Crow T Robot Channels Howard Beale

Crow T RobotQualified? Qualified? Wow, what a question! Me, Crow T Robot, what do I think? Am I qualified? Wow. That’s a heavy burden! How can I make a difference? Can I make a difference? Surely, I’m but a single bot, alone as it were in the vast universe thing. Maybe I can change the world. Perhaps I’ve looked at life from upside down…

What would Joel do in a situation like this? No, I’ve got to learn to think for myself — to stand on my own two foot like appendages. Seize the day. Think globally, act locally. Yes, by God, I can do it! Why I could start a letter writing campaign. Yeah, that would help. And I could organize a bake sale. Or… Hey, we could all help! Come on friends, run to your window and shout, “I’m really cheesed and I’m not gonna hang around til this thing gets better!” Organize an improv group and do guerrilla theater at the food court of your mall. Dress a little differently — make it more exciting for you and your spouse. Or, here’s an idea: pour a little Cajun spice into the party mix and watch the fun. Put on a one man show and talk about your true inner feelings in an emotionally charged, gut wrenching autobiographical account of your warped adolescence, and then watch the grant money come in. Woo! But don’t snap judge me. And then, I know, put a drop of vanilla behind each ear and then you’ll smell like a cookie all day. Or eat an apple — nature’s toothbrush. Ask Mr Owl how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie center. Have you met everyone on your block? Now would be a nice time to start, don’t you think? Hmm? In the classroom, slide your desks together and create an ecology symbol. Police the lives of those around you, and get your sensibilities way the heck out of wack. Parade up and down the street in your underwear. Impose your ideals on others — it’s easy! Crush someone with an emotional word or enigmatic look. You decide. You do it! I’m sick of this! I can’t make a decision. I’m no good at this sort of thing. It’s up to you. I’m passing the buck. To you.

—Crow T Robot
From King Dinosaur episode.

4 thoughts on “Crow T Robot Channels Howard Beale

  1. Brilliant. It actually almost its well with the Cosby post — as sweet as Crow is, he might be a little psychotic if he had power. Fortunately Joel’s there to rein him in.

    Odd how conservatives are more frightened by democratic legislation restricting power than they are by individuals/business interests using power to restrict others. And yet they always reverse the polarity, in a way! They categorize democratic legislation as “government,” to which they ascribe a very distinct, malicious personality. While they depict individual/corporate power as the “invisible hand,” a faceless entity doing naught but good. It’s weird . . .

    • Well, Crow did say that for Christmas the following year, “I want to say who lives and dies!” Also, when Trace Beaulieu stopped doing him, he became much more unhinged. Of course, the show always had the problem of going for an easy joke at the expense of consistency — especially during the Mike period. A big part of the problem is that I saw Mike as kind of jerk. The show was much harsher under him and there wasn’t the feeling that they appreciated the films. I wasn’t surprised to find out that Mike is a conservative Christian. He doubtless thinks that he “built that” rather than just lucking into a job that suited his snarky talents.

      I’ve been reading Injustices and in it he highlights a period of three months in the 1890s when the Supreme Court found the interstate commerce clause couldn’t be used to stop a sugar monopoly but could be used to stop a workers’ strike. It’s just as vile as can be.

      • Ha — I went to my library site to request “Injustices” and I already had. Must have read a good review somewhere.

        I didn’t know that about Mike. But I remember looking at a website he had, oh, 10 years ago or so. It had some really, really mean animation on it depicting the “average Minnesotan” as this deformed hillbilly sort. So not a fan of the “regular folk” to be sure.

        I just looked his page up on Wiki and I guess he moved to San Diego for a while. There’s this thing some people get when they move to Southern California where they have to imagine how much more fantastic their home is than everywhere else (I hated it, but I’m poor. It’s a sucky place to be poor.) I remember visiting a friend in LA once, in early January. My friend (we aren’t friends now) had to comment on how amazingly ugly the people getting off the plane from Minnesota were — compared, to you know, the usual SoCal beauty. I reminded him this was right after the holidays; most of those travelers were coming back home.

        • I’ve begun to wonder if the rupture at MST3K wasn’t fundamentally political. I think all of what I think of as the main cast was pretty liberal. The only one who seems to be able to get along with both sides was Mary Jo Pehl. But I agree with Mike about some things, like that Road House really is one of the worst films ever made. (Although when he did a riff-track for it, it was underwhelming.) But my main complaint about Mike is that he doesn’t seem to much appreciate films. Still, he is amusing.

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