Why am I at odds with my subconscious? First it ruffled the feathers of my comfortably sleeping Chicken of Depression by causing (yet another) dream in which my husband and daughter are angry with me and have formed a coalition to end my benevolent dictatorship. Apparently I’m becoming desensitized to such a hackneyed form of subliminal torment, because my mean-spirited little id switched tactics and stooped to a new low. Enter John Krasinski, the oddly attractive and highly likable actor who plays Jim on The Office. In my dream, I am, for some inexplicable reason, trying to get his attention in a romantic sense (I don’t remember the details. Seriously, so don’t ask). This was bound to go badly all by itself, but my id is so impatient, to move things along it reminded me of my age (among other impediments to such a miraculous union). Then, to drive the point home, it pointed out that even when I was young and fairly attractive, this young man would NEVER have given me a second look. “He’s married to Emily Blunt for Christ’s sake! And, hello, you two look nothing alike.” By this time, my conscious mind has started to pay attention. I became aware that I was dreaming and I actually got angry with my subconscious for being such a spiteful little bitch–and told it so. Who has dreams like that?! Is it any wonder I don’t sleep well? And to make it worse, I KNOW there are people out there whose inner voice is a goddamn cheerleader. “You are so awesome! Here, have a dream where George Clooney can’t keep his hands off of you. That could SO happen!”
 I say “it” rather than “she” only because my subconscious mind is malevolently androgenous, however, “bitch” still applies. (Interesting aside: Text Edit’s spell-check does not recognize the word androgenous, causing me to doubt myself and look it up in the stupid dictionary. Text Edit is also a bitch.)
P.S. Now I see that this blog software is also gender-specific, so Text Edit is not a bitch, just stupid.