I want to explain why conservatives want to limit the number of people who vote—and I do mean conservatives and not specifically Republicans, because libertarians feel this way too. It all goes back to Plato (or Pluto, the Disney dog—conservatives aren’t that clear on the difference). You see, democracy is a bad idea. The problem is that most people are stupid and ignorant and evil. But mostly just stupid and ignorant. Democracy is so, you know: democratic. It gives all these stupid, ignorant people an equal say in how the society is run. This is wrong!

Or that’s what conservatives tell me. Here’s the thing: most conservatives are incredibly ignorant. I won’t say anything about their intelligence—but they are also stupid. But it doesn’t matter because ignorance is the issue not stupidity. Or evil. Because they are also evil.

Let us take your average person. This gal is really smart—smarter than I am. Do you know how I know? Because she doesn’t give a damn about politics. All she knows is what she sees when changing channels between The Ellen DeGeneres Show and Judge Evil, I mean, Judy. She doesn’t know much, but what she does know is more or less true. She’s never heard of Solyndra. Fast and Furious is a movie her son likes. And she knows the Iraq War was a major mistake, but she doesn’t know fuck all about weapons of mass destruction, which means she doesn’t “know” that we found them in Iraq. But that’s about it. The main thing is that she knows enough to vote in a reasonable way.

The conservatives, on the other hand, are of two types: either they know a lot of things that aren’t true or they pretend to know a lot of things that aren’t true. The first type is much more common than the second. In fact, the first type know a lot of untrue things because of the second type. They also think they are far more informed than the average person because of the second type. And the first type more or less votes against their own interests because of the second type.

It is a, “First they came for the Jews” kind of thing. By the time the conservative masses wake up to what is happening, their votes won’t count either. And they will say what conservatives say more and more, “You mean they lied to me?”