There is nothing so much as watching the Super Bowl to make one start a list of reasons for suicide. How can you not? They are thrust in your face!
Most notably, of course, there is the dullest of sporting events: football. It is deadly. First, there is the fact that there is very little actual play in the game. It looks very bad compared to soccer, basketball, hockey, rugby, or even the pastoral baseball. Then there is the fact that the teams seem more like dysfunctional hospitals than sporting groups, where every player is specialized to the point of not being able to play any other position. Could you imagine a kicker filling in for a safety? So the main event is not worth watching, which is one reason.
Then there is the fact that there is no square inch without an advertisement. And after a while, you begin to think that this is actually the main event: “I must buy a Motorola headset.” This is another good reason.
Madonna performed at the half time. It was an amazing show. It was big, exciting, entertaining, professional. It could not have been any better. And it was awful. All that creativity and work and money spent to create something that looked like it shouldn’t be allowed outside the city limits of Las Vegas. This was a great reason.
The high point of the show was a commercial for some truck—let’s say it was Dodge, but I’m not sure. This man manages to escape sure death to meet his friends in the city, which frankly doesn’t look like a place worth escaping to. Then it starts to rain frogs, which, you know, makes me think they are trying to appeal to Christians. And that is definitely a good reason.
The high point of the event was a Hulu commercial with Will Arnett. He’s a funny guy and he even uses a line from Arrested Development. That in itself is not a reason.
But in the end, it seemed like my entire culture was just commerce. The creative and able people only create things to sell with but one thought: maximizing profits. And with complete honesty, I am deeply, deeply depressed. I see now how much a man of his time George Orwell was. 1984 was a great book. And movie. But it is no longer necessary to enslave people. They gleefully do it themselves.