I had to go to the hospital this morning. The doctor didn’t tell me why, so I figure it is just that she is a vampire. Either that or it is standard when you get a check-up. I prefer to think she’s a vampire. Regardless, afterwards, I was waiting for my ride so I called up Andrea. Now Andrea can be the most charming person in the world. But she fell into a bit of a depression about three years ago and so our conversations mostly involve my bringing up random things to see if I can get her interested in anything. One of those today was Bob’s Burgers.
Normally, I don’t bring up Bob’s Burgers because I’ve used the show a lot. Speaking of which, here’s a great bit. After Louise said, “Why is the front door open?” And Gene responds, “Maybe God closed a window?” Now come on folks, that’s great comedy. But maybe I just like it because I hate that platitude. My thought has always been that when God closes a door, he usually collapses the roof on you as well. But I wasn’t thinking about that. I was, as I often do, speculating about the future lives of the kids.
And Andrea said, “You’re way over-thinking this show.” And I thought that was a distinctly unkind thing to say. To begin with, she is the person who introduced me to the show. But more important, I over-think everything. That is who I am and she should know it better than just about anyone. If I didn’t over-think things, I wouldn’t be Frank. And over-thinking trivial things is what I’m especially good at. Did I not write, The Evolution of the Pets.com Sock Puppet? And, The Shocking True Story of Twin Chickens? And, Bugs Bunny: Rabbit or Hare? Yes, yes, and yes!
But my fascination with Bob’s Burgers is not just that it is a hilarious show. Much more important is the fact that Bob’s Burgers is the story of my childhood. My parents always had some little business that was barely getting by. When I was older, we had had a deli, and I remember that at the end of each month, it was this big production to get the money for the rent — just like in the show. And notice that it is a dysfunctional family, but not a hateful one. If I were going to fictionalize my childhood, it would be something like Bob’s Burgers.
So I think that it is about the most accurate depiction of an American family that has ever been on television. The only thing I can think of that even comes close is Roseanne. But this is from my perspective. I come from people who might be described as white trash with big dreams. But both of my parents were the black sheep of their families and so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that the world ended up with me. It’s probably a good thing that I never had kids. If I had had a son, he probably would have been someone like the Unibomber, but with puppets or confetti or something.
Regardless, many people may be able to over-think Bob’s Burgers, but I can’t. And yesterday, when Bob made peace with his father, I cried like a baby — even as I laughed, because Bob is awkward in much the same way I am. Oh, the humanity!
Update: I’m Not Sick
Thank you for all the kind wishes, but I’m not sick. I just haven’t been to the doctor in about 8 years, and thanks to Obamacare, I have a doctor. So I got a check-up and she sent me to get a little blood drawn. And how she has me on Kelp. I feel like a sea otter.
Actually, as a result of going to the doctor, I caught a minor cold. Next time: mask and gloves!
In what way are the Belchers dysfunctional? They seem like a perfectly healthy family to me.
Are you being sarcastic? That’s an honest question, because I can see it as being obvious or subtle. It’s a cartoon, so everything is toned down. But Linda is an alcoholic. Bob goes heavily for opioids whenever he has the chance. The first episode starts with the great line, “You’re my children, and I love you. But you’re all terrible at what you do here, and I feel I should tell you, I’d fire all of you if I could.” Yeah, I’d say they are dysfunctional. But maybe I’m thinking more about my family.
From another over-thinker, the full richness of life, whether it be joy or sorrow, comes from over-thinking things. Or perhaps it’s the absurd and the morose that comes from over-thinking.
All I know is while I envy the upper classes their money, I don’t envy their dull, paint-by-numbers minds. How bored they must be. Wealth is wasted on the wearisome!
When I think about having wealth, I generally think of two things. First, helping out people in prison. Second, starting a repertory theater. Otherwise, I can’t imagine my life being much different. But I would vacation at the Timber Cove Inn a couple times of the year. I do love it up there. Even for me, it is relaxing.
I don’t know. But I’m a very hot-cold person. If I like something, I usually really like it. There isn’t a lot of middle ground.
Why did you have to go to the hospital this morning? And why would a doctor send you there if they are a vampire?
As for Bob’s Burgers now I want a burger. I probably shouldn’t eat one but pickles on a bun sound good.
Yes. Get well, Frank! If you need anything, ask a nurse, not a doctor!
Just to be clear: I’m not sick. My thyroid is underperforming a bit, but I have no symptoms. And I have too little Vitamin D. So I’m going to take Vitzmin D and Kelp. I have a kind of “nature woman” doctor — who played Rosencrantz in a college production of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Her name is Aja Morningstar. Is that the perfect doctor for me or what?
Oh, Lord, great name!
God, every doctor wants patients on D.now. It’s a trend. Keep one eye on that thyroid stuff, but don’t be concerned. Even if it goes south it’s easy managed with a pill
My D is amazingly low. And my sister has Hashimoto’s thyroiditis for 13 years, so I might have that. But it is well managed by medication.
There used to be this place in San Mateo called Tops Burgers. It was the best burger place ever and I would go there whenever I was in town. And then one day, it went out of business. I wish I had Bob’s Burgers around. I need a place with great burgers. Of course, I’m pretty happen with In and Out.
I don’t live near an In N Out anymore. Kind of sad about that.
I went to a new chain called Habitat Grill. And had a very nice burger. It was weird, when I was sick my salt levels got so low I was actually craving things like pickles which I haven’t done for a long time.
Glad it isn’t anything serious.
Pickles are awful! Actually, in the last several years, there have been a lot of high end burger places popping up. They aren’t around me. But when I do go to them, they make good burgers as long as you stay away from weird burgers. As much as I like Bob’s Burgers, his burger of the day almost always sounds horrible.
I am always going to disagree with you on the pickles you know. I likes them. *crunches some more*
I don’t know why people think that having weird ingredients on a burger is a good idea.
I have this thing about pizza. Pizza is a “cheese” pizza. That’s just what it is. If you want vegetables or meat, have it on the side. I remember when I was in Italy, no one put stuff on pizza. I think that’s an American thing. We love to complicate things. Not well know: Dante left out the 10th ring of hell that was for people who put broccoli on pizza.
But then how do you get the pepperoni to be properly crisp around the edges?
Having never been to Italy, I have no idea how their pizza is so I will take your word for it it is BORING.
Actually, I did find the pizza in Italy bad. The only decent pizza I got in Europe was in Switzerland.
It didn’t sound unkind. More like “enjoy it, don’t think about the possible dark side of it, get healthy.” Although I don’t think wondering where those kids would end up is necessarily dark! They’re all odd and will always be, but they’re loved, and that helps a lot.
I see Gene and Tina being happy. Tina ends up with Zeke, who is very sweet once you get right down to it. And now, Gene and Courtney seem like a good pair. I suspect that Tina will end up taking over the business from Bob. She may never find love and lose herself in work. Luckily, though, they will never grow up!