Caffeine’s Like Mething Around

Starbucks Awake TeaMost people are not aware that the United States tried to make caffeine illegal in the 1930s. They found that it was impossible. It was already in so many products and the United States of Commerce has a government of the corporations, by the corporations, for the corporations. But you didn’t need to know that to figure out that a drug’s danger had nothing to do with its legal status. According to the CDC, “Each year, an estimated 443,000 people die prematurely from smoking or exposure to secondhand smoke.” This is far more than the number of people who die from all illegal drugs combined. But who cares? We’re talking profits!

I am not, as they say, a coffee achiever. Why people keep buying me Starbucks cards, I can’t say. But last Sunday, I went over to Starbucks. Normally, when I go there, I get their Earl Grey tea, because they don’t have English Breakfast. But this day, I decided to try their only other black tea: Awake. What a mistake! I had to rush home and hide under my bed while I waited for the effect to subside. After a few hours, I passed out either from the sudden disappearance of the caffeine or an anxiety overload. Thank you so much, Starbucks!

I am used to ingesting 50 mg of caffeine per day—up to 100 mg if I’m feeling cocky. I know what these levels of caffeine feel like and this was not what my Awake experience felt like. I figure there must have been 200 mg of caffeine in that damnable cup. But it’s strange. It is hard to find data. Starbucks proudly displays the number of calories on their pretend bagels. But they don’t provide caffeine content. You would think they would. What is it that they sell, anyway: caffeine.

According to, 12 oz. of Awake tea only has 100 mg of caffeine. Of course, they also claim that it has the same amount of caffeine as their Earl Grey tea. Sorry. When it comes to caffeine, I’m like one of those really expensive thermometers: very sensitive.

So all you coffee achievers out there: if you’re looking for a tea, Awake is for you. But you should know: that caffeine is killing you. Stress kills.

Speed kills: don’t meth around!
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About Frank Moraes

Frank Moraes is a freelance writer and editor online and in print. He is educated as a scientist with a PhD in Atmospheric Physics. He has worked in climate science, remote sensing, throughout the computer industry, and as a college physics instructor. Find out more at About Frank Moraes.

0 thoughts on “Caffeine’s Like Mething Around

  1. I’m such a coffee addict. It is very alarming to know that caffeine kills. Coffee is off limits for me.

  2. The LD50 (lethal dose in 50% of a population) for caffeine is about double that of cocaine. That is, it is about 3 grams for cocaine and about 8 grams for caffeine. Taken orally. It’s kind of frightening. Not a pleasant way to go.

  3. Yeah, that’s true. consuming too much caffeine would really make you die. that’s why I’m starting to reduce consuming caffeine.

  4. Nice post which these levels of caffeine feel like and this was not what my Awake experience felt like. It figure that there must have been 200 mg of caffeine in that damnable cup. Thanks a lot for posting this article.

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