The Lester & Charlie Review send us to the Huffington Post and a story about the results of home schooling, New Zealand Teen Proclaims ‘Ducks Could Take Over The World’ If Gay Marriage Is Approved. But before I get to the letter, I want to tell you why it makes me so happy.
New Zealand! It’s not just us: there are ignorant and evil people in New Zealand too! In fact, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if such people exist in Canada. Now all those idiot conservatives can stop chanting, “We’re number one!” and start chanting, “We’re not the only one!”
Originally, Gawker grabbed the article from New Zealand’s Northern Outlook (but good luck trying to find the original article there). I have taken the time to transcribe this letter because I think it is important to demonstrate the way that conservative Christians think:
My first thought was (and almost always is) that this must be a hoax. But no. There is an article on 17 October Northern Outlook about all the attention the letter is getting. (Sorry, there is no direct link.) The reporter spoke to Mrs. Harrison, Jasmin’s mother, who “said her daughter was well spoken, but not outspoken, and was a committed Christian.”
PZ Myers over at Science Blog gives this letter all it deserves in terms of science. And history. And theology. It is this last part that I find most interesting. What I find troubling about conservatism generally, is how simplistic its world view is. By its thoughts, life is some kind of race to the top. There is a pinnacle that we reach. For economic conservatives, an unregulated capitalism is perfect. They can’t admit that things like inheritance and property rights are necessarily unnatural and unfair. (Note that what these people really pine for is a feudal system.)
For theological conservatives, the issue is even worse. For Christians, this means that the peak of thinking in this area occurred 2000 years ago. And this is what we get from young Jasmin in the form of an evolutionary “ladder.” By this thinking, the whole point of evolution was to create us. And going forward, evolution will improve us. If we don’t watch out and stop having butt sex, God will get mad and make the ducks the chosen species. Then, the whole purpose of the universe will be to improve the duck design. God won’t love us any more, and only good ducks will go to heaven.
Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet duck:
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!