Fucking in the abstract is not that interesting. Much as it may surprise some men, foreplay is not a bribe to pay to get to the coitus. The process normally goes: guy sees a girl (if only in his mind) and gets horny. It doesn’t really work the other way around. This is because sex is part of relationships, not some disjointed activity. (Don’t bug me about the details, I’m talking generalities here.)

Thus, it came as no surprise to me that the whole “hookup” culture that is supposed to be so big is, in fact, not. This was reported today by Adam Hoffman of The Brown Daily Herald, Hookup Culture Not as Prevalent as Believed, Study Shows. The study found that between 7% and 18% of college students had hookup sex within the last month. There were other telling results, such as the fact that people are most likely to hookup at the beginning of the school year.

The big deal made of this comes from a media always looking for the salacious. To state the obvious: “College students in committed relations” is distinctly “Dog bites man.” Nothing to see here. Of course, the hookup culture is nothing new. It is just a new name. In general, it has different names or no names. Remember the “free love” pledge? It wasn’t about freedom.

So the vast majority of college students are just in regular, boring monogamous relationships. And there’s a reason why these relationships are boring: because it is what everyone does. It’s in our DNA. People who are having hookup sex are getting something different from it. And that’s great! But it’s not going to take over our culture. You know why? Because we’re more like prairie dogs than we’d like to think: