Stephen Colbert at Congress

Stephen Colbert testified before the House Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship and Border Security. Here is his opening statement:

During the questions, he was asked why he cared about this issue. It was the only time he really fell out of character. He spoke of the Bible and taking care of the least of our brothers. It was very moving. As of yet, I haven’t been able to find a clip of it or of the whole hearing—but I saw it, so it must be around somewhere.

They stamped it, didn’t they? Those damn Gideons.

I picked up a copy of the New Testament on the bus yesterday—one distributed by The Gideons International. And I open it and on the first page is a big picture of an American flag! Under it is quoted Proverbs 14:34, “Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.” Damn it! I am so tired of Christians never quoting the fucking Gospels! And why do they never do so? Because the Gospels contain what Jesus actually said and he never said anything about being patriotic. Other than saying you should pay your taxes, he didn’t give a shit! He transcended national boundaries. That’s his whole gig: we are all one in the Lord. It doesn’t matter where you’re from.

So what’s with the fucking flag?! And this from The Gideons International. But do you know where they’re located? Where else? Nashville, Tennessee. Why? To be close to The King, of course!

Hot burnin’ love—as in napalm.