Funny Tombstones

A friend sent me to a humorous tombstone. It is supposed to be Russell J. Larsen, although I’ve found a few different ones said to be his:

Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life:

  1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
  2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
  3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.
  4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
  5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.

There are whole lists of humorous tombstones. Andrea first told me about this one:

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I find these all amusing, but equally, disturbing. Why would someone want to put a joke on his tombstone? I can understand telling people, “On my tombstone, there’s gonna be just two words, ‘Fuck you’!” That could be fun; all your friends would giggle and think you deliciously evil. But to actually do it? That makes no sense.

Perhaps you have to believe in God or that you will become a ghost so you can float over your tombstone and chortle over the effect your wit has on the mourners. But for someone like me, who may believe in God but most definitely doesn’t believe in a life beyond this one, it all seems pointless. I only make jokes for two reasons: to make myself laugh and to make other people laugh. It won’t make me happy for people to laugh at my wit once my wit is kaput.

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About Frank Moraes

Frank Moraes is a freelance writer and editor online and in print. He is educated as a scientist with a PhD in Atmospheric Physics. He has worked in climate science, remote sensing, throughout the computer industry, and as a college physics instructor. Find out more at About Frank Moraes.

2 thoughts on “Funny Tombstones

  1. Some of these I would dub tasteless, but who am to say? I wouldn’t object to going out with a little humor on my gravestone (or urn.) I’m not an atheist, more of an agnostic for lack of a better word, but I wouldn’t mind having something kind of cheeky and funny to immortalize me, either.

  2. @Kristen – There is another possibility: altruism. There is a wonderful anti-art aspect to it. So there’s that.

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