to have declared: ‘We’re surrounded. Good! Now we can fire in any direction.'” He should have quoted General Douglas MacArthur, “I shall return.” Because let’s face it, the best the Republicans can hope for is to survive to fight another day.
But no, Thiessen won’t have it! He claims that the Republicans have two options: stand and fight or surrender. As you can probably tell, this is not a guy who knows much about military tactics except for the anecdotes he learned during his trust fund education and well-paid lobbying jobs. But he wouldn’t even need to have served in the military to know better. Anyone with a little experience getting kicked in the teeth by life could have told him there are more than just two options. But this is the Republican Party all over. Remember John Boehner’s comment that he got 98% of what he wanted—and then turned it down? It seems that this is a world in which you can’t have it all and more and more it looks like that means Republicans are going to take nothing.
Thiessen has a three step plan:
- Don’t raises taxes! And when they are raised automatically in January… Forget step one, go on to step two!
- Come up with a new plan to—Wait for it!—lower taxes!
- Pass your plan and if Obama doesn’t like it, destroy the economy!
This really is his plan. And Frum takes him to task for it. Mostly, he notes that there are no existing plans so somehow the Republicans would have to work all of this legislative magic with their backs to the wall and with the threat of creating the worst economic crisis in the United States since 1861.
But more important, as I noted above, there are not only two options. Unfortunately, all the blood seems to have left Thiessen’s brain and pooled in his dick. Frum explains:
In the end, I think that the Republicans will be more reasonable than this, because Thiessen is not proposing a plan to win these budget negotiations; he’s proposing a plan to destroy the Republican Party.