Qualified? Qualified? Wow, what a question! Me, Crow T Robot, what do I think? Am I qualified? Wow. That’s a heavy burden! How can I make a difference? Can I make a difference? Surely, I’m but a single bot, alone as it were in the vast universe thing. Maybe I can change the world. Perhaps I’ve looked at life from upside down…
What would Joel do in a situation like this? No, I’ve got to learn to think for myself — to stand on my own two foot like appendages. Seize the day. Think globally, act locally. Yes, by God, I can do it! Why I could start a letter writing campaign. Yeah, that would help. And I could organize a bake sale. Or… Hey, we could all help! Come on friends, run to your window and shout, “I’m really cheesed and I’m not gonna hang around til this thing gets better!” Organize an improv group and do guerrilla theater at the food court of your mall. Dress a little differently — make it more exciting for you and your spouse. Or, here’s an idea: pour a little Cajun spice into the party mix and watch the fun. Put on a one man show and talk about your true inner feelings in an emotionally charged, gut wrenching autobiographical account of your warped adolescence, and then watch the grant money come in. Woo! But don’t snap judge me. And then, I know, put a drop of vanilla behind each ear and then you’ll smell like a cookie all day. Or eat an apple — nature’s toothbrush. Ask Mr Owl how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie center. Have you met everyone on your block? Now would be a nice time to start, don’t you think? Hmm? In the classroom, slide your desks together and create an ecology symbol. Police the lives of those around you, and get your sensibilities way the heck out of wack. Parade up and down the street in your underwear. Impose your ideals on others — it’s easy! Crush someone with an emotional word or enigmatic look. You decide. You do it! I’m sick of this! I can’t make a decision. I’m no good at this sort of thing. It’s up to you. I’m passing the buck. To you.
—Crow T Robot
From King Dinosaur episode.